Why can't parents discipline their kids by means of a slap?

MookJong said:
If you were smacked as a child and it did you no harm - you probably will smack your own children.

If you were not smacked as a child and it did you no harm - you probably won't smack your own children.
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Seems to be the general concensus. I dont have kids, but if I did id keep physical discipline for the most severe of cases....
i.e. "slap" dont put your fingers in the plug socket....

Most other things I think can be dealt with by other means, if you have the time, patience and willingness to carry out threats. (non violent of course)
 
Nebzor said:
You THINK it teaches them that violence is an acceptable way to do things, yet if you ask the majority of people who were smacked as a child, I can almost guarantee they won't think "To get this to happen, I must smack people!"

And you do realise that most children won't know what it is like to be smacked (until they are smacked) and so they don't know how they are making the other person feel?
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It does teach them that, it also teaches them that violence is acceptable. It amazes me how you slap an adult and it's assualt but yet you hit a defenseless child and it's ok. Something is wrong there.

If you have to hit a child as a form of discipline then something isn't right in my opinion, it isn't necessary.
 
matt_fsr said:
Seems to be the general concensus. I dont have kids, but if I did id keep physical discipline for the most severe of cases....
i.e. "slap" dont put your fingers in the plug socket....

Most other things I think can be dealt with by other means, if you have the time, patience and willingness to carry out threats. (non violent of course)
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I was smacked as a child but don't smack my children. It isn't right in my opinion and there are plenty of ways to teach a child right from wrong. I started early and always talked and explained everything, I've posted about this before and I have no problems with them at all.
 
Ricochet J said:
When all means of addressing a wrong having failed a slap is probably the best method of teaching them a lesson.

Take this example:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7558764.stm

Not too long ago disciplining your child by means of a slap was suitable. When it did it become an unsatisfactory way of teaching the child a lesson?
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Always, would you like a giant to give you a slap when he/she deems you to have misbehaved?
 
JodieG said:
It does teach them that, it also teaches them that violence is acceptable. It amazes me how you slap an adult and it's assualt but yet you hit a defenseless child and it's ok. Something is wrong there.

If you have to hit a child as a form of discipline then something isn't right in my opinion, it isn't necessary.
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As I've already said, you THINK it teaches them that. How you can say that those who were smacked when younger are lying when they say they don't fix everything with violence is beyond me.

There is also quite a difference between an attempt to cause harm on an individual and teaching a young child that their behavior is unacceptable via use of a slap on the back of the legs/bum which has no lasting effect whatsoever.
 
JodieG said:
... and there are plenty of ways to teach a child right from wrong.
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Agree, but my point is that there are some circumstances where if you have violence as a total last resort, a child will and rightly should understand that its a VERY important thing to listen to.

I could live with my child drawing on wallpaper, general misbehaving etc without the need to slap them. When its something like running into roads without looking (and ive seen that happen plenty!) a slap should be used to really get the message across! There might not BE another chance to discipline the child if they dont learn it the first time.
 
at the end of the day, if you wasnt physically disciplined when you was a child you wouldnt really know what a child will "learn" from it.

like fubsy i was beaten quite abit when i was in the wrong and i too have a "not so smart" brother that got away with everything when he was young.

just my 2p
 
Personally I dont think there is a blanket answer to whether or not its effective to smack a child.

Every child is different, every child responds in a different way to different methods of upbringing. Whats right for one child will not necessarily be right for another child. If there was an easy right/wrong way to do it then every parent would be able to just go out and buy a Parenting for Dummies manual and bring up perfect children. Reality just isnt that simple.

I have a 2 year old daughter, usually she will respond very well to a variety of non-physical discipline (sending to bed, sitting on the bottom step of the stairs, removal of toy etc etc)...but in very rare cases we do smack her on the leg as a discipline measure. (most recently it was during a trip to Longleat when she insisted on sticking her arm out of the car window at the animals)

But what works for one child doesnt always work for another. As most parents will tell you, there is no easy perfect way to bring up a child, its not an easy task in life (more is the pity that there are so many young folk who think raising children IS easy, but thats a whole nother debate)

**Just for records sake, I was smacked (leg) when I was young, I like to think I came out as a well mannered, sensible adult who prefers to settle problems with words rather than fists.**
 
snail1 said:
Wolly liberal comment ahead.

