I think she is cheating……

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Still can't see any proof justifying microwaving credit cards, wiping laptops and binning all her posessions.

Everything you've listed is your imagination working overtime.

Get some proof (real proof not silly "I counted six messages" rubbish but try having an actual, REAL and ADULT conversation), then yes, everything you've listed may well be valid. But right now, without proof, it's rubbish.

(I've been in this situation. I've had the paranoia. It's self-perpetuating and gets worse and worse. In my case it was unfounded thankfully, but I learned a valuable lesson from it.)

Perhaps you need to step back and actually clear this up before jumping to conclusions which may (and I hope are) totally unfounded in incorrect.
 
Magic_x_uk said:
Do I have no proof ? why suddenly so many text's sent but obviously deleted, why massive call times each day but name deleted?

why is she acting so different?
why is she saying these things to me ?
why is she now thinking the holiday will be a waste of time?

why has she suddenly after 368 days suddenly gone from texting me 20+ times a day to 4 or 5?

why is she cold towards me.
why is there an air in my own home.

She has known what I do in my career for over 7 years. So it is no surprise what I work.

Why has her drive in the bedroom deminished.
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PMT?
 
Norbert666 said:
Still can't see any proof justifying microwaving credit cards, wiping laptops and binning all her posessions.

Everything you've listed is your imagination working overtime.
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To be fair mate form what's he's posted, you'd have to be a complete simpleton to think it was all only your imagination working overtime.
 
So when we talk about her work, she never mentions this guy, she only has 2 work numbers in her phone, her female boss and him. She never mentions him when work goes out, the name is never ever mentioned. I hear lots of names when we talk about her work but never him, although I noticed he rang her 1 minute after I walked out the door the other day, (usually i leave at say 10am but this time i left at 10.30) and he rings the moment I leave and I just buy chance ring her whilst on my way to work and its engaged but later she text's saying sorry it was her sister calling. Her sister had not even called that day.

She is pulling the wool over me. Tomorrow is my day off, I may let it ride tonight. I had to take her to work today as her car needed work on it over the last couple of days.

She has gone into work today looking as though she was going to a lovely restaurant for a meal, not work, very dressy today!

I seriously am thinking tomorrow is judgement day, especially after I take her sodding clothes back to the shop I bought for her, for the party that partners cannot attend, but yet I have been to 3 others.

even when her friends / sisters come over, when I eventually get in. The conversation stops, it’s not a break in conversation as though they were in the middle of talking about something, it just stops. Period.


there is certainly something out there.

Maybe I just got quite attached to this one, but not meant to be huh. Perhaps it's the age difference.
 
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Magic, like is mentioned you should not be asking us these things but her! You have very good questions and they will resolve it one way or another. If she still can not explain its over, kick her out and be the end of it.

Get your mate to go away with you and have some space. Do not continue stressing yourself out over all these unknowns and tackle it head on and find an answer and get on with your life!
 
Magic_x_uk said:
She is pulling the wool over me. Tomorrow is my day off, I may let it ride tonight. I had to take her to work today as her car needed work on it over the last couple of days.

She has gone into work today looking as though she was going to a lovely restaurant for a meal, not work, very dressy today!

I seriously am thinking tomorrow is judgement day, especially after I take her sodding clothes back to the shop I bought for her, for the party that partners cannot attend, but yet I have been to 3 others.
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Well the proof will be in the pudding mate... lets see if you can stick to your guns come tommorrow. Perosnally i'd do it otnight and not let it fester for a moment longer.
 
Richdog said:
To be fair mate form what's he's posted, you'd have to be a complete simpleton to think it was all only your imagination working overtime.
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Exactly, all the signs are there, even if she hasn't slept with the other bloke she's still being unfaithful

Hedge said:
You count that? hahaha
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Well there definately is a noticeable between the amount of texts isn't there? i very much doubt he's actually counted it.

Benjarghmin said:
Jesus Christ, I hope I don't become such a possessive and stalkeresque other half in my years to come.
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Obviously haven't seen all the thread then, he has very good reason to be suspicious.
 
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Janesy B said:
Exactly, all the signs are there, even if she hasn't slept with the other bloke she's still being unfaithful
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and that is no way for a relationship to work. Trust (to me) is everything.

yes yes I know I went through her phone, I know I am not perfect. I have also seen her message logs from MSN Live Messenger to her friends, mentioning "YEAH he just text me :) " etc (thats HIM by the way) and them saying "cool", "great" "what you going to do etc"
 
****ing hell, that's pretty much proof right there, why don't you cut your losses already and get it over and done with. As it is you just can't maintain this relationship if there's no trust and a lot of paranoia. Every day you say nothing, is a day she's running rampant behind YOUR back, spending YOUR money, sleeping in YOUR bed in YOUR house.
 
20 texts a day if you lived with someone would be a bit excessive anyway imo.

but i guess thats not the point :), you have pretty much decided what your doing mate, so try and be strong about it
 
I wouldnt exactly call it being a stalker.

Whenever your with somebody for a period of time, you easily notice when they're not themselves, and things are differant.

I would have no problem with her texting people, but whenever she starts hiding it, thats when theres a problem.
 
If she's not seeing someone else at the moment she's certianly intending to going by your findings. I'd be quietly confident about it and speak to her - show her you can be mature about these things. People change, and although the age shouldnt make a difference in reality it does. I've had two relationships with much younger girls, and one with someone much older. Of the three, the older woman was by far the best ;)
 
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