A jump-lead walks into a bar...

[Blue Cypher]

2 Horses in a field.

A dog walks past, stops, turns to the Horses and says "Good Morning".

1 Horse turns to the other and says "**** me, a talking dog".

two muffins in an oven, one muffin goes "whoah its hot in here" the other muffin goes "AAAARRRRRGGGHHHH talkin muffin!"

 

[Lysander]

A snake slithers into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you." "Why not?" asks the snake. The bartender says, "because you can't hold your liquor."

 

[Nitefly]

Sophie Ellis Bextor walks into a bar, and the barman says "Why the rhomboid face?"

Haha, missed that one, classic

 

[Wiggins]

two sausages in a frying pan. one turns to the other and screams "awww its **** hot!
the others screams "awww a talking sausages"


i'll get my coat already booked the taxi.

I actually laughed at that.

Is there room in the Taxi?

 

[lemonkettaz]

a fish swims into a wall, dam

 

[Doohickey]

A Bolshevik walks into a menshevik bar and orders a beer.
The barman says: "We don’t serve Bolsheviks."

And the Bolshevik replies: "Oh but shortly you will. At the recent Party Conference, our faction seized control of the Politburo. All of Russia now belongs to us. The other Republics will follow swiftly. Also, your wife and children and currently being transported to a re-education camp in Novosibirsk."

 

[Lysander]

A Bolshevik walks into a menshevik bar and orders a beer.
The barman says: "We don’t serve Bolsheviks."

And the Bolshevik replies: "Oh but shortly you will. At the recent Party Conference, our faction seized control of the Politburo. All of Russia now belongs to us. The other Republics will follow swiftly. Also, your wife and children and currently being transported to a re-education camp in Novosibirsk."

I actually laughed.

 

[Wiggins]

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch, that hurt".

 

[Kreeeee]

A Woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre. So the barman gives her one.

I giggled a little.

 

[dustiestrat]

I actually laughed at that.

Is there room in the Taxi?

by the looks of the thread in general i think i should have booked a coach.

 

[Doohickey]

A blindman walks into a bar and orders a beer.
He says to the barman: "Lot of weather we’ve been having!"

The barman replies: "That’s not weather. The other patrons are pouring their drinks on you as well as spitting and urinating on you."

 

[dustiestrat]

that blindmans alpha he just brushes of walking into a bar without even flinching and orders a pint.

 

[Wiggins]

NEWSFLASH: Man in court for dog brutality.

The legendary John Smith who survived 3 bullets to his groin was today in court for shooting his pet dog whilst masturbating.

 

[LordSplodge]

Ban

Permaban

 

[montymint]

epic fail, apart from the bexter one. That made me chuckle.

 

[Space Monkey]

Man goes in a bar, What are mangoes doing in a bar!

 

[uber soldat]

Do you guys all share the same Christmas crackers?

 

[Mr^B]

How is a jump lead going to start anything without an effective power source (such as another car)?

You'd need two jump leads as well, not just one, otherwise the circuit wouldn't be complete.

How does a jump lead walk? Surely if it moved at all it would probably slither.

/bored

 

[Wiggins]

Man goes in a bar, What are mangoes doing in a bar!

 

[West]

Gotta admit, i laughed, and I told a mate as well...

...whats that? Taxi for Lysander?