A really helpful thread with invaluable tips for life.

[neoboy]

I once sneezed into a red pepper jar, the blowback was rather immense. As was the pain in my eyes.

 

[platinum87]

i once saw someone spit into an ashtray (full of ash)

as you know you spit air under high pressure, result = ash in the eyes....

was funny as hell..

if you need to spit in the pub, spit on the floor

 

[something_totally_different]

least you didnt go for a full on tommy tank. would not have been pleasant.

 

[Tefal]

as you know you spit air under high pressure, result = ash in the eyes....

I ten d to spit, spit rather than just blow :/


Never once got ash in my eyes(or even out of the tray for that mater) from spitting in an ash tray.

 

[drunkenmaster]

I heated up some chinese and some sweet and sour sauce from the night before. I walked into the dining room with the pot of sauce in one hand, and in that hand I also had, between two fingers, an open magazine hanging down vertically.

I went to flop the magazine sideways to put it down and poured a pot of sticky sauce that had just been microwaved for two minutes all over the back of my hand... The flesh just instantly parted, and I ended up in hospital the next morning to have it seen to and dressed.

They all thought it was hilarious, he went and got his mates and everything.

ouch, but funny, its not quite the classic comedy moment though. Thats reserved for asking someone the time if they are holding a cup of coffee and watching them throw it on themselves as they tip their wrist (andy dick on Newsradio is the best example of it ever).

 

[Pestilence]

Being a huge hot sauce fan I've had my fair share of this kind of situation. It really is the worst taking a whizz while your fingers still have some hot sauce residue on them....ARRRGH!

A friend of mine once scratched his balls while his hands were covered in clove oil. Apparently that's pretty hideous too.

 

[Tefal]

A friend of mine once scratched his balls while his hands were covered in clove oil. Apparently that's pretty hideous too.

~Why does he not scratch through the pants, a simple safety measure all hot sauce lovers learn sooner or later

 

[Meridian]

milk is good for soothing all sorts of burns and minor skin problems....

Its fat content soothes burns and promotes healing. But make sure to rinse your skin and the washcloth in cool water afterward, because the milk will smell, and you dont want your groin to smell of crusty milk.

Do not put milk on normal burns; use running cold water. It works on chilli burns because capsaicin is not soluble in water, but is soluble in fats - such as those found in milk.


M

 

[V4NT0M]

Dirty people, putting your hands down your pants....

 

[ScarySquirrel]

Did the same last night. Cooked a chilli then went out for drinks, and I rubbed my eyes, followed by pain.

 

[Tefal]

Did the same last night. Cooked a chilli then went out for drinks, and I rubbed my eyes, followed by pain.

Should have thrown your beer in your face

 

[singist]

i once saw someone spit into an ashtray (full of ash)

as you know you spit air under high pressure, result = ash in the eyes....

was funny as hell..

if you need to spit in the pub, spit on the floor

Or be civilised and go to the gents ........ I can't believe that people would gob in an ash tray .... ffs!