'Tis a women thing really..

Last night me and the gf were in bed messing around in the dark as you do. I asked her which side of the bed the glass of juice was on so that one of us didn't knock it over (I just have a mattress on the floor).

Me: Where's the drink? I don't want to knock it over.
Her: It's on my side, here...(She fumbles around and instead of moving the drink, she knocks it over)...oops
Me: What's up?
Her: Look what you've done, you've made me spill the drink!
Me: W...T...
Her: You're a ****, why did you do that? (she goes in a mood now)

She's not emo at all :rolleyes:
 
yermum said:
like you guys are all soooooooooo perfect -

like you never leave your socks/pants/trousers etc. etc. lying around instead of putting them in the laundry basket?
Makes them easier to find.

like you never leave the loo/ bathroom so toxic that it takes industrial strength air freshener and six months to make it fit for human habitation again?
Thats just natural, and impressive.

like you always remember your relatives' birthdays and never have to be reminded to send your mum/ dad/ brother a birthday card?
Okay, have that one.

like you never drive too fast?
I've got things to do, drive fast = get there faster.

like you never wee all over the loo seat/floor and always remember to put the seat/lid back down?
Why would you want the lid down, you're only going to lift it to use the toilet. And men get in, wee, get out, it's speed urination.

like you never sulk?
like you never moan when painters are in

i could go on, but you're all so perfect it would be a waste of time. :D
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We are perfect.
Women things, women who pay for petrol then sit in their car for a good 30 seconds before driving off.
 
1. Spend ages at any cash machine.
2. Answer 'nothing' when asked what's wrong.
3. Being annoyed with you about something you did either weeks ago and she's just remembered, or in her dream the night before.
4. Moaning about the seat being up. There's 2 guys in the house and only 1 girl. Deal with it.
5. Whining about me working overtime. I'm not doing it cos I enjoy it, it's for the cash - pure and simple!
6. Her: 'What do you want for tea' 'I don't mind, I always pick and I'm not fussy tonight, you decide' 'Well what do you fancy? 'Didn't I just say I don't mind?' 'Well if you're gonna be like that we won't eat :mad:' 'Err, since when did that make sense, sweetie?'
7. Me: 'What do you want for tea?' 'Something nice' 'WTF?'
 
re: moody, teary women who wont say what the problem is.

i find tears works quite well. Just gave up using logic. Curiously enough it utterly transforms them into a GOOD mood.
 
TheVoice said:
Not sure if this is just a female thing, but my housemate is absurdly paranoid about things at times. She's always worried about leaving her straighteners on in the morning, to the point that the inbox on my phone is full with "I'm sure I switched them off!!! xx" texts.
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My housemate did this as well. Every time we went out, we'd get five minutes down the road before she'd get so paranoid that her straighteners were on that someone would have to go back and check. The straighteners were invariably turned off, unplugged and back in a drawer somewhere.
 
I've just driven to Tesco to pay for a bunch of shopping that my wife had taken to the till before she realised she'd forgotten her purse.

Ordinarily she'd have gone back and paid for it herself, but she's pregnant, so I have to feign sympathy for this sort of brainfart.
 
Dup said:
The WORST one is:

Me: Are you OK?
Her: *sigh*Yeah*sigh* (without making eye contact)
Me: Come on, what's up?
Her: *silence* *stares at TV*
Me: Well?
Her: *silence*
Me: Come on chubby chops, whats the beef?
Her: NOTHING IM FINE!

Not even an insult can get any kind of decent response. I HATE that. I just tell her shove it now, seems to get her talking at least.
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I get this one:mad:.
 
Surfer said:
re: moody, teary women who wont say what the problem is.

i find tears works quite well. Just gave up using logic. Curiously enough it utterly transforms them into a GOOD mood.
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You're now sympathising with them by crying at the same time, either that or it is purely a vindictive pleasure - I'll leave it open to you to decide which.
 
Pish said:
we both watch a film that i have seen and she has not

...........
her : well just answer it then
me: just watch and find out
her : not talkative tonight?
me : ok, here is the whole damn film, matey did this, then that happens then this, then that blah blah blah the end
her : why did you ruin the film
me : u pushed me too, now i can go play L4D, enjoy come dine with me by yourself now

pretty much every film is like this, still love the silly moo though
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This, or usually she doesn't want to watch a new film, because it is one of 'my' films and she won't like it. How does she know what she likes when she hasn't watched the damn thing.

Her: Put on gone in 60 secs, casino royale etc.
Me: No watch some of my other films you haven't seen.
Her: No I want to wtach one of them.
Me: We watched both of them last weekend, watch something you haven't seen:
Her: Ok then ! What do you want to watch ?
Me: Try this (eastern promises), then lists many many others.
Her: No, you always pick films I don't want to watch.
Me: Have the remote Im off for L4D.

and.

Her: You're always watching tv when I get back.
Me: Clever I get home before you.
Her: But you're always watching it.
Me: Well it is mine plus I don't want to watch the hills, friends, alll of which I have already seen, and you have also seen 3 times. I'm off to make dinner.
(Her watching corry etc)
Her: What shall we watch TOGETHER during dinner?
(Me then listing everything)
Her: No you only want to watch your programs, lets watch friends together.
Me: :mad: Fine Il put on Holby city.
(Finishes dinner)
Me: Right Im off to play L4D.
Her: WHy you never want to spend time with me ?
Me: FFS :mad: You dicate what MUST be shown on the tv and don't want to watch anything new and different, then you get annoyed because I don't want to waste my evening sitting here watching this **** with you.
 
-Ad- said:
Her: WHy you never want to spend time with me ?
Me: FFS :mad: You dicate what MUST be shown on the tv and don't want to watch anything new and different, then you get annoyed because I don't want to waste my evening sitting here watching this **** with you.
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And from all that all she would have heard is :

-Ad- said:
I don't want to waste my evening with you.
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;)
 
yermum said:
like you guys are all soooooooooo perfect -

like you never leave your socks/pants/trousers etc. etc. lying around instead of putting them in the laundry basket?

like you never leave the loo/ bathroom so toxic that it takes industrial strength air freshener and six months to make it fit for human habitation again?

like you always remember your relatives' birthdays and never have to be reminded to send your mum/ dad/ brother a birthday card?

like you never drive too fast?

like you never wee all over the loo seat/floor and always remember to put the seat/lid back down?

like you never sulk?

i could go on, but you're all so perfect it would be a waste of time. :D
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Says it all really.

The behaviour you describe is just what men do. There is nothing wrong with any of it, women just have it in their pretty little heads that there are issues here. Women don't like it and try to change us. There is nothing more annoying than a woman trying to change us like this.
 
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