I will never hit my son to discpline him. In my opinion, it only teaches children that violence is a way to solve problems and impose respect.

There are far easier ways to discpline any child: they all want things it may be a toy, or a food treat such as ice cream etc. Denying them these pleasures is carries far more influence on their behaviour. The key is to follow through with your threats and keeping your discpline. Smacking is, again in my opinion, just a excuse for lazy parenting, as the other tehcniques require far more work.
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I've never understood this argument. When I was little I maybe had my arse slapped 2 or 3 times by my dad when I truly deserved it. This hasn't taught me that when I have a problem, I should go and beat up everyone involved with the problem. I fully understand I deserved it and in my opinion it was the right thing to do. (The only smack I remember was when I had spent 20 or so minutes screaming that nobody loved me and I hated everyone and all of my family because I didn't get my own way... never did it again!)

Is it me or are most of the people saying it is ok actually people who have had a slap off their parents afew times and understand what it taught them now they are older?
 
Corran said:
I've never understood this argument. When I was little I maybe had my arse slapped 2 or 3 times by my dad when I truly deserved it. This hasn't taught me that when I have a problem, I should go and beat up everyone involved with the problem. I fully understand I deserved it and in my opinion it was the right thing to do. (The only smack I remember was when I had spent 20 or so minutes screaming that nobody loved me and I hated everyone and all of my family because I didn't get my own way... never did it again!)

Is it me or are most of the people saying it is ok actually people who have had a slap off their parents afew times and understand what it taught them now they are older?
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I think one important thing is that there is no one correct way to bring up Children and you are correct, not everyone who is smacked then goes onto solve problems with violence. My only comment was that, in my opinion, smacking only leads to negative reinforcement and can give children the wrong message about conflict resolution (told you I was a liberal:)) Other, non-violent methods can give the same and even better results. But, this is just my opinion.
 
Corran said:
Is it me or are most of the people saying it is ok actually people who have had a slap off their parents afew times and understand what it taught them now they are older?
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spot on, I think as people if we have been disciplined with a smack as kids we have more right to comment on the feasability of it as a punishment, as we have experienced it.
Obviously not everyone needs it, but some do, which is why it shouldnt be frowned upon.
 
fluffmct said:
If a parent hits a kid, they are telling their child that behaviour like that is acceptable.
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No, they are telling the child that the behaviour that prompted the punishment is NOT acceptable. Most kids will learn that lesson quite quickly.

The lack of corporal punishment in this country is the biggest and most direct cause of the breakdown of our society - kids don't have boundaries anymore and cannot be properly disciplined anymore by either parents, teachers or policemen. All because the bleeding-heart, hand-wringing liberals think that because they don't hit their children everyone else has to be forced to bring up their kids the same way.

:mad:
 
Excessive hitting makes the whole thing pointless. The kid becomes used to it and it becaomes meaningless.

The occasional slap in extreme cases can be effective as it is seen as the ultimate punishment.

Obviously i dont mean a full on right hook to the jaw, but enough so that they knew they had done wrong.
 
I was slapped as a child quite a lot as were my 2 sisters, we've all turned out alright as far as I can see. My oldest sister now has 3 children, when they misbehave they get shouted at, then if they don't stop she will count to 3 slowly & if they still do not stop then they will get a quick slap on the bum. It works very well in my opinion.

I believe if children really are being totally disrespectful or naughty then a quick slap to the bottom does no harm. I don't regret/feel angered cause of how my parents brought me up, if anything it taught me violence doesn't always solve problems.

Would I do it if & when I children? I think I would. Most likely in the same way my sister does it.
 
Your daughter will grow up one day and come to your bed room and say: Spank me daddy!
 
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