Girlfriend "cheats" on me in our engagement party

Please pick the advice you take from this thread carefully.

There is so much more depth to this than what it presents at face value. This is a case of acting out and should not be mistaken for common cheating. She went about getting her point across the wrong way, fair enough.

Please don't go with the majority on this one, it's easy to label a situation and look no further. There are a lot of comments being made from people who are emotionally attached to the circumstance and not the means.

I know it probably hurts but it only does because you’re associating it with mistrust. It’s honestly not. I can’t really make my point any clearer, look through my older posts and be suggestive to the point they are making. I’m not on anyone’s side. I just think you could be avoiding what is best for you both.
 
HarryPainful said:
Yes she would.

Your a fool if you stay with her.

These posts about being alpha and hitting the guy she kiss/kiss her.. she provoked this, nothing to do with him, that's not alpha is called being a **** and taking out your frustration/anger/whatever on someone else because you cannot deal with the problem, the woman that caused it all.
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You cant say yes she would, if he loves her and she loves him, it would be churlish to throw it all away for the sake of one drunken night, she never slept with anyone, just acted stupid.

If my wife did that i would be extremely upset, but would it be worth throwing it all away, in my opinion, no.
 
At the begining of our relationship Something bad happened in my family life and I suddenly became homeless and jobless... I didnt tell her at first but soon as she found out - rather than being put off me she did everything to try and help me - took me to live with her mum and dad etc. Again when I was made reddundent from my job recently she tried everything to try and help me out - offering money etc (didnt take a penny from her). Shes always been there for me and has always bent over backwards... shes always been so loving in an unconditional way. I also feel she needs me too - I feel I give stability and emotional support which she gets from me. We both work together well in the things we do in life. Sure We both not perfect - shes got a little temper (she got annoyed with her SE phone once - smashed it into peices - temper goes as short as it comes and never normally directed at me.
 
I have only read the OP, so not sure where this has gone. But I feel for you, my GF is a ****ing nightmare when she is drunk.

We had an argument a few weeks back when she was drunk and she clawed at my face, I ended up with a 3 inch cut down my face and blood everywhere. Then she smashed my head into the kitchen cupboards whilst I was trying to get a drink.

Alcohol + Unstable GF = 4TL
 
lowrider007 said:
Look the problem is that we disagree with the definition of cheating for starters, look this is what she said too him,

"Then she turns to me and says " Im going to have a dance... Im going to find a man and feel his ****! How does that make you feel?" I show no reaction so she says " aint you jellous... Im going give him a s***fy"."

My god read between the lines, personally I would have just played along with her and thought up something on the fly to reply to her with, chances are she wouldn't of ended up on the dance floor and instead I would be snogging my GF or taking her home, it's as simple as that, but it all depends on how she said it, and how she reacts to what I say to her, it's hard to judge 100% without actually being there, I don't plan things out, I just go with the flow, and in that instance I think I would have played the jealous BF that wants his baby.
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Some kind of weird role play?! We are viewing this very differently. I see it as an actual attempt to upset the bf, you see it as a game. I guess it depends on what the OP thinks.

ScarySquirrel said:
I have only read the OP, so not sure where this has gone. But I feel for you, my GF is a ****ing nightmare when she is drunk.

We had an argument a few weeks back when she was drunk and she clawed at my face, I ended up with a 3 inch cut down my face and blood everywhere. Then she smashed my head into the kitchen cupboards whilst I was trying to get a drink.

Alcohol + Unstable GF = 4TL
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:eek:
 
ScarySquirrel said:
I have only read the OP, so not sure where this has gone. But I feel for you, my GF is a ****ing nightmare when she is drunk.

We had an argument a few weeks back when she was drunk and she clawed at my face, I ended up with a 3 inch cut down my face and blood everywhere. Then she smashed my head into the kitchen cupboards whilst I was trying to get a drink.

Alcohol + Unstable GF = 4TL
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sounds like you got your ass kicked off your woman man. not very alpha.
 
300px-WookieGoldberg.jpg
tbh
 
I agree with the test arguement.

My gf did a similar thing to me once. I don;t really get mad or wound up about things eg very laid back.

She said she did it to see if I would react.

The theory being (rightly or wrongly) that if I didn't react then I didn't care about her = I didn;t love her.

Not saying that its a nice test or a fair one but you have to ask yourself, how bothered were you about it? Okay it upset you enough to dump her but is that just cause you are disgusted at what she did?

