18 year old wants a car.

m4cc45 said:
Won't work. He'll very quickly get a job in Argos and say 'there ya go' and then, as soon as the car arrives, ditch the job and then be even more dependant on his mum to get petrol, insurance, etc. and it'll be SO unfair if he doesn't get them.
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At which point you take the car off him.
 
arknor said:
hes my step son im not in a position to take away all the nice things he has, his mum my wife wont allow it.

i dont mind paying for 1-2 weeks worth of driving lessons and going 50/50 towards a half decent car to give him a headstart provided he get some kind of income so he can actually run a car.

3k+ no way. i can already see him tapping his mum for petrol money every day instead of busfare and if anything goes wrong i can see where hes going to turn for the money to get the car fixed.

some people would be happy with a 28inch hdtv , xbox360 , free internet laptop, free meals , mobile phone on contract and a roof.

he doesnt even buy his own clothes would anyone else here seriously want to gift him a car and everything that comes with it?

am i really in the wrong here? as far as i see it he could get a job and it wouldnt take him long at all to save up for a car we wouldnt take any money off him or stop what hes already getting from us so far.
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Ok, it sounds like you need to take control of the situation ASAP. I've seen many people carry on down this path that have always had stuff gifted for them and molly coddled by their mothers and it usually ends up with them getting a few jobs, being arrogant, rude etc and getting fired from them in a matter of weeks, then claiming there are no jobs left out there and then sit on benefits for the next few years.

Use this whole car thing as a way to get him to change his ways. Let him know how good the rewards of driving are (don't say "yay, you'll be able to drive to your job when you get one!!!1). Let him know how good it is to be able to do stuff like go on mini road trips, get food from McDonalds at 11pm etc. Think like an 18 yr old :D

IMO the most valuable thing at the moment is getting him to stop being lazy. If it means you have to spend 3k on buying the car, insuring it for him, and taxing it - so be it. You need to try and get him to get his first job - once he get's one, you're relatively safe and you can bet he won't be a lazy layabout on benefits. If he doesn't his lazyness will increase and he'll be living with you until he's 28 and you'll end up paying a lot more than £3k if that happens...
 
I saved up for 2 years to get my own car, Fri/Sat nights I worked in our local so didn't spend that much 'going out'. Buying my first car with my own money was just brilliant, the feeling of achievement was fantastic.

I do feel that young adults today have a 'get it now', 'pay for it later' mentality that is NOT good as a long term attitude.

If you wanted to be decent, say that you will match whatever he has saved in 12 months. That way he has to earn something towards it and will value it far far more.
 
Maybe don't buy the car, but at least help him towards getting his license. Having the license but no car could then push him on to get a job so he can buy a car for himself.
 
My first car cost 500 quid and I could not of been happier with it. Help him with his lessons and if he wants a car he can get a job, save some money and get something. I got bought some lessons to get me started for my 17th birthday from all the family.

If he expects something worth more than 3 figures he can save for longer :p
 
Netvyper said:
"I'll help you, but I won't do it for you"
- My Father
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This is exactly what I have been told all my life, by the old man.

I got a few lessons from family members when I turned 17, got a weekend job - and then bought my car for £500 - and my god did it feel good to have paid it myself - kept paying lessons and saving up for insurance, worked overtime like mad and passed and insured my car within a year.

He will appreciate it much more if he works for it, I never dreamed of ragging the life out of my car around maccyd's car park, because it meant so much more because it was MY money.
 
Nomisf said:
He will appreciate it much more if he works for it, I never dreamed of ragging the life out of my car around maccyd's car park, because it meant so much more because it was MY money.
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Exactly, I've never ragged any of my cars around carelessly because I KNOW if I break it, it's coming straight out of my pocket :)
 
I got my 1st car after getting a job and having a regular income, if I had still been at college I would not have even though about it. He needs to wake up and realise that he is being a ****. Having a car is a privilage not a right, if he can't even afford to put petrol in the tank then he can't afford to have a car, full stop. Why the hell should you fund it all?

Maybe buy him one of those driving lesson packages so he can start learning and if he wan'ts to carry on then he will have to get a job and start paying for them himself, i'm sure he would be able to earn £50 a week to pay for them. Once he's passed his test maybe put him as a named driver on your own insurance? If he wants total freedom then he can start saving for his own car and you can give him some money towards it for his birthday or somthing.
 
Theres a difference between needing something and wanting something. Paying all the expenses for a car to then have it just sat on the drive doing nothing is silly. That or it just becomes a very expensive way for him and his mates to pass the time.
 
I used to work two hours before college 6 days a week so I could afford my first car.

Had some driving lessons paid for me for my birthday but had to pay for the rest myself.

I'd offer to pay for some lessons but he should get a job to pay for the rest.

Tell him you will pay him half towards a car as long as it's in a certain price bracket.
 
The way my car worked out was that my parents had bought it a few years before i could drive as they needed an extra car at the time, but were also looking for something that would be reasonable on insurance and not be a massive loss if i was to crash it.

I had to pay for all of my driving lessons, all of the insurance, servicing costs, minor repairs, tyres and things like that, however my parents still pay for the tax and mot which is nice of them however i know i could do that myself too and have told them this aswell, but they say i dont need to worry about that until i buy my own car and have a full time job.

So personally i think meeting somewhere in the middle and then making him pay most of the his lessons and pretty much all of the running costs to keep the car going
 
Why does he need a car anyway, he doesn't need it for work travel so he just needs it to get to college but he uses the bus to get to college at the moment.

He will end up spending more money on petrol and socializing in the car. Buy him lessons and let him on your/wife insurance, I had lessons paid for and used my parents car every so often until I could afford my own car and insurance.
 
Joshy said:
I actually don't see the problem?

Shock horror. A 18 year old wants a car, but on paper cannot afford it. Most people who start driving at that age can't really afford it, but they make it work somehow.

Yes, the first year of motoring is expensive, but getting a car and the associated freedom and perks that car ownership brings is the best incentive for an 18 year old to get a job that I can think of. Instead of scoffing at the idea, maybe you could actually help? Offer to pay for his lessons? Offer to double whatever he manages to save for his first car? Ask around and find him a job?
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The way I see it, if you cant pay for it or dont make any attempt to pay for it (I.e getting a part time job to pay for it) you shouldnt have it, I got a job working at waitrose to fund my car at 17,

If he really wants it he will get a job to help pay for it, I think its fair to pay towards his car but dont get it all for him
 
Netvyper said:
"I'll help you, but I won't do it for you"
- My Father
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Bang on the money

Helping your child obtain a driving license should go down as one of those things that parents do to bring up their child properly.

its just as important a life skill as learning to swim for example. Obviously you dont NEED to swim, but it makes life a lot better in the long run if you do.

Pay for his lessons, then after that offer to help him pay for the car if he gets a job. HELP not provide.

if he then quits the job, the money to help run the car will have to stop. You'll need to talk to your wife about this to prevent him tapping her up as a soft touch.

if you intend on teaching him the value of money, you'll need to make sure that should he decide to try and take the wii with you, you then cut your end off and he's left with a car outside he hasnt got any money to put fuel into. So it stays on the drive and thats that.

Having it sat on the drive all tax'd and tested but with no fuel will be a great incentive to get a job and earn the money to drive it.
 
Buy him a bicycle....

My parents gave me 0 help to get a car when I was 18, so I got a job, paid for insurance, petrol, lessons and the car myself.

Parents that give their kids everything sicken me.

And I'm only 22 now.
 
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