Killzone 2 Limited Edition OMG I just didn't Give It Away Did I?

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Original material not just copied and pasted from a website. They are quite funny so give them a read

when I was 8 I thought those turkey dinosaurs were actually made of dinosaur and that was the main reason for their extension


OK got a good one: I was on teaching practice two years ago and doing a guided read with a girl aged 7. She kept telling me about her Grandma who had recently died. She then stating the fantastic question: Do you want to know how she died? I said yes. She said she had fallen down the stairs. Obviously as a trainee teacher I comfort her and say maybe she had slipped or tripped and that it was an accident.

Then she just said the fantastic words (bear in mind she is 6)

"Well thats what you get for being a drunk" this was said as if she was an adult - I think she had just heard what her mum had said.


Last one:

Same block placement two years ago as the story above. We went to a large country house which had gardens and a mini farm. We went to see the horses and ponies - The 2nd largest horse in Europe next to a little shetland pony - was quite funny

Then we went to see the baby goats - these were sort of teenage aged goats with little horns. Now these things liked to do one thing it seemed - fight. they kept ramming into each other and I had to explain that this was part of growing up as a goat.

Then one of the goats turns around and one of its horns is hanging of its face and its bleeding quite heavily. the children start screaming "It's dieing save it Mr O (nickname) save it"

I spot a fella who works for the farm as a security guard. this gu was clearly a bouncer at nights as well as he was pretty beefy, bold head and a big black jacket. One of the kids says : Is he the vet?

Yep! I say I'll have a word. I approach this guy like the pied piper with a group of kids behind me. I say "er excuse, the children are a little concerned about a goat that seems to have taken an injury is there any chance that you couldhave a look at it?"

The guy looks at me and the kids and says "yeah I'll have a look at it" and he then walks away in the other direction. I spotted him having a fag about 2 mins later. No real punch line just a funny story.

HAHAHAHAHHA

he shoud win definitly the first one nice :D
 
cant think of anything funny so just googled for some inspiration :D

sniperlizard.gif
 
I'll post my favourite chat up line:
*Go up to a random girl at the bar*
"You're getting laid tonight"
*Shock* "Why?"
"Because I'm stronger than you."
Great chat up lines such as that will help you in future conquests I'm sure ;).
*Note may not be so sure*
 
A video of my mate climbing a tree then getting stuck last summer:


Warning of bad language but it makes me laugh everytime I see it.
 
OK then. I've developed an obsession with Killzone 2. If you give me the limited edition one, I'll give my copy to someone else you choose.

On top of that, I'll tell you a funny story. I went to the library with my wife the other day to print some stuff. When we found computers, hers was next to an excited-looking guy. After about 3 minutes, she comes running over to me and wants to leave because the guy who looked excited had his thingy out and was looking at semi naughty pictures. In the library.

Some people are just too funny.
 
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