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You put that a lot better than I did. Have a gold star
Advice Needed
- Thread starter Nix
- Start date
BSc (Hons) Geography
Soldato
- Joined
- 24 Sep 2007
- Posts
- 5,789
If you have any niche interest, then consider using it to start ebay trading. Or, if you don't have a niche interest, decide on something that could sell well on ebay and go for it. If necessary, start by scouring the local car boot sales and look for something that could have a margin in. Doing this will at least be a constructive use of your time until you can get more permanent work, and you may enjoy it, plus there is the potential to make money if you are any good at it. It is all about identifying where there is a profit margin.
Hope that helps.
Rgds
Hope that helps.
Rgds
How about going to do your masters or maybe a PGCE? Maybe look for some research positions away from home or even the country?
Also, go and speak to your GP. They will be able to give you some advice, and some other people to talk to as situations like this can have an adverse effect on your health.
Also, go and speak to your GP. They will be able to give you some advice, and some other people to talk to as situations like this can have an adverse effect on your health.
Will be doing an MSc once I can afford it. At the moment I can't, nor have I got the funding.
I'm considering a PGCE if all else fails, at least you get paid for that.
Man of Honour
- Joined
- 27 Sep 2004
- Posts
- 25,821
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- Glasgow
It might not be much fun and the work will probably be ridiculously easy for you but have you considered temp agencies? If they're any good then they should be able to find you a job pretty quickly and although you won't be earning much probably it is better than JSA.
I think you need to address the problem you really have which is problems with your relationships within the family.
It's a grown up life skill to learn to get along with people, see things from other people's points of view, and so on. Black and white views, poor value judgements, arrogance, intolerance and rudeness are not unusual complaints made against young people.
From your original post you obviously consider yourself to be completely fault free and the victim here. I wonder ....?
Without knowing the family history I can only suggest you turn the other cheek, bite your tongue, respect your family's rules and conventions, and most important be the grown up in the three relationships you have - don't shout, swear, lose your temper, throw your toys out of the pram, think that being right about something is more important than domestic harmony .. and so on.
I speak as the proud owner of a 20 year old son who can be a complete arse sometimes, and by god I have to work at maintaining a civil relationship with him some days
His arrogant, self centred, ego centric, selfish, narrow minded, intolerant attitudes have reduced me to spluttering with incoherent rage on occasion. He will become easier to live with as he gets older and more experienced in life.
Does this sound familiar in any way?
Edit: Just to empahasize - Perhaps you should NOT just decide to run away from your problems, but tackle them head on. Sounds like your mother might be a good ally. But TALK to them all. Fixing badly broken relationships may take a very long time, and may not even work at all.
It's a grown up life skill to learn to get along with people, see things from other people's points of view, and so on. Black and white views, poor value judgements, arrogance, intolerance and rudeness are not unusual complaints made against young people.
From your original post you obviously consider yourself to be completely fault free and the victim here. I wonder ....?
Without knowing the family history I can only suggest you turn the other cheek, bite your tongue, respect your family's rules and conventions, and most important be the grown up in the three relationships you have - don't shout, swear, lose your temper, throw your toys out of the pram, think that being right about something is more important than domestic harmony .. and so on.
I speak as the proud owner of a 20 year old son who can be a complete arse sometimes, and by god I have to work at maintaining a civil relationship with him some days
His arrogant, self centred, ego centric, selfish, narrow minded, intolerant attitudes have reduced me to spluttering with incoherent rage on occasion. He will become easier to live with as he gets older and more experienced in life. Does this sound familiar in any way?
Edit: Just to empahasize - Perhaps you should NOT just decide to run away from your problems, but tackle them head on. Sounds like your mother might be a good ally. But TALK to them all. Fixing badly broken relationships may take a very long time, and may not even work at all.
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Whilst what EffBee said is true - that it would be best to mend the broken relationships - in some cases it's never going to happen. You make it sound like you have a tremendous personality clash with the rest of your family. Has this always been the case? If they're people who you simply don't get on with, I think you're better off distancing yourself from them before they drag you further into the gutter. Sadly not everyone is blessed with a family they can have good relations with.
Don't stress too much about the job. You seem like a pretty intelligent guy, and you have a worthwhile degree. The credit crunch doesn't help, but the offers will come. In the meantime, take any temp position that's offered to you. The work won't be exciting, but at least it'll get you out of the house until you can find a proper job, and stop your family from driving you totally insane. Even McDonald's has to be better than rotting away in an unfriendly house - at least you'll feel productive.
Other than that... do sport if that's your thing, take up a hobby, go to the library, meet up with mates - anything to get you out of the house.
Don't stress too much about the job. You seem like a pretty intelligent guy, and you have a worthwhile degree. The credit crunch doesn't help, but the offers will come. In the meantime, take any temp position that's offered to you. The work won't be exciting, but at least it'll get you out of the house until you can find a proper job, and stop your family from driving you totally insane. Even McDonald's has to be better than rotting away in an unfriendly house - at least you'll feel productive.
