Advice Needed

Nix

Nix

Nix

Soldato
Joined
26 Dec 2005
Posts
19,841
I graduated in September last year from university and since then, despite looking and literally having days of just posting generic cover-letters to as many people as possible; I'm yet to find any work or even an interview. This alone is obviously distressing.

Couple this with the fact I've had to move back home -- somewhere I desperately couldn't wait to leave and to never come back -- and am now living with people I find it very difficult to get along with. For lack of a better description: they're impossible. They think they're perfect, antagonise, and always point the finger. I've upset the status quo, and thus I've become the scapegoat. In short: they're selfish and hypocritical. This house is not a home, it's a warzone.

Things are coming to a head recently. The arguments have turned from small quarrels to full scale rows with my dad willing me to hit him, calling me any name he can think of and not listening to any reason. In an effort to provoke me the other night, he phoned the police to get them to kick me out but changed his mind after my mum asked him not to. While waiting for the police to turn up and trying to chill out, I could here them (mum, dad and brother 1) conspiring and seeking validation from each other for their stupid theories.

"Maybe he's got aspergers." [Thank you Skins!]

Despite me pointing out that reality is not a democracy, they just don't seem to get it. As far as they're concerned, I'm the problem not them. The reality is I'm not an ***hole and I'm very easy to get on with. I'm not wholly to blame here.

Anyway, you get the idea. I'm not happy here and it's only a matter of time before it gets worse... a lot worse. For the first time in my life I just attacked a wall in rage because I can't take it anymore. It would help if they listened to me, but they don't. The reality is they simply don't care as long as they're personally happy. This is a dysfunctional family.

Now, in a bid of final desperation I'm opening up my private life as I really need some practical advice if anyone can offer any. The "you need to move out" response is well versed by now and if only it was that simple. If I had somewhere to go, I'd be packing this very minute.

I don't have any friends I'm able to move in with (some are still at university, others live at home, for the others I can't really expect them to help me out -- especially with no job), I don't even have a job or means of transportation to get anywhere. My options seem to be: stay here or move into some poor housing next to drug dealers and vandals (as the nice police-woman put it). I really don't know what the lesser of two evils is anymore.

In an ideal world I want to move, far far away from this town and provide for myself. I'd honestly be in a state of bliss if I had a job and a place of my own in another county at the moment.

Anyway, I really need some help or advice please. I cannot take this anymore. :(
 
skippi90 said:
Not really much I can suggest tbh.

Any members of your family like aunties uncles etc who you could stay with?
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Nope, my parents pushed away their siblings years ago over stupid family feuds. I have an aunty and uncle I know but they won't be able to. No grandparents either, they all clocked out years ago.
 
Happy I have a car tbh. A night sleeping on the back seat has done no one any harm. :p


Erm, really your options are seriously limited.

McDonalds always have jobs going. I know it's a joke job but it's better than wrecking your head.
 
I can't offer a huge amount of advice but I'm another shoulder to lean on for support.

Keep those cv's going out and the work will come eventually. It's got to be the worst time to find the job you're looking for and it's probably going to get worse yet before it gets better so don't blame yourself too much. I'm looking as well and apart from the freelance work I've been doing I haven't found what I'm looking for either. I left my (good) job in September.

Living at home is a jip. I hated it when I had to move back. Just get yourself out as much as you can. Go hit some museums or the library during the day to get you out the house.

Got any mates you can call on for some manual or bar work? It's not so much the money but it keeps you occupied.
 
Jonny69 said:
Living at home is a jip. I hated it when I had to move back. Just get yourself out as much as you can. Go hit some museums or the library during the day to get you out the house.

Got any mates you can call on for some manual or bar work? It's not so much the money but it keeps you occupied.
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No mates are employers unfortunately. Indeed, more than a handful of friends are in the exact same position (minus the poor family dynamics) with no work etc.

I really wish I could get out more, but I've got no where to go. The town depresses me and all my JSA is going on rent and debt. I'm stuck in limbo.

An argument which has cropped up recently is "You think you know everything." / "You think you're so ****ing smart." which as you lot probably (or at least I hope) know is a complete farce. The whole reason -- I think -- for this line of abuse is simply that I come from a working class background and I've been the first to make the break so to speak. I've been personafied as the devil in this house, I really have. I really don't know how to explain the frustration and desperation I feel.
 
How old are you mate ? Personally just get your self out all day,does'nt matter where you go,but being somewhere random must be better than a arguement that could turn violent?
 
MiNxYyY said:
How old are you mate ? Personally just get your self out all day,does'nt matter where you go,but being somewhere random must be better than a arguement that could turn violent?
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23 in a month.

I really don't know where to go though.
 
Nix said:
No mates are employers unfortunately. Indeed, more than a handful of friends are in the exact same position (minus the poor family dynamics) with no work etc.

I really wish I could get out more, but I've got no where to go. The town depresses me and all my JSA is going on rent and debt. I'm stuck in limbo.

An argument which has cropped up recently is "You think you know everything." / "You think you're so ****ing smart." which as you lot probably (or at least I hope) know is a complete farce. The whole reason -- I think -- for this line of abuse is simply that I come from a working class background and I've been the first to make the break so to speak. I've been personafied as the devil in this house, I really have. I really don't know how to explain the frustration and desperation I feel.
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Would annoy me beyond belief and have been on the end of similar a few times but not to the same extent it seems. The rent you're paying atm, can you afford to get a small place, maybe sharing somewhere else?

Not everyone who rents is a drug dealer.
 
skippi90 said:
Would annoy me beyond belief and have been on the end of similar a few times but not to the same extent it seems. The rent you're paying atm, can you afford to get a small place, maybe sharing somewhere else?

Not everyone who rents is a drug dealer.
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Wouldn't be able to rent on the money I have left over and still be able to eat. We're talking 97 a fortnight of which 80% goes on debt and rent, etc. I'm left with pennies which I've been throwing at books as a desperate form of escapism.

The only option would be poor council housing (I was told this by the police). It's catch-22 :/
 
Nix said:
I graduated in September last year from university and since then, despite looking and literally having days of just posting generic cover-letters to as many people as possible; I'm yet to find any work or even an interview. This alone is obviously distressing.
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Don't get depressed that you aren't getting responses here because the economy is up the creek and it is probably one of the worst times for a long time to be looking for a graduate job.

Let the forum know what you graduated in and what skills you have.

As you are posting in a computer forum I assume you have an interest in computers and I reckon there are often opportunities in tech support either in a company or setting up on your own, if you can bear that sort of thing. It's not something I would wish to do now because the work is technically difficult and that can be frustrating, but if you're desperate it might be worth thinking about.

Rgds
 
Nix said:
An argument which has cropped up recently is "You think you know everything." / "You think you're so ****ing smart." which as you lot probably (or at least I hope) know is a complete farce. The whole reason -- I think -- for this line of abuse is simply that I come from a working class background and I've been the first to make the break so to speak. I've been personafied as the devil in this house, I really have. I really don't know how to explain the frustration and desperation I feel.
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That annoys me too and I think it's something you only rid youself of when you get older. Where's that coming from, your family or peers?

You've seriously got to get yourself out the house during the day, you're being crushed by your surroundings. I only mentioned the library because it's free and pulling books off shelves will at least keep your mind active and maybe help divert your thoughts. You've got free internet access there too.
 
helpimcrap said:
yeah, you might not like it but it could be the lesser of two evils and you'll be making friends too.
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Well, it's still not an instant process. Earliest I'd be looking at Officer's training (should I get in) would be September. That feels like another lifetime at the moment.
 
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