Japan's Forest of Death.

Any comments are helpful, I'm still rather new to all this. I find it interesting that views can be so polarised, I guess I need to find a happy medium: an article style that's not too flowery, but retaining some colour and fun.

For the people saying the grammar is incorrect can you show me where?
 
Just about to read the article but noticed from the image of the forest, the heading photo. Is this the forest that Verses (The film) was recorded?
 
Forde said:
For the people saying the grammar is incorrect can you show me where?
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"and is revered and celebrated throughout the nation’s history"
I think this sounds a bit strange in present tense because you are referring to history, which obviously is past tense. I would have written this as "has been revered" instead of "is".

"beloved of Hokusai"
At first I thought this should be "beloved by", but the dictionary says beloved is an adjective or noun rather than a verb so I'm not sure. Also, I would have appreciated it saying "beloved of the famous artist Hokusai" because I am a philistine so I had to google him!

Other than that, I don't like some of your placements, or in some cases lack of, commas and semi-colons. However, commas in particular are a bit subjective, and it's just my opinion. I wouldn't like to categorically state which ones are wrong.
 
Forde said:
For the people saying the grammar is incorrect can you show me where?
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Redrum has pointed out a few already, but I'll throw you some I've picked up.

This sentence is poorly structured and somewhat hyperbolic:

A vast forest where the soil is fed by more than the usual leaf litter, long has Aokigahara Jukai been a name to whisper after dark.
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This sentence uses "that" where I believe "whom" is more appropriate:

In lean years gone by impoverished local inhabitants would bring those that could not feed themselves to the forest to die.
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Try to avoid repeating "to."

More awkward phrasing and hyperbole here:

The elderly and infirm, the young and disturbed would die long, drawn-out demises starving to death, their unheeded cries stifled by the notorious denseness of the trees.
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"Demises"? Not one of nature's neatest plurals. Technically accurate, but it smacks of a singular noun pretending to be something it's not.

"...drawn-out demises starving to death" is redundant; you're basically saying "...drawn-out deaths starving to death." Ouch.

Hope this doesn't sound too harsh. Your heart's in the right place, but your grammar's in a different county. :)
 
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I enjoyed the article. Totally agree that it was perhaps overdone but enjoyed it none the less and certainly don't criticise. On the contrary, since the weather is so nice right now, I am considering going there next week to check it out for myself. Looks like a lovely place to take some pics.
 
Doubt it, looks like he's taken them from google.:)

Which leaves to another thing, OP just make sure you are allowed to use those images, don't want a big bill heading your way...;)

The Article isn't too bad though, although as some said it did seem to be trying too hard.
 
Looks like a nice place to hang around. Also, that Ranger station with the room set aside for someone to share a room with the corpses has epic prank potential IMHO.
 
Alas, the photos aren't mine. Some are from Creative Commons and I couldn't find the sources of the others that aren't credited.

Evangelion & Redrum: d'you have any online written material of your own that you could link? I'm always willing to learn from others.
 
Forde said:
Alas, the photos aren't mine. Some are from Creative Commons and I couldn't find the sources of the others that aren't credited.

Evangelion & Redrum: d'you have any online written material of your own that you could link? I'm always willing to learn from others.
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I have plenty, but it primarily consists of theological exegesis, so I'm not sure how useful it would be to you.
 
Just from the article.

Was there 2,645 suicides in January in Japan or is that the figure for the area ? If thats trhe case it's not really that many - and how many were there.
 
PASONIX said:
Just from the article.

Was there 2,645 suicides in January in Japan or is that the figure for the area ? If thats trhe case it's not really that many - and how many were there.
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Not that many? Japan have one the highest suicide rates in the world I believe.
 
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