Living Alone
- Thread starter Wayne~
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Associate
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- 18 Oct 2002
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- Manchester
I like living alone I think its great. Then again I'm the kind of person that will spent half my nights doing something pub/mates/meal/whatever and then the other half I like to literally do as little as possible. I used to hate living in a shared house when all I wanted to do was well **** all every so often.
I also live in the city centre, I can look out the window and see lots of people pretty much 24/7! It can get expensive though.
I also live in the city centre, I can look out the window and see lots of people pretty much 24/7! It can get expensive though.
Associate
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- 28 Dec 2009
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- 899
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- Cheltenham, The Shire
Pretty much it.......apart from drink beer, but where the hell did the iron come from..So so far, fap, walk round starkers, game, iron?,
Its great.. Do it! I moved into my own place about 3 months ago after living in student houses/shared accommodation for the last 8 years of my life and I wouldn't go back for anything.
I can have the place exactly how I want it, any mess I make is my own mess so it doesn't annoy me. No fighting for the washing machine/oven. I can watch films and play games all I like. Don't really miss having loads of people around because I can always head round to my mates in the evenings/weekends if I'm bored. Am looking at getting myself a cat soon though because cats are ace!
I can have the place exactly how I want it, any mess I make is my own mess so it doesn't annoy me. No fighting for the washing machine/oven. I can watch films and play games all I like. Don't really miss having loads of people around because I can always head round to my mates in the evenings/weekends if I'm bored. Am looking at getting myself a cat soon though because cats are ace!
Pretty much it.......apart from drink beer, but where the hell did the iron come from..
This
Soldato
- Joined
- 17 Apr 2006
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- 3,165
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- 3rd rock...
My wife left me after 5 yrs and has moved in with her friend. Ive been living alone for about 10 weeks now. Its still really hard for me because like someone has mentioned if you are used to just *having someone around* its pretty killing suddenly being completely and utterly alone.
The key is keeping busy but that depends a lot on where you live. Large city then you are lucky but I live out in the boonies in a small-ass town wheres theres jack to do and all my friends are couples who of course would like to spend their weekends with each other.
Advantages - well...u can do whatever the heck you want whenever you want. No problems there. But the biggest thing is you will learn more about yourself. You also have come away from a relationship so when youre by yourself you do find yourself thinking "What do I wanna do with my life?"....."Where do I go from here..."..."Where did I go wrong with her?"..etc. I know...sounds all like deep and cheesy but u do find yourself wondering these things.
Disadvantages - if you thrive on having company its tough. Sometimes you do feel very lonely (notice I didnt say "alone") but a good distraction can work wonders - gaming, movies, mates, going out, a good book.
The key is keeping busy but that depends a lot on where you live. Large city then you are lucky but I live out in the boonies in a small-ass town wheres theres jack to do and all my friends are couples who of course would like to spend their weekends with each other.
Advantages - well...u can do whatever the heck you want whenever you want. No problems there. But the biggest thing is you will learn more about yourself. You also have come away from a relationship so when youre by yourself you do find yourself thinking "What do I wanna do with my life?"....."Where do I go from here..."..."Where did I go wrong with her?"..etc. I know...sounds all like deep and cheesy but u do find yourself wondering these things.
Disadvantages - if you thrive on having company its tough. Sometimes you do feel very lonely (notice I didnt say "alone") but a good distraction can work wonders - gaming, movies, mates, going out, a good book.
^^
yup am there since early december last year; after the mad woman I have loved with every fibre of my being for the last ten years just walked out, leaving a crappy note for me to find when I came home one evening.
Honestly, is best not to think about why/what/when etc and face up the the fact that you'll probably never know or understand what they were thinking to make them do/choose/decide to just **** off and leave.
I have spent the last two months sleeping on the sofa as I didn't feel comfortable in what I still consider to be 'our' bed
However, I've cleaned the place up and organised some things and had a decent nights sleep back in a proper bed last night - yay for me. 
Emotional stress makes you do some strange things sometimes.
I couldn't go back to 'student' house living. Too much friction with messy housemates and food going missing from the fridge, not to mention the log-jammin that shared toilets inevitably suffer.
At least I have my cat to keep me company, and since she took the rest of the cats we had together with her when she left, my cat and I keep each other company when we're lonely.
yup am there since early december last year; after the mad woman I have loved with every fibre of my being for the last ten years just walked out, leaving a crappy note for me to find when I came home one evening.
Honestly, is best not to think about why/what/when etc and face up the the fact that you'll probably never know or understand what they were thinking to make them do/choose/decide to just **** off and leave.
I have spent the last two months sleeping on the sofa as I didn't feel comfortable in what I still consider to be 'our' bed
However, I've cleaned the place up and organised some things and had a decent nights sleep back in a proper bed last night - yay for me. Emotional stress makes you do some strange things sometimes.
I couldn't go back to 'student' house living. Too much friction with messy housemates and food going missing from the fridge, not to mention the log-jammin that shared toilets inevitably suffer.
At least I have my cat to keep me company, and since she took the rest of the cats we had together with her when she left, my cat and I keep each other company when we're lonely.
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You could be as messy as you want.
Although you might end up eating scrambled egg, from a boot, with a comb.
I woke up in the spare bedroom once on the floor in a jesus christ pose, there's no bed in there
Bloody good night, hehe.I love it mostly. Buying my house last year was the culmination of a couple of years saving hard, making every economy I could in order to get my own place, after my long term relationship fell apart. I'm very proud of my place, despite treating it like poo occasionally. It can get a bit lonely at times, but then you can get lonely in relationships at times too. I worry sometimes about not being able to adjust to living with another when I find my next missus, I'm very used to doing my own thing.
