Mondays Joke

Below is the version that I like

The KGB, the GIGN and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary General of the UN decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that the rabbit does not exist. The GIGN goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming. The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
 
Even more preposterous! Bears can definitely not talk, even highly trained ones in the zoo or circus, and is it really plausible that 3 of the world's most elite agencies would agree to a test? Really? Having a diary of my own, I know firsthand how difficult it can to find time in a hectic and busy schedule. Let's not fool ourselves that the people working for the agencies are any different. They'll have time pressures and I think it's very unlikely that they'd be able to arrange mutually agreeable times, even with the Secretary General pushing them down this route.

It simply doesn't add up and this type of event would certainly have made the news. Did it happen? I'm not saying it didn't but I have reservations.
 
I liked it. The Police prolly knew that squirrel tastes every bit as good as rabbit.

+1 to the Police, they are so funny sometimes.....
 
[FnG]magnolia;16793295 said:
I doubt the verity of this story. It's very unlikely that any animal, far less a mere squirrel, would be be able to develop the ability to speak in any meaningful way. Now I'm not calling the OP a liar but I'm still unconvinced that these events happened. It just seems unlikely, don't you think?

Actually, I suppose a parrot or parakeet could potentially do this. Perhaps the OP meant parrot and not squirrel. There's probably not much eating on a parrot though so this wouldn't be enough to feed a large group of hungry men. Plus, only the Queen is legally allowed to shoot parrots so that'd be another hurdle each group would have to get over.
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[FnG]magnolia;16793838 said:
Even more preposterous! Bears can definitely not talk, even highly trained ones in the zoo or circus, and is it really plausible that 3 of the world's most elite agencies would agree to a test? Really? Having a diary of my own, I know firsthand how difficult it can to find time in a hectic and busy schedule. Let's not fool ourselves that the people working for the agencies are any different. They'll have time pressures and I think it's very unlikely that they'd be able to arrange mutually agreeable times, even with the Secretary General pushing them down this route.

It simply doesn't add up and this type of event would certainly have made the news. Did it happen? I'm not saying it didn't but I have reservations.
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Lol! As said.. better than the joke.
 
squirrel.jpg
 
The misses came home early on Friday night and nearly caught me watching the England match

Luckily I managed to put some porn on and get my **** out in time to save any embarrassment!!
 
xxalxx said:
more amusing than the joke.
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No!

[FnG]magnolia;16793838 said:
Even more preposterous! Bears can definitely not talk, even highly trained ones in the zoo or circus, and is it really plausible that 3 of the world's most elite agencies would agree to a test? Really? Having a diary of my own, I know firsthand how difficult it can to find time in a hectic and busy schedule. Let's not fool ourselves that the people working for the agencies are any different. They'll have time pressures and I think it's very unlikely that they'd be able to arrange mutually agreeable times, even with the Secretary General pushing them down this route.

It simply doesn't add up and this type of event would certainly have made the news. Did it happen? I'm not saying it didn't but I have reservations.
Click to expand...

**** why do I keep reading your crap replies in this thread!!
 
all England games will be moved to the gay adult channel next week as screening 11 a***holes being hammered for 90 minutes is considered to explicit for itv.
 
* No wonder ITV's pundits were so critical of England - the station had lined up some great adverts to show just as our first goal went in.

* The new Shrek film is very disappointing. Shrek did nothing for 90 minutes and then had a go at the audience for booing during the credits.

* The FA have launched an inquiry to find out how a fan found his way into the dressing room. And another enquiry into how Aaron Lennon found his way into the dressing room

* Fabio Capello told Wayne Rooney to have a long look at himself in the mirror. Like that's going to improve his confidence.

* I can't believe we only managed a draw against a poor team we should easily have beaten. I'm ashamed to call myself Algerian.

* Police have released the name of the angry bloke who stormed into the England dressing room and subjected Fabio Capello and the players to a stream of foul-mouthed abuse. It's Wayne Rooney.

* The England team went out to visit an orphanage in Cape Town on Saturday morning. "It's good to put a smile on the faces of people with no hope, constantly struggling and facing the impossible," said Jamal Umboto, aged 6.

* Handy that Blackpool are in the Premier League this season. It's the only chance these England players will get at going in an open-top bus.

* In honour of England's display against Algeria, we're unveiling a new national flag. It's the same design as before but without the red cross.

* Some good news though: In training today David James had 400 shots fired at him and didn't conceded a single goal. Tomorrow, he and Emile Heskey will train with the rest of the squad.
 
What's the difference between the England team and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

I'm shocked at Wayne Rooney's outburst after the Algeria game. Who knew he could even string a sentence together!

Fabio Capello was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping. He stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?" To which the old lady replied, "No way. You got yourself into this mess, don't ask me to sort it out!"

What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup? A referee.

What's the difference between Wayne Rooney and Shrek? Shrek can save the day.

Three hours of football and Robert Green is still England's top scorer.

What's the difference between a faulty jet engine and Wayne Rooney? The jet engine eventually stops whining.

Apparently that fan had no trouble slipping into the England dressing room – Robert Green was guarding the door
 
Pea Roast i know but it still makes me laugh.

In today's training session, Wayne Rooney collected the ball and dribbled around Ashley Cole, Wright Phillips, and Heskey. He then turned around and went around Ferdinand and Richards.

Fabio Capello shook his head and shouted " Cones, Wayne, I said go round the cones"
 
In honour of the world cup, OXO are bringing out a new cube wrapped in white foil with a red cross. They're calling it Laughing Stock.
 
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