so..i've been stupid again

As an addendum: Mentioning getting married, buying a house together, and having kids will make a lot of guys run a country mile :)

The first two sound alright with the right person, but the last one - yuk, no thanks :p
 
ok so here i am. i cant believe this is now 4 pages long

so here goes, got up this morning after about 5 hours sleep, had a bit of a cry, went to work

as i said previously i wasn't in the best of moods last night before I spoke to him anyway. (some relatives are sick (cancer), i've got other things on my mind) which looking back is most likely why i cried because before i spoke to him i felt like i just needed to get it all out of my system anyway so this whole thing set it off

Just to answer a few comments:

Hedge - i didnt broadcast what happened as such it was more of a "i hate men" kind of rant. its been removed now! lol
Skyfall - Pics of what. I'm on rogues as others have mentioned if thats what you mean
fourstar - I get your point and I did think that too. I think over the years i've put him on a pedestal as this perfect guy who has no faults and I shouldn't have done that.
Dkore - I see your point and again I think the fact that I have other stuff going on right now just made me feel ten times worse and made me a little shall we say hormonal! In the past he was the one who had first mentioned meeting, over the years when we couldn't i always felt kind of guilty that i'd moved on and he was still alone so I always felt i was to blame for why we never met sooner.

I havent tried to push him, he mentioned meeting last year before he got sick I just suggested things because i know he has to arrange it far in advance with work etc i.e. taking time off

Neodite - I tried a couple of dating sites in the past but they didn't work out and now my family have basically said they're disappointed that i did. Ive tried going out with friends more and over the last 6/7 months i havent been looking. Ive had a couple of guys talk to me but i havent thought "ooh bf material" ive just had a chat with them

Pike - Looking back at the thread i can see how i may come across obsessed, i guess in a way maybe i was because ive been trying to meet him for so long that i just wanted to meet him see what he was like (probably realise he's not as perfect as i thought) and then move on and just be friends. (i told him all this last night as well so now he understands what i wanted out of meeting - purely to finally meet)

its just the lying that really got to me. He knows how all my exes lied so much its got to the point where I now find it really hard to trust anyone but with him i did. I trusted that he'd always be honest and he wasn't. I gave him the opportunity ages ago to say if anything was wrong/there was someone else and he chose not to.

i'm mainly upset with myself for how i've been and i really wish i could be more strong. not open up too much. (all my exes complained i wasnt selfish enough)

Skully - sounds like a good idea! are you still working in that bar? maybe you can get some free drinks lol

I text him this morning (not to stalk him!) but just to ask that he can delete any pics he has of me (no not those kind) and he said maybe i should do the same. He also said he thinks its best we continue as just friends for now.

I dont speak to him that often anyway so it just means i have one less person texting me for a while (well actually he's the only one who texts me lol) but the breathing space will be good.

Solari - I never said i wanted to marry him, have his babies or anything lol. the only time we talked about it in general was when i told him an ex had said he was planning to propose, then he mentioned he'd got engaged a few months before. then he had asked what i wanted in future etc and we just had a chat from there. it wasnt a "so do you wanna meet and then see how it goes and impregnate me?" lol
 
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Sorry but where is the link to the pic everyone is talking about? :p



I met my partner on facebook :o was abit strange meeting somone of facebook, but sparks flew and we are now living together and got a 5month old :o

So we are out there, you just gotta find us ;) lol

Oh and as for people being disapointed in you for using dating sites? How you meet somone should NEVER matter, aslong as your both happy does, your a big girl now meet people however you feel comftable, times have changed, and there is lots of ways of meeting new people. And i hope you do find that special somone, as you sound like a nice girl
 
[TW]Fox;13790268 said:
And I speak from experience as well, and its a completely different experience to yours. Sounds like your girl just wasn't worth it. So, as with any relationship it depends on the people in it and blanket statements are just that - blanket statements unlikely to be true for everyone.

Just because you couldn't manage it doesn't mean other people cannot.
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This is my terrible habit of oversimplifying my point so much that it looks like a blanket statement. It can work, but it requires a lot of effort and it doesn't look like this bloke is willing to put the effort in so why bother with him. I don't bother with long distance relationships because distance tends to take the spontaneity away from the relationship, everything becomes planned and regimented because of the distance. Everything has to be arranged, sure you can travel for hours to surprise them but they might not even be in. For me, personally, I think they suck.
 
Neodite said:
Sorry but where is the link to the pic everyone is talking about? :p



I met my partner on facebook :o was abit strange meeting somone of facebook, but sparks flew and we are now living together and got a 5month old :o

So we are out there, you just gotta find us ;) lol

Oh and as for people being disapointed in you for using dating sites? How you meet somone should NEVER matter, aslong as your both happy does, your a big girl now meet people however you feel comftable, times have changed, and there is lots of ways of meeting new people. And i hope you do find that special somone, as you sound like a nice girl
Click to expand...

Well i was discussing it with my mum a while ago and her words were "oh ignore them, if you do meet someone just lie about how it was online they dont need to know as long as you're happy"

i was thinking of it recently, maybe using match.com but i wanted to wait until i was feeling better about myself first.
 
What's the problem with meeting people on dating sites? I gave it a try but to be honest it was full of minging, alcoholic, smoke factories.

You've got your veritable pick of the litter here though, maybe we should set you up with someone nearby from ocuk :D
 
Good idea, let lads on sites like that make you feel better too with compliments and stuff :) Im sure you dont have trouble getting attention
 
Just dive in head first. I've been waiting to feel better about myself for the last 6 months and it hasn't happened and I'm still single and miserable. The second you start meeting new people you can forget your feelings for this looser and move on to something more fulfilling & meaningful than a bit of internet chat and webcams.
 
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Get yourself on plentyoffish or some other dating site, you shouldn't have any problems finding someone new just dumb down the crazy a bit.
 
You can cut through the adolescence on this forum with a knife! "Pics plz" by the 2nd page, people fawning over the OP, etc.. bleh.

(Which leaves it to me to complete the circle by pointing out the obvious and e-whiteknighting, or something)
 
Chat to me on msn and you will forget this chump ever existed!

im joining the RAF ya know, men in uniform and all that. *flex*
 
Well, you heart is telling you one thing, and you know what you should be doing. No doubt your friends will tell you that you should do something else in order to take your mind off things, that would be the logical thing to do. It is hard, and you are probably won't feel up to it, but it is just a step you need to go through to get over him. You are feeling right now that you are losing him, and even like getting dumped, it is awful but take it one day at a time. You'll have good days when you don't miss him and bad days when you do, but take that when it comes. Go outside for a walk, go to the cinema, go see your friends, change your habit a little. It all helps. :)
 
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