a) Chelsea have the diving Drogba and Manu have got er...Ronaldo
b) Chelsea have got players like Ashley Cole who disrespect refs and ManU have got, er, Rooney
c) Chelsea have run up unsustainable losses and Manu owe, er, £750 million
d) Chelsea are full of foreigners and ManU have, er, Tevez, Vidic, Evra, Ronaldo, Park, Nani, Anderson....
e) Chelsea always whinge after defeats whereas Fergie, er....
f) Chelsea's fans are glory hunters whose fans don't come from the local area whereas Manu's are, er, not attracted by their success at all and come come from, er, Surrey
g) Chelsea have won loads of trophies in the last few years while Manu have, er, just won back to back Premierships, 11 Prems in all, 2CLs.....
h) Chelsea pick a negative formation and try and defend a 1-0 lead in big games whereas Utd, er, play nine men behind the ball in the CL final
I) Chelsea have sold their soul to a foreign owner whereas ManU have, er, ....
j) Chelsea is just one big marketing operation aimed at shifting merchandise on a global scale. ManU on the other hand...
k) Chelsea just buy up all the top talent for silly prices, while ManU just rely on homegrown talent and bargain buys like, er, Rooney, ferdinand, Tevez, Ronaldo, Nani, Anderson, Hargreaves, Carrick....