Todays bad joke

The Judge

The Judge

The Judge

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A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy odered a whiskey. The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.

He replied in disgust 'I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!'

Paddy handed his drink back & said 'Me too, I didnt know we had a choice!':D





/gets coat
 
An American soldier was on duty in Sweden. He took a Swedish gal out to the movies. They settled in, started some light petting, and the American says, "Now in America we call this hamburger."

The gal says, "Yah, yah vee call dis hamburger in Svedin, too."

The movie continues and they go a little further.

The American says, "Now in America, we call this pastrami."

The gal says, "Yah, yah vee call dis pastrami in Svedin too."

They decide to leave the movie and go park. They get in the back seat and really go at it.

Afterwards, the American says, "Now in America we call this a sandwich."

The gal says, "Yah yah, vee call dis a sandvich in Svedin too. Only we put a little more meat in it."
 
simulatorman said:
An American soldier was on duty in Sweden. He took a Swedish gal out to the movies. They settled in, started some light petting, and the American says, "Now in America we call this hamburger."

The gal says, "Yah, yah vee call dis hamburger in Svedin, too."

The movie continues and they go a little further.

The American says, "Now in America, we call this pastrami."

The gal says, "Yah, yah vee call dis pastrami in Svedin too."

They decide to leave the movie and go park. They get in the back seat and really go at it.

Afterwards, the American says, "Now in America we call this a sandwich."

The gal says, "Yah yah, vee call dis a sandvich in Svedin too. Only we put a little more meat in it."
Click to expand...

Go....just go...:(
 
A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'.

A spokesman for the channel said....

'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but we know that people in Abu Dhabi do'
 
A Deaf mute walks into pharmacy to buy condoms. He has difficulty communicating with pharmacist, and cannot see condoms on the shelf.

Frustrated, the deaf-mute finally unzips his pants, places his penis on the counter, and puts down a five pound note next to it.

The pharmacist unzips his pants, does the same as the deaf- mute, and then picks up both notes and stuffs them in his pocket. Exasperated, the deaf mute begins to curse the pharmacist wildly in sign language.

"Look," the pharmacist says, "if you can't afford to lose, you shouldn't bet."
 
simulatorman said:
A Deaf mute walks into pharmacy to buy condoms. He has difficulty communicating with pharmacist, and cannot see condoms on the shelf.

Frustrated, the deaf-mute finally unzips his pants, places his penis on the counter, and puts down a five pound note next to it.

The pharmacist unzips his pants, does the same as the deaf- mute, and then picks up both notes and stuffs them in his pocket. Exasperated, the deaf mute begins to curse the pharmacist wildly in sign language.

"Look," the pharmacist says, "if you can't afford to lose, you shouldn't bet."
Click to expand...

I liked that one.
 
simulatorman said:
A Deaf mute walks into pharmacy to buy condoms. He has difficulty communicating with pharmacist, and cannot see condoms on the shelf.

Frustrated, the deaf-mute finally unzips his pants, places his penis on the counter, and puts down a five pound note next to it.

The pharmacist unzips his pants, does the same as the deaf- mute, and then picks up both notes and stuffs them in his pocket. Exasperated, the deaf mute begins to curse the pharmacist wildly in sign language.

"Look," the pharmacist says, "if you can't afford to lose, you shouldn't bet."
Click to expand...

Not bad
 
The Judge said:
A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy odered a whiskey. The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.

He replied in disgust 'I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!'

Paddy handed his drink back & said 'Me too, I didnt know we had a choice!':D





[/SIZE]
Click to expand...


i like the way this muslim thinks
 
simulatorman said:
An American soldier was on duty in Sweden. He took a Swedish gal out to the movies. They settled in, started some light petting, and the American says, "Now in America we call this hamburger."

The gal says, "Yah, yah vee call dis hamburger in Svedin, too."

The movie continues and they go a little further.

The American says, "Now in America, we call this pastrami."

The gal says, "Yah, yah vee call dis pastrami in Svedin too."

They decide to leave the movie and go park. They get in the back seat and really go at it.

Afterwards, the American says, "Now in America we call this a sandwich."

The gal says, "Yah yah, vee call dis a sandvich in Svedin too. Only we put a little more meat in it."
Click to expand...

lol pretty good
 
shauncr91 said:
A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'.

A spokesman for the channel said....

'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but we know that people in Abu Dhabi do'
Click to expand...

That's quality :D
 
The seven dwarves are toiling away in their mine, when all of a sudden there's the rumble of stone & rubble as the shaft collapses about them. Stricken with panic, Snow White rushes over to the entrance of the shaft and shouts down for anyone still alive to answer her. Deep from in the darkness comes a shout "Everton to win the league!". "Right." Snow White thinks, "At least Dopey's still alive."
 
The phone rings at FBI headquarters. "Hello?"

"I'm calling to report my neighbour.
He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, FBI agents descend on the neighbor's house.
They search the shed where the firewood is kept.
Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana.
They swear at the neighbours and leave.

The phone rings at the neighbours house.
Hey, Adrian, did the FBI come?"

"Yep."

"Did they chop your firewood?"

"Yep."

"Great, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed."
 
simulatorman said:
An American soldier was on duty in Sweden. He took a Swedish gal out to the movies. They settled in, started some light petting, and the American says, "Now in America we call this hamburger."

The gal says, "Yah, yah vee call dis hamburger in Svedin, too."

The movie continues and they go a little further.

The American says, "Now in America, we call this pastrami."

The gal says, "Yah, yah vee call dis pastrami in Svedin too."

They decide to leave the movie and go park. They get in the back seat and really go at it.

Afterwards, the American says, "Now in America we call this a sandwich."

The gal says, "Yah yah, vee call dis a sandvich in Svedin too. Only we put a little more meat in it."
Click to expand...
Eh? That's not even a Joke.
 
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