Older men and Schoolgirls

Barks · 26 Feb 2009 at 15:15

Surely a better parent would bring the girl up so that she wouldn't dream of sleeping with some old creep in the first place?

Davey_Pitch · 26 Feb 2009 at 15:16

I work at an all girls school, and I can actually see how something like this could happen. Some of the 6th form girls who I know are 16 look and act so much older, they'll go out to clubs and get drunk and pull guys just like older girls would. It's not so hard to imagine that the guy could have met the girl in a club, thought she was close to 20, and only after becoming close to her did she disclose her proper age (assuming she does at all, I could imagine some girls not saying a thing for fear of being dumped by the older guy).

Add a couple of years onto the age of each of them, an 18 year old girl going out with a 33 year old bloke instantly doesn't sound so bad.

rsatd · 26 Feb 2009 at 15:17

[DOD]Asprilla;13577355 said:
I'd already started my post when you posted. You are exempted from my comment.

Oh, don't care about that, I am more interested in what you can actually do, granted I would not have this issue for a while yet, at 24, I think I am very unprepared for any children. But more interested what as a parent you can do?

Obviously trying to talk some sense into a 16 year old may or may not be that successful. So a backup plan is never a bad idea.

Hatter The Mad · 26 Feb 2009 at 15:18

Go to first new post Older men and Schoolgirls

I like both

uber soldat · 26 Feb 2009 at 15:19

rsatd said:
Oh, don't care about that, I am more interested in what you can actually do, granted I would not have this issue for a while yet, at 24, I think I am very unprepared for any children. But more interested what as a parent you can do?

Obviously trying to talk some sense into a 16 year old may or may not be that successful. So a backup plan is never a bad idea.

And the backup plan is to open a can of whoopass? Good plan :rolleyes:

PESolution · 26 Feb 2009 at 15:19

Hmm im a "keyboard warrior" for thinking that a 31 year old taking advantage of a 16 year old deserves to be taught a lesson. No more input in this thread for me, yawn

RDM · 26 Feb 2009 at 15:20

dirtydog said:
At what age would you be happy for your daughter to have sex?

Speaking as a father, probably in her late 20s only after she has been engaged to her paragon of a fiance who is an absolute gentleman. I may however be being a touch unrealistic here...

nex20 · 26 Feb 2009 at 15:20

I know what you mean davey pitch. I went out a fortnight ago with some of my mates and one of them saw her sister out whos only 17 and her friend is 16, they looked about 20.

Admiral Huddy · 26 Feb 2009 at 15:20

Well rightly or wrongly you can understand how it happens. Blokes aren't settling down as young as they did which means there are more available 35 year males and younger girls look older. I'm not sure I’d be able to tell a 16 year old in normal attire from a 26 year old. The only difference is the maturity of the girl and some are forced to be much older than what they really are from a young age. There is course the moral aspects and I think of my 15 year old daughter and shudder at this very thought of someone touching her at that age..

rsatd · 26 Feb 2009 at 15:22

uber soldat said:
And the backup plan is to open a can of whoopass? Good plan

Awesome reading skills Sherlock, have your :rolleyes:

back. Ok, il be nice and help you out:

I am asking what COULD you do that would NOT land you in prison

.

[DOD]Asprilla · 26 Feb 2009 at 15:24

rsatd said:
Oh, don't care about that, I am more interested in what you can actually do, granted I would not have this issue for a while yet, at 24, I think I am very unprepared for any children. But more interested what as a parent you can do?

Obviously trying to talk some sense into a 16 year old may or may not be that successful. So a backup plan is never a bad idea.

There isn't really much else you can do, so you'd better make sure you make a good job of it.

Basicall it boils down to:

- Stop them seeing each other - very difficult with just grounding, imprisonment is illegal and you can't jsut chuck them in a nunnery anymore.

- Chastity belt - not sure if they still do these, but if you start metal workclasses now I'm sure you'll be a dab hand by the time it's required.

- Batter him - illegal, and so is threatening him

- Batter her - illegal

- Talk to her about the situation - there is a chance of success, but then if she's got to this point already you might not be very successful. I think the whole point is to raise your kids in such a way as so avoid situations like this rather then wait to see if they arise then then deal with them.

uber soldat · 26 Feb 2009 at 15:25

rsatd said:
Awesome reading skills Sherlock, have your back. Ok, il be nice and help you out:

I am asking what COULD you do that would NOT land you in prison .

I think you will find it is your English skills that are lacking. The way you put it heavily implied that violence would be your preferred option, so have another :rolleyes:

and a

for good measure.

Rich_L · 26 Feb 2009 at 15:25

You can kick them out at 16!

Alternatively there's always doing a 'Fritzl'

RDM · 26 Feb 2009 at 15:25

rsatd said:
Awesome reading skills Sherlock, have your back. Ok, il be nice and help you out:

I am asking what COULD you do that would NOT land you in prison .

Other than talking to your daughter about it, very little. I suppose you could try grounding her, or banning her from seeing him but that seems to me to be a very good way of ruining your relationship with your daughter and possibly forcing her out.

dirtydog · 26 Feb 2009 at 15:27

Rich_L said:
You can kick them out at 16!

Alternatively there's always doing a 'Fritzl'

I do wonder if there isn't an element of jealousy, even if subconscious, among the most overprotective fathers.

Prophet · 26 Feb 2009 at 15:27

arknor said:
i would batter the guy if it was my daughter , not many people with kids would stand by and let some dirty old man take advantage of there child

I was 27 when I met my ex, she was 16. I thought she was nearer 20 and didnt find out her age till about 3 weeks later, by which time we had been out a few times and got on really well. If I had known then maybe I'd have not taken things further but I did and we had 4 years together, most of which was great.

Her parents were fine with my age once they had met me and even though we slpit over a year ago I stll see most of her family on a weekly basis.

I can understand a parent being protective but saying you'd batter someone is stupid especially without meeting the person in question.

platypus · 26 Feb 2009 at 15:28

dirtydog said:
I do wonder if there isn't an element of jealousy, even if subconscious, among the most overprotective fathers.

Jealousy amongst other things. Especially fathers with attractive young daughters.

rsatd · 26 Feb 2009 at 15:30

uber soldat said:
I think you will find it is your English skills that are lacking. The way you put it heavily implied that violence would be your preferred option, so have another and a for good measure.

Fine, that is marginally acceptable as a strange apology... I guess

.

LoadsaMoney · 26 Feb 2009 at 15:31

The way i see it is, if she wants it, you may as well give her it, as if not, someone else will.

phonemonkey · 26 Feb 2009 at 15:31

Orange Peel said:
I was 27 when I met my ex, she was 16. I thought she was nearer 20 and didnt find out her age till about 3 weeks later, by which time we had been out a few times and got on really well. If I had known then maybe I'd have not taken things further but I did and we had 4 years together, most of which was great.

Her parents were fine with my age once they had met me and even though we slpit over a year ago I stll see most of her family on a weekly basis.

I can understand a parent being protective but saying you'd batter someone is stupid especially without meeting the person in question.

I met my 17 (when I met them) partner when I was 23. 17's not that much different from 16, which isnt that different from 15 . . .

Except that I think it is. In my partners case, their maturity level made us compatable, and we continue to look for the same things out of our relationship, age really isn't an issue. Perhaps this girl is similarly mature? Without knowing the of them, and without knowing the in's and out's of their relationship passing judgement, particularly wishing physical harm, is a little premature.