Mates/girl trouble (apologies for the long post)

Anyone in Leeds able to go and slap anksta out of this? Dude seriously, grow a pair. It's not the worst thing to happen to anyone by a long mile. I'm not forgiving your mate, but you let your feelings run away from you and you've learnt the hard way. The fact of the matter is, this isn't the real issue here is it? There's something else. I'm not going to say what it is but I have my suspicions.

Anksta, I do mean this but if you need to chat frankly, add me on the MSN (remove spaces): in _ the _ nix [at] hotmail . com
 
Nix said:
Anyone in Leeds able to go and slap anksta out of this? Dude seriously, grow a pair. It's not the worst thing to happen to anyone by a long mile. I'm not forgiving your mate, but you let your feelings run away from you and you've learnt the hard way. The fact of the matter is, this isn't the real issue here is it? There's something else. I'm not going to say what it is but I have my suspicions.

Anksta, I do mean this but if you need to chat frankly, add me on the MSN (remove spaces): in _ the _ nix [at] hotmail . com
Click to expand...

What's the real issue then?
 
I went through something extremely similar once when I shared a house with a bunch of mates.
Everybody knew I liked her, it'd been talked about openly, but one of my 'mates' ended up bedding her, then he tried to hide it for days because he didn't have the bottle to tell me.
The rest of the house was on my side, I had the option to get him ejected, but I didn't because he'd have had to go back to Wales and I knew the girl really liked him and at the end of the day it wasn't her fault I didn't do anything, so I wasn't going to dick her over just for revenge on him. Especially seeing as she'd had a really tough year running up to it.
My main issue was that he didn't say anything in the run-up, nor straight afterwards, we had to share a house which made it much worse.
I expect my friends to do me the courstesy of at least a warning in that sort of situation, if they don't have the gumption to face up to me for the sake of our friendship, then they simply aren't much of a friend in the first place.

Forget him, he's no friend, she probably should've known better, but she's still done nothing wrong really.
That's my tuppence.
 
Changed my mind, him saying that after the event is just rubbing your face in it.

Don't hang your head though, go back and act like everything's fine with her, and if you're annoyed at him, show it, but don't be a pussy about it.
 
Nix said:
Anyone in Leeds able to go and slap anksta out of this? Dude seriously, grow a pair. It's not the worst thing to happen to anyone by a long mile. I'm not forgiving your mate, but you let your feelings run away from you and you've learnt the hard way. The fact of the matter is, this isn't the real issue here is it? There's something else. I'm not going to say what it is but I have my suspicions.

Anksta, I do mean this but if you need to chat frankly, add me on the MSN (remove spaces): in _ the _ nix [at] hotmail . com
Click to expand...


I appreciate the gesture mate thanks. I know I have other issues that are making this more serious than it might be but that doesnt change anythin. I've struggled with a lot of things before but I've always had my mate to come and talk to and he always listened even if I'd said the exact same thing a million times.

I hate feelin sorry for myself but I really feel proper lost at the minute and dont know what to do.

She just txt me then sayin that they'd talk and she wants to talk to me but I cant bare the thought of them 2 talkin about it like its not even a big deal.
 
Wait till your lease expires and move out, forget about both of them.

The girl obviously doesn't like you enough to think that sleeping with your mate isn't a good idea.

The guy obviously puts his crotch before your friendship...bro's before hoe's is bull****, if he's that good a friend you wouldn't be here asking. Once you leave uni you'll most likely not talk to most of these people again so go your own way now and save the hassle.
 
anksta said:
never brought back a girl in my entire life and never smacked anybody either.

And my balls are massive, that dosent mean I can only express emotion in violence.
Click to expand...

Try it, if you dont people will walk over you all your life, threaten him and sound angry, whats stopping him doing it again, you dont have to be tough to be threatening/
 
I had this happen, although I didn't live with the people in question.

Pretty much what happened was a mate and I both met this girl at the same time and he told me he liked her so I backed off. They both hung out together and it was clear to everyone that she saw him as a friend (which from what you have said is the case in your situation as well).

After nearly a year in which nothing had happened between them I finally went in there and got her myself, I did talk to the guy first and got his permission but it still caused no end of trouble and we arn't really friends any more.

From my perspective it seemed a bit off for my friend to demand I put my hapiness on the backburner so he could wallow in his dead end crush. Saying that I'm not sure I would have gone out with her if he hadn't given me permission first.
 
Go home anksta :) Doesnt matter what anyone there thinks, you shouldnt be inconvenienced cause your mate is a prat..
 
Yeah, go home and make things awkward for THEM. Have some other friends over be loud, inconsiderate etc etc. Play vid games on full whack.
 
Beat the **** out of him, vent your frustration. Tell him EXACTLY why you're rather miffed at him afterwards over a pint, and hope he has a bloody good apology.

Old fashioned way:p ^

( And owes you one free sex (with girl)when he has a gf next - repayment tbh )
 
Last edited:
Killa_ken said:
Yeah, go home and make things awkward for THEM. Have some other friends over be loud, inconsiderate etc etc. Play vid games on full whack.
Click to expand...

I literally have one other friend in Leeds and shes just gone back to Huddersfield. This is our 4th year, we're whats left, I maybe had 3 other friends here last year and they've all gone.
 
Honesty is the best policy.. dont bottle your feelings up. I think you should speak to your mate and ask him if it meant anything to him or if he was just fulfilling a need. If he truly cares about her and wishes to take the relationship further then ask him why he didnt tell you earlier when you were talking about how much you liked her. If he says she was just a fling..then ask why on earth he did that as he knew you liked her. Roll up a newspaper, smack him on the nose and firmly say NO.
If he really likes her, he didnt deal with it in the best way by not telling you how he felt but to be honest, fair game as you didnt make your move and who she sees is your choice.
Either way, I dont think what he did was very nice and I certainly wouldnt do it to one of my friends but women will come and go, your friends will be there for life.. and after a relationship one always feels like they wont find anyone they connect with or like so much again.. but Im telling you that you will so dont let her get you down too much and dont lose your friend over this. Just speak to him, clear the air, see where you stand in relation to this woman and either make your move if hes not interested or move on.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom