Joke wanted, must be funny

Amleto · 13 Mar 2009 at 19:22

Bobster said:
A family are driving behind a bin wagon when a ***** flies out and smacks against the windscreen.

Embarrassed, and to spare her young daughters innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry; that was an insect."

To which, her daughter replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a nob like that!"

hehehe

Judge Mental · 13 Mar 2009 at 20:08

What do you call a carrier bag full of booze at the Last Supper?

Judas' carry out.

Jonny69 · 13 Mar 2009 at 20:51

Q: What's blue and kills* old grannies?

A: Hypothermia

Q: What's blue and kills* old grannies?

A: Me, in my lucky blue coat**

* substitute for rude word for fornication

** works best when pretending to read to family from a Christmas cracker joke

J1234 · 13 Mar 2009 at 20:58

uvmain said:
funnier than any joke I've read today

Agree, made me burst out laugh-HHHHHHNNNNNNNGGGGGGG.

singist · 13 Mar 2009 at 21:25

what's the difference between a pub and a clitoris?

A man can always find his way to the pub.

KennyBhoy · 13 Mar 2009 at 21:29

Paddy has broken his leg and his mate Mick goes round to see him. Mick says 'how you doing?' Paddy replies 'Not too bad. Do me a favour, nip upstairs and get me slippers, me feet are freezing.'

Mick goes upstairs and sees Paddy's gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters sitting on the bed. He says 'your dad's sent me up here to **** the both of you.' They reply 'get away with ya.....prove it.'

Mick shouts downstairs 'Paddy, both of em?'

Paddy shouts back 'of course both of em, what's the point of ******* one?'

Curunen · 13 Mar 2009 at 22:30

^That's pretty good.

Beren · 13 Mar 2009 at 22:45

yak.h'cir said:
What do penises and the bible have in common? Both get pushed down your throat by a priest.

Just asked the Missus this and she spontaneously came up with...

What do penises and religion have in common? They are both very close to balls.

Scuzi · 13 Mar 2009 at 22:50

What do you call a French man that wears sandals?

Phillipe Philoppe.

Beren · 13 Mar 2009 at 22:54

*cough* thanks for the edit rather than a holiday whichever don just changed my post

Pestilence · 13 Mar 2009 at 23:06

Why did the baker have brown hands?

...cause he kneaded a poo.

*Moangroan* · 13 Mar 2009 at 23:15

omg thats dreadfull but I did laugh..

Substance · 13 Mar 2009 at 23:28

Pestilence said:
Why did the baker have brown hands?

...cause he kneaded a poo.

Got a lol from me

GothicCorpse · 14 Mar 2009 at 01:52

how do you make a tissue dance??

put a boogie in it,

GothicCorpse · 14 Mar 2009 at 01:57

2 fish in a tank

one says to the other how do you drive this thing?

Mr-White · 14 Mar 2009 at 06:47

GothicCorpse said:
2 fish in a tank

one says to the other how do you drive this thing?

deja vu

MW

Cosimo · 14 Mar 2009 at 10:10

What have sperm and asylum seekers got in common?

They come in thousands but only one works.

Dark_Angel · 14 Mar 2009 at 10:13

tisonlyme said:
I think this thread is limited by the fact that they have to be funny. It is a rarity here after all

Damnit I was just gonna say that

Gaygle · 14 Mar 2009 at 10:23

Q. What did the mexican say when his homework blew away in the wind?

A. Where you going Esé?!

Andy · 14 Mar 2009 at 14:01

Did you hear about the two gays in the phone box?

They were trying to ring each other