I have spent the last two months sleeping on the sofa as I didn't feel comfortable in what I still consider to be 'our' bed
Emotional stress makes you do some strange things sometimes.
At least I have my cat to keep me company, and since she took the rest of the cats we had together with her when she left, my cat and I keep each other company when we're lonely.
Keep your head up man, you're doing great
Soldato
- Joined
- 17 Apr 2006
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Sorry to hear that mate. I know exactly how that is beleive me. Dunno how they can just walk out. Its a roller coaster ride huh...some days youre just fine other days you wanna jump into a black hole. Theres loads of resources out there on the net dude. I found a lot of good stuff out there - dont ignore YouTube which has a ton of very good videos on how to cope and stuff.
Tell me again about the bed...its the worst isnt it.
You made me think about cats now....I think I should get one. They easy to look after yea? Can you like leave them alone for a weekend etc. if you go away?
But yea we aint helpin ourselves going all negative - now we can do DUDE things. Heck the other day I ran outta t-shirts and found some in the laundry basket *sniiff sniff* smellz aaaiiite! And on it went
Hang in there.
Lmao!
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Sorry not replied before now, been doing stuff. 
As far as helping myself... well apart from willpower, I've spent a lot of time getting back into music of various sorts; has always been a big thing for me, music. Either playing or listening.
I guess everything happens when you're ready for it. Feels kind of daft looking back on the sofa thing, but hey, no one is going to complain about it hehe.
There's a fundamental level where my heart and my head are at odds with each other.
I've always believed we are only given the things in life that we have the strength to deal with. And, self esteem aside, the only truly important things are the people you choose to have in your life - friends or lovers - everything else is just 'stuff' or material; there's nothing else that has more value in a persons life than those they choose to share it with. It defines many of us beyond doubt.
As such, I've felt that compassion and honour, love and trust, are great strengths of character and not a weakness. Now more than ever, that conviction is being tested beyond reason and my ability to embrace it.
But it's not all bad or something that consumes my daily thoughts so much now. If I look too closely it still feels as bad as when I discovered what had happened - a sort of sinking feeling where I felt like chucking - but I only give it a casual glance now and then (so to speak).
As far as the cat is concerned, he's pretty easy to look after much of the time. As he's an indoor cat (only has one eye and the other is not brilliant either) you have the cost of cat litter etc. Most expensive thing is the food he likes hehe, that and vets bills for jabs and stuff like that (if you want to have your animal in a kennel for any length of time they must have current inoculations).
As for leaving him whilst I go out/away, I wouldn't leave him for more than 24/36 hours at a stretch. Less if I can. Mainly this is because of feeding times - you can leave food down for them to graze on, but there's a good chance that if the little bugger is feeling greedy, he'll make a good go of eating the lot in one go.
It does mean I can't just sod off for a week (as I've wanted to recently, just to get away from everything for a bit). Also as he no longer has any little play mates to keep him company any more, I don't like leaving him too long.
I've had him longer than my (now) ex and I were together, so we have an understanding - he whines until I feed him not forgetting every time I make something to eat he decides it's time for a crap lol
On the whole though cats are fairly easy to look after. Were my work situation different, I'd perhaps get another cat to keep him company whilst I'm out/working or whatever. But that'll have to wait for the time being.
As far as helping myself... well apart from willpower, I've spent a lot of time getting back into music of various sorts; has always been a big thing for me, music. Either playing or listening.
I guess everything happens when you're ready for it. Feels kind of daft looking back on the sofa thing, but hey, no one is going to complain about it hehe.
There's a fundamental level where my heart and my head are at odds with each other.
I've always believed we are only given the things in life that we have the strength to deal with. And, self esteem aside, the only truly important things are the people you choose to have in your life - friends or lovers - everything else is just 'stuff' or material; there's nothing else that has more value in a persons life than those they choose to share it with. It defines many of us beyond doubt.
As such, I've felt that compassion and honour, love and trust, are great strengths of character and not a weakness. Now more than ever, that conviction is being tested beyond reason and my ability to embrace it.
But it's not all bad or something that consumes my daily thoughts so much now. If I look too closely it still feels as bad as when I discovered what had happened - a sort of sinking feeling where I felt like chucking - but I only give it a casual glance now and then (so to speak).
As far as the cat is concerned, he's pretty easy to look after much of the time. As he's an indoor cat (only has one eye and the other is not brilliant either) you have the cost of cat litter etc. Most expensive thing is the food he likes hehe, that and vets bills for jabs and stuff like that (if you want to have your animal in a kennel for any length of time they must have current inoculations).
As for leaving him whilst I go out/away, I wouldn't leave him for more than 24/36 hours at a stretch. Less if I can. Mainly this is because of feeding times - you can leave food down for them to graze on, but there's a good chance that if the little bugger is feeling greedy, he'll make a good go of eating the lot in one go.
It does mean I can't just sod off for a week (as I've wanted to recently, just to get away from everything for a bit). Also as he no longer has any little play mates to keep him company any more, I don't like leaving him too long.
I've had him longer than my (now) ex and I were together, so we have an understanding - he whines until I feed him
not forgetting every time I make something to eat he decides it's time for a crap lolOn the whole though cats are fairly easy to look after. Were my work situation different, I'd perhaps get another cat to keep him company whilst I'm out/working or whatever. But that'll have to wait for the time being.