My point is, and I am not sure I am been clear enough, that you have to look to see how you feel about what she did. If it didn't hurt you like hell then perhap she is right, she is not the one for you and you should move on.

BTW, just for the record me and my gf and still together happy 15 years on.
 
ScarySquirrel said:
I have only read the OP, so not sure where this has gone. But I feel for you, my GF is a ****ing nightmare when she is drunk.

We had an argument a few weeks back when she was drunk and she clawed at my face, I ended up with a 3 inch cut down my face and blood everywhere. Then she smashed my head into the kitchen cupboards whilst I was trying to get a drink.

Alcohol + Unstable GF = 4TL
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:eek: Just :eek:

Not wishing to de-rail the thread into "Omg my GF beats me" but the only step up from that is "then she slipped me some rohypnol and took advantage".

That's bad squirrel, my EX was also a ****ing pscyho once she had a few to drink. It either turned her into some psychotic witch hell bent on destroying everything/everyone or a randy minx.

Of course I gambled a few times and prayed the second personna would emmerge, unfortunatley I'm not always so lucky :p
 
Hmm, an odd one. On the one hand you're throwing away an engagement/marriage for a drunken fumble/mouth off, which would indicate that it was no kind of marriage to begin with (honestly, who would throw away a life partner over a drunken dance/attitude???).
On the other she's a decade younger than you and may or may not want to sleep with someone else, or get some kind of reaction out of you for some reason, or something (who knows, people are weird, and generally weirder and more honest with it when they're drunk).

If there's an underlying reason, or a running theme in her actions which would indicate to you that it's doomed then do away with her. If it was a drunken one off and nothing more then you would be a fully fledged retard to react by throwing away a marriage.
 
Knubje said:
:eek: Just :eek:

Not wishing to de-rail the thread into "Omg my GF beats me" but the only step up from that is "then she slipped me some rohypnol and took advantage".

That's bad squirrel, my EX was also a ****ing pscyho once she had a few to drink. It either turned her into some psychotic witch hell bent on destroying everything/everyone or a randy minx.

Of course I gambled a few times and prayed the second personna would emmerge, unfortunatley I'm not always so lucky :p
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Yeah, it wasn't fun.

I had to pretend I cut my face at football when I went into work on Monday, lol.
 
Vegetarian said:
At the begining of our relationship Something bad happened in my family life and I suddenly became homeless and jobless... I didnt tell her at first but soon as she found out - rather than being put off me she did everything to try and help me - took me to live with her mum and dad etc. Again when I was made reddundent from my job recently she tried everything to try and help me out - offering money etc (didnt take a penny from her). Shes always been there for me and has always bent over backwards... shes always been so loving in an unconditional way. I also feel she needs me too - I feel I give stability and emotional support which she gets from me. We both work together well in the things we do in life. Sure We both not perfect - shes got a little temper (she got annoyed with her SE phone once - smashed it into peices - temper goes as short as it comes and never normally directed at me.
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Dude.

All of the above is too much to throw away.

Do you love her? Do you miss her?

I realise you're upset - but if you didn't care for her, and she you, as much as you obviously do - then you simply wouldn't be so bothered, and all of this would be easy.

Explain to her how upset you are. I think you're more disappointed than angry, are you? Tell her. If you haven't already. Make it clear how much it hurt.

BUT I agree with some other posters - it would be a shame to lose something so good over something so brief.

Talk to some of the most long-term happily-married people you know - they will all have had dodgy moments. It's because they've worked through them that they're happy and still together.
 
sara said:
Dude.

All of the above is too much to throw away.

Do you love her? Do you miss her?

I realise you're upset - but if you didn't care for her, and she you, as much as you obviously do - then you simply wouldn't be so bothered, and all of this would be easy.

Explain to her how upset you are. I think you're more disappointed than angry, are you? Tell her. If you haven't already. Make it clear how much it hurt.

BUT I agree with some other posters - it would be a shame to lose something so good over something so brief.

Talk to some of the most long-term happily-married people you know - they will all have had dodgy moments. It's because they've worked through them that they're happy and still together.
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We live in the same house! We have talked loads and will keep talking - the one thing Ive hit on is why she did it and she does not know.

Im both disappointed and angry but Im keeping my anger under wraps. Im actually devistated :(
 
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