Funniest things your friends ever said...

'I'd rather lick my way to the centre of the Earth than [do whatever was being discussed which I can't remember]'
 
After explaining the rules of the word-association drinking games whilst on a lads' holiday:

"So you say a word, and then I have to say a word that's different but related to the last one? Like... sex.... and salmon"
 
I really loved my mate saying.

"I've worked out why they are called gangsters; they are in gangs!"
 
When asked whether there were any spoons, my ex replied:
"Yes, they're over there by the microspoons", whilst pointing at a bag of sugared almonds. o_0
 
Rivey said:
After explaining the rules of the word-association drinking games whilst on a lads' holiday:

"So you say a word, and then I have to say a word that's different but related to the last one? Like... sex.... and salmon"
Click to expand...

I'd hate to be the fish in that relationship.
 
Waitress - How would you like your steak sir.

Mate - Ummm, arrr, ummm, kinda medium, ummm arrr but a little bit rare.

Waitress - Medium rare sir?

Mate - That's the one
 
One of my mates, whom shall remain nameless as he posts on here regularly thought that a TV announcer once said "Now showing on Channel 4 ... Derren Brown, Tricking the Blind" lol.

Ofc he actually said "Derren Brown - Trick of the Mind". :)
 
Was cruising around a supermarket carpark looking for a park with a few friends. The only ones available were the handicapped ones, and of course they were in prime position.

One of my friends chirped up: "Jeez it would be awesome to be handicapped".
 
Getting a few jars in the local before heading out to the airport for my mates stag do.
"I hope you packed the lube"
"No chance, I'm going in dry. It's your stag do, not your birthday"
 
monkeyspank said:
Getting a few jars in the local before heading out to the airport for my mates stag do.
"I hope you packed the lube"
"No chance, I'm going in dry. It's your stag do, not your birthday"
Click to expand...

My entire office is looking at me trying to work out why I'm crying with laughter! Absolute comedy gold.
 
Talking about Pi randomly to a friend when another mate walks in .... I'm saying "Yeah, so Pi is 3.142 ... " to which he interrupts and says "Thats bloody expensive for a pie" ...

Sad, but true.
 
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