Funniest things your friends ever said...

sure i posted this before ahh well

Friend (aka NOT ME) said "what is solid water?"

Trying to think of powdered water haha
 
A selection of quotes from my housemate:

"You mean eskimos are real people!?"
"I thought the sun and the moon are the same thing... you never see them together"
"Don't eskimos come from Ireland?"

:D
 
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I have to share this one, a while back my gf asks:

GF: "So what exactly are Truffles?"
Me: "Not entirely sure but I think they are like mushrooms that grow underground"
GF: "Oh - I thought they were a type of animal"

Bless her little heart!! How I laughed! I've wound her up over this ever since :D
 
Driving back past a kebab van one night
me: "that woman working the kebab van looked alright looking"
mate 1: "nah shes got an ugly face"
me: "she might have a lot of inner beauty!"
mate 2: "turn her inside out and shes a ****ing stunner!"
 
Two customers came in for some car work, one male, one female, not "with" each other.
The girl was the most intelligent, fittest, witty, friendly girls that I've spoken to in work and about cars.. I was chatting, as you do ;) and we got on really well, she could handle a screw driver, got her own car on and off the trailer, was almost a girl of one's dreams in my line of work..

So I finish up and head to the office...
How or why I don't know but I piped up with

"can you do an invoice for these gentlemen please"

I nearly died :(
 
Not a bash, but a gentlre ribbing for Nix here :

Nix said:
lol, very good.
A subtle thing I don't know if everyone picked up on or not, is that Germany doesn't even have a coastline. It's a land-locked country.

- I'm pretty sure the majority of you know that though :)
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And one from me many years ago :

"Can you buy rubber screws, you know to stop my hard drive from rattling" hehe
 
Found this amusing at the time, got to macdonalds drive through ordered some food & they asked what drink we'd like, one of my friends says "i'll have a fanta with no ice cause i'm allergic to water" cue the drive through people looking blankly wondering what he'd just said.


[he knew what he said he was trying to throw them off]
 
"Want to get naked and connect"

"I love men"

"Dog food is the babes" - "chappie dog meat is the only dug meat"

"I'm young enough to be your son - so we should get naked and connect" - not directed at me

"Joesph Fritzl is a legend he deserves an OBE"

'lubricant is cheating dont use it'

Maybe not the funniset but certianly random
 
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In the car on the motorway:

Sister: "you know the rumble strips at the side of the road, are they there to warn blind people they are veering off the road? ...er wait, forget I just asked that"
 
Helios1234 said:
After playing some Dead or Alive, my friend commented on one of the characters saying "they're not asian, they're Japanese". He went on to say the same thing on several other occasions.
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That kinda thing happened to me:

Mate: You're not British, you're Welsh!

Me: *facepalm*

(I'm Welsh btw)
 
In holland on a holiday at a restaurant to a waiter:

Mate: Got any red sauce?

Waiter: Sorry?

Mate: Red sauce...

Waiter: Sorry sir I do not understand.. Red sauce?

Mate: YES! Ummm.. you know.. ketchup?!

Waiter: Ohhhh OK ketchup! Anything else?

Mate: Mayonaise?

Waiter: Sorry?

Mate: Mayonaise???

Waiter: Ohhh, you mean white sauce! No probs!
 
all from the same guy...

what day is it tonight?

the biggest great white shark was caught off (the coast of) the czech republic

I'm not drink yet you know...i mean drank
 
Chinook said:
all from the same guy...

what day is it tonight?

the biggest great white shark was caught off (the coast of) the czech republic

I'm not drink yet you know...i mean drank
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yea but was he drank? because i've say some pretty stupid things when i'm is been drink before!

* hiccup *
 
Mate last night managed "You know they should make a fork with a knife bit on it!"
Me "yeah they do, i called it a nork, i had one when i broke my elbow"
Mate "OOO iv got an even better idea!"
Me "yeah the spoon was included too steve...."
 
This amused me a few minutes ago. (I realise i also spelt woman wrong by the way before some bright spark mentions it!:p)

messengeryj4.jpg
 
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