Friday joke

skippi90 said:
We just got back from a holiday in Portugal.

Came back with the same number of kids I left with.

How clever am I?
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Not as clever as me. I came back with one extra.
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Haha, sickipedia for the win!
 
m0r94n said:
For the lose :(.

Every day I probably see about 5 people taking credit for Sickipedia jokes in their Facebook status updates. As a consequence I now hate that website.
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Trunly. It's so wrong for people to denigrate the sanctity of Facebook - I can't believe more people aren't outraged over it.
 
Two police women are out on foot patrol with their alsatian dog. One says "I'm getting a bit cold and I've left my thermal knickers back at the station". The other one says "use the dog, give him a sniff of your fanny and he'll fetch them for you". So she lets the dog have a sniff and he runs off to the station. Two hours later he returns with a truncheon, a plastic baton, a baseball bat and 3 of the sergeants fingers.
 
I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy ****s a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl ****s just two guys in a year, she's a ****.
So in response I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a ****ty lock.
That shut her up.


heheh sickipedia *** :p
 
So a rabbi, a priest, an Irishman, a blonde walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?”


Two Scots in London were having dinner in an Indian restaurant when a car crashed through the window and mowed them down. Amazingly, they both survived, although one now has a dodgy tikka and the other's in a korma.
 
Re using this thread as its friday....

Why did the football pitch turn into a triangle?

Because someone took a corner.



And a little more risky....

I found a young homeless girl hidden out by the bins last night. She was dirty and didn't smell too good but underneath the grime I could see she was pretty and had a good body. I brought her inside and gave her a bath. As I was towelling off her naked body I became aroused and one thing led to another. Before I knew it I was making passionate love to her. I was ****ing her so hard that a couple of times you'd have sworn she was alive.
 
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Tefal said:
I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy ****s a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl ****s just two guys in a year, she's a ****.
So in response I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a ****ty lock.
That shut her up.


heheh sickipedia *** :p
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:D
 
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