Other than that... do sport if that's your thing, take up a hobby, go to the library, meet up with mates - anything to get you out of the house.
My opinion, you won't like it but I'm 27 with a brother of 24 in the same situation and I said this to him exactly as I felt:
You sound just like my younger brother. You have moved back into your parents house because life outside of there was tough. They have offered you a roof over your head and you have feelings of inadequacy and resent your parents for that very fact. You argue silly little things, especially with your dad, and you don't realise this is because the fact you don't want to admit they're doing you a massive favour by putting you up in a time of need. What's more is you don't like the rules they put upon you because you think you're a real man now despite the fact you can't support your self without their help (which ultimately makes you resent your dad more). Your consistent need to place blame on other people as being "impossible, perfect, antagonistic, always pointing the finger and hypocritical" further ramifies the fact you don't see the strain you have put them under although they try their hardest not to tell you that.
Please forgive me if I am way out and misread what you put
Not at all, I understand exactly where you and EffBee are coming from. I haven't removed all blame from myself, but I'm not wholly to blame here. It's a lot more complicated than simply me being a sulking young man. I've tried in vein time and time again to speak to them and it only ends up in shouting. It wouldn't be so bad if you felt leeway was being made, but it simply isn't; the second I speak a wall comes down and the frustration begins.
It's no secret I don't like being home, but I'd be perfectly happy to be back home if it was a functioning family in the first place. I really do hate this town as I have bad history here. This isn't about house rules either, they've got it in their head that I'm a really horrible person and they're the type of people who will simply not admit to being wrong -- how dare someone half their age suggest that they may be wrong about anything! etc
I knew before I came home it was going to be bad. Sure, I'm annoyed about being home but I knew it was unevitable -- I was just hoping that things would be better now I'm older. Evidently, I was very, very wrong.
As I've said, I'm not a complete backside, nor am I selfish. Honestly, I'm quite set in my personal philosophies -- this is why the arguments are getting to me so much. All I want is for my family, to be a bloody family. I would love to have a peaceful abode, but instead they're like bickering children. I know that they're putting a roof over my head, they remind me of that fact every other day. Indeed, they seem to take joy in trying to upset me over this very fact. In their eyes I'm not a son trying his hardest to find work while the economy is up the creek in a bid to make something of himself; I'm a burden, an extra mouth to feed and someone they just don't want here.
Now, you tell me: how would you feel about such resentment? They begrudge me being here, and I don't want to be here at all. I bite my tongue to keep the peace, but when others look for an excuse, there's little you can do. There's no calm discussion here, it's just screaming.
It's not as black and white as your posts assume it is. There are personalities, histories, perspectives and a myriad of other factors all combining in a pressure cooker of bricks and mortar. Indeed, my relationship(s) seem healthy enough when I'm not living at home. It's weird really, some days can be absolutely eventless whilst on others all hell breaks loose for days on end. The timing of the recession, relatively speaking, was absolutely bloody awful!
Anyway, thanks for the advice again. I'm going to just get out the house at the first sign of an argument for the time being. I'll also pop around all the agencies once again; it can't hurt.
It's no secret I don't like being home, but I'd be perfectly happy to be back home if it was a functioning family in the first place. I really do hate this town as I have bad history here. This isn't about house rules either, they've got it in their head that I'm a really horrible person and they're the type of people who will simply not admit to being wrong -- how dare someone half their age suggest that they may be wrong about anything! etc
I knew before I came home it was going to be bad. Sure, I'm annoyed about being home but I knew it was unevitable -- I was just hoping that things would be better now I'm older. Evidently, I was very, very wrong.
As I've said, I'm not a complete backside, nor am I selfish. Honestly, I'm quite set in my personal philosophies -- this is why the arguments are getting to me so much. All I want is for my family, to be a bloody family. I would love to have a peaceful abode, but instead they're like bickering children. I know that they're putting a roof over my head, they remind me of that fact every other day. Indeed, they seem to take joy in trying to upset me over this very fact. In their eyes I'm not a son trying his hardest to find work while the economy is up the creek in a bid to make something of himself; I'm a burden, an extra mouth to feed and someone they just don't want here.
Now, you tell me: how would you feel about such resentment? They begrudge me being here, and I don't want to be here at all. I bite my tongue to keep the peace, but when others look for an excuse, there's little you can do. There's no calm discussion here, it's just screaming.
It's not as black and white as your posts assume it is. There are personalities, histories, perspectives and a myriad of other factors all combining in a pressure cooker of bricks and mortar. Indeed, my relationship(s) seem healthy enough when I'm not living at home. It's weird really, some days can be absolutely eventless whilst on others all hell breaks loose for days on end. The timing of the recession, relatively speaking, was absolutely bloody awful!
Anyway, thanks for the advice again. I'm going to just get out the house at the first sign of an argument for the time being. I'll also pop around all the agencies once again; it can't hurt.
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