Just found out my ex has a new boyfriend

Sucks, I swear women can get over relationships so much easier than guys... Just be grateful you don't work with her :( (won't make that mistake again).
 
With it been a year you should really try to move on. I can understand you being gutted about it, seeing someone you used to love with another guy can hit you like a tonne of bricks, but you should try not to let it affect you that much...
 
Its tricky, took me ages to get over my first serious gf because we broke up due to the distance rather that a **** relationship but to be honest I look back and realise that it wouldnt have lasted for ever.

The point about women breaking up with guys in their minds well before they do it in reality is a good one though. I broke up with my gf about a year ago now and it really didnt affect me that much because for months I kinda knew it was on the cards and I eventually did it because I was being a **** to her in the vain hope that she would finish with me. Really lovely girl but just not right for me so it didnt take as long as the previous one even though this one was better.

Funny things emotions eh. Im quite lucky though, doesnt bother me in the slightest that I dont have a girl at the moment. They always seem like a lot of effort if you are not really into them and I seem to have trouble getting too invested in people in general.
 
To the guy who said this.


" women effectively break up with you in their minds longs before doing it in reality "

Your a No unstarred swearing -VS- legend ma man because this is the truth of life.
 
Something similar happened to my mate. He split up with his ex something like 7 years ago and he's not going with anybody. A wedding invite came through our door a few weeks back and it was from his ex for me and the missus to go to her wedding even though I haven't really seen her in a few years although we'd send Christmas cards each year.
I was chatting to my mate and said we'd got an invite from his ex, I swear it was like sombody murdered his family, I hardly knew what to say. 7 years lol, sensitive ol' soul he is.
 
Tachyon said:
Something similar happened to my mate. He split up with his ex something like 7 years ago and he's not going with anybody. A wedding invite came through our door a few weeks back and it was from his ex for me and the missus to go to her wedding even though I haven't really seen her in a few years although we'd send Christmas cards each year.
I was chatting to my mate and said we'd got an invite from his ex, I swear it was like sombody murdered his family, I hardly knew what to say. 7 years lol, sensitive ol' soul he is.
Click to expand...

He needs help, seriously.
 
MarkDavis said:
I don't know...maybe I need to retrain my brain. I can assure you that I don't want to be thinking about her and want to have moved on, but it is what it is.
Click to expand...

Had my other half of almost 10 years walk out back in december. She left a crappy bit of paper explaining she needed space to sort her clinical depression blah blah blah. Didn't even have the decency to tell me to my face after all we'd been through together... :mad:
Looking back on some of the things I lived with as 'normal' every day stuff with her, I am forced to examine closely, a question my mother put to me in the new year (yes, it has taken that long for me to digest) - 'Could you live with another ten or twenty years of the frequent breakdowns and irrational and unstable behaviour that has led you to where you are now, and be happy?' - As much as my heart would forgive all just for the chance to feel her warmth back next to me on her side of our bed and to see her smile at me, like there's no one else in the world, when she wakes up... I must say no.

You always seem to loose something of yourself that is so precious and important that there are no real words to describe it. Breakups are funny like that; I slept on my sofa for 2 months because I wasn't comfortable in sleeping in what I still considered to be 'our' bed hahah.

You'll do some weird ****, but that's ok. Get out with your mates, eat good food every day, maybe a spot of exercise (I do a lot of hiking and a little weight training a few times a week). It's all good stuff. I'd also not recommend letting your sleeping get all messed up... spending all night brooding over things is not healthy on so many levels - that's something I still struggle with from time to time.

You just have to refocus your attention on the good things in life and to follow your head and not your heart for the time being. There's no panacea for how you feel, or for how I feel, or for any of us in times like these. But the sun still rises each morning and it's a beautiful world containing many beautiful people - you're here to see it every day, gratis.
 
Given the circumstances I think the best course of action would be to sit outside her house with a bag of sand. You want to 'paint' a sand picture of your emotions when you were together (preferably overnight) then in the morning when she comes out of the door buy an industrial fan and have the sand 'blow away' (the suggestion is artistic) then cry uncontrollably and scream different things she used to do that you miss while she gets in her car.

The method isn't tested but the theory is there. Go for it and let us know the results.
 
OP move along, Jesus we have all been through this I think and you get your oats another day.

But banging on about it after a year, ffs, move along.
 
Everyones been there. My first love took away a massive part of me when we broke up, and I was in a mess for quite a while. I wasn't interested in going out and pulling other birds, i was drinking... but not to pull. Just to lose myself.

It took 6 months of heartache... but in the end all it took was for me to find out she had a new boyfriend. That weekend I went out and pulled five birds, took one home for the night. And continued to start seeing all five throughout the rest of the summer. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh that was a good summer.

Don't be down in the dumps pal, use it to turn it into something good, and to get over her. Obviously no amounts of people telling you that you need to get over her will help... times and time alone heals, and you will get over her when you are ready too, and only when YOU ARE READY.

But don't be too down in the dumps, trust me when I say the next girlfriend you have.... will make you wonder what you was ever doing with the last.
 
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