It's irrelevant, she was talking about touching the guy's penis and making it erect. Prior to this she asked the OP to leave the room (or whatever). I find it quite odd that you can't see how this might be a relationship breaker for some people.
Girlfriend "cheats" on me in our engagement party
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It's irrelevant, she was talking about touching the guy's penis and making it erect. Prior to this she asked the OP to leave the room (or whatever). I find it quite odd that you can't see how this might be a relationship breaker for some people.
the doubt of what?
she flirted with a few guys to make the op jealous, its not like she unzipped their flies and made like she was starring in a porno
Agreed.
So what? She could have ended up like that! Who knows? How could you trust someone when they want to give other men, stiffys?
I don’t think it’s quite that clear-cut, she wanted him to act out of his initiative so told him to do the opposite of what she wanted. It’s very common in drunken behaviour, people quite often isolate themselves when what they really want is company. In this case, she projected a desire to be on her own and misbehave when in reality she wanted her fiancée to come and show that he wants her.
This is, however, the type of behaviour that denotes the difference between men and women.
I wouldn’t be so sure of my presumptions if it weren’t the case that it was clearly a public display of insecurity, had this been an isolated and secret matter that was unravelled the motive would have definitely been of a different nature. It’s very uncommon for people that want to cheat to make that behaviour clear to their significant other.
Hope you see where I’m coming from here. It’s a lot easier to talk someone through it than try to type it!
Myeah.
I may have good female insight on this but indeed it is not the thing to be doing, and CERTAINLY NOT at the engagement party!
But as mentioned, I have said things I have regretted when very drunk. Things I wouldn't have remembered without being told. Things I would never have said in my right mind.
I do feel for her. Really do. But nnnngh, complicated.
I may have good female insight on this but indeed it is not the thing to be doing, and CERTAINLY NOT at the engagement party!
But as mentioned, I have said things I have regretted when very drunk. Things I wouldn't have remembered without being told. Things I would never have said in my right mind.
I do feel for her. Really do. But nnnngh, complicated.
she was saying such things to provoke a reaction from the op, except he sounds too laid back and didn't cotton on
lol she was saying it to wind the op up which didn't work, surely you can see that?
So two options.
1) She scared
2) She really doens't want to be with you. (for whatever reason).
It's important you find out which, because number 2 = no point being with her, whilst number 1 = at least giving her a chance to explain why, and if you can still be together.
Quick question.. how often do you go out with her to places like this and have fun together?
1) She scared
2) She really doens't want to be with you. (for whatever reason).
It's important you find out which, because number 2 = no point being with her, whilst number 1 = at least giving her a chance to explain why, and if you can still be together.
Quick question.. how often do you go out with her to places like this and have fun together?
Soldato
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Right so the kissing is "irrelevant" now it's been re-established that it was he that was kissed her, not the other way around, so on that basis your prepared to end the relationship based on her strange behaviour before hand were she was blatantly trying to make him jealous, crazy seriously.
She hasn't cheated, she was drunk, she made a mistake, relationships aren't perfect, work through it, don't give up.
I really can't believe people give up on relationships so easily.
<shakes head in dismay>
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I'd just like to point out that I haven't advised the OP to break up with her.
Just because she was trying to make him jealous doesn't justify what she did. Shock horror some people might want to re-evaluate their situation if their partner went on to the dance floor with every intention of feeling another mans penis and making it hard. I'm not saying everoyne wouldn't be able to work passed it, but for some people that would be a relationship breaker and quite understandably so.
I wish the OP every luck in resolving this. People do make mistakes but ones that involve feeling up other people while knowing full well what their doing shouldn't be taken lightly.
Ah right fair enough, that totally justifies what she did. Shame on the OP for forcing her hand
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This is a though one.
I caught your post very early on and was thinking about it myself through lunchtime. Me personally, I would most likely to forgive. But forgetting will be much harder, especially when similar situations come up in the future.
For example, if she's having hens do - with the same friends. This is something that would bother me and would probably keep me unsettled throughout. Can she not do it again? Will she say no to a drink etc. Forgiving is one thing, but if you are going to remember this again and again with each situation then it will put a big strain on everything.
Trust is very very hard to form in the first place, very easy to break and the hardest is to rebuild it if broken. A lot of it will depend on you too. Can you forget as well as forgive?
As few others have asked, roughly how long have you been together? What age group are you?
I caught your post very early on and was thinking about it myself through lunchtime. Me personally, I would most likely to forgive. But forgetting will be much harder, especially when similar situations come up in the future.
For example, if she's having hens do - with the same friends. This is something that would bother me and would probably keep me unsettled throughout. Can she not do it again? Will she say no to a drink etc. Forgiving is one thing, but if you are going to remember this again and again with each situation then it will put a big strain on everything.
Trust is very very hard to form in the first place, very easy to break and the hardest is to rebuild it if broken. A lot of it will depend on you too. Can you forget as well as forgive?
As few others have asked, roughly how long have you been together? What age group are you?
Soldato
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Just because she was trying to make him jealous doesn't justify what she did. Shock horror some people might want to re-evaluate their situation if their partner went on to the dance floor with every intention of feeling another mans penis and making it hard. I'm not saying everoyne wouldn't be able to work passed it, but for some people that would be a relationship breaker and quite understandably so.
I wish the OP every luck in resolving this. People do make mistakes but ones that involve feeling up other people while knowing full well what their doing shouldn't be taken lightly.
Ah right fair enough, that totally justifies what she did. Shame on the OP for forcing her hand
Nobody's saying that it justifies what she did but I think killing the relationship off over this incident is a little brash that's all, just go home and argue about like normal people and kiss and make up, dam it's not like she's gotten away with it, she's been in tears over it, she now probably thinks she's lost the love of her life, all becuase of a drunken mistake, I'm sorry but she's suffered enough tbh.
I agree it shouldn't be taken lightly but at the same time things shouldn't be blown out of proportion either.
I've said my bit now I'm not going to repeat myself, I respect your view on this but I disagree, I guess at the end of the day it's different for everyone.
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if that was really her intention she would have done it, she didn't, she didn't even let another bloke snog her when he tried to, it was all an act to make the op jealous
Ah right fair enough, that totally justifies what she did. Shame on the OP for forcing her hand
the only thing she has done wrong is to test the op this way, I wasn't trying to justify her little games or criticising the op but merely saying that he didn't cotton on or react
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Flirting and grinding for 30 mins is going to make what she told the op would happen a reality.
Fair enough, though I've not advised the OP to drop her so I'm not sure what you're disagreeing with
. I'm just saying I can see why some people would.
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I think if she wanted that to really happen then she would have done it, instead she kept asking the op if he was jealous, I think that shows her intentions were purely to get a reaction from the op
Well first of all. You not pulling her away didn't help things. Showed that you didn't care for her.
Second she was kinda out of line, but the way she acted the morning after does show she wants to change for good. She obviously cares for you and i think your being a bit harsh on her. Never the less you should be a bit cautious of the moves you make now if you want/dont want to be with her.
Second she was kinda out of line, but the way she acted the morning after does show she wants to change for good. She obviously cares for you and i think your being a bit harsh on her. Never the less you should be a bit cautious of the moves you make now if you want/dont want to be with her.