Well, I need help in deciding whether or not im being rational and this is a good idea or not. Im not a bad person, so dont want to do anything stupid and wrong.
Basically, from the beggining, I've known this lass and we've been on and off for over 6 years, we really hit it off about 3 years ago, and 10 months ago came my wonderful son. Half way through her pregnancy, I found out she'd been sleepnig with another guy just before she concieved. I doubted that the child was mine throughout the pregnancy, and I got the blame for ruinening her pregnancy. I finally got confirmed it was months before she concieved, and I gave her the benefit of the doubt.
We split up and have been on and off since the child has been born. Her making and doing threats for me not to be able to see my son, or make it 10x difficult. I've never been allowed my son overnight, and its only recently I've been allowed him on my own, as not to travel to her home every day.
4 months ago we decided we'd give it a go, I wanted to take it slow as to not rush into things as I idnt want to get hurt again, and she said she wasnt waiting about. We slept together, then 1 week later she ****ed off abroad with a new fella and my son. Ths in turn destroyed me. She got back, even bringing him to my sons christening she aranged without me at her place and date, to which the only people from my side who were invited were my mum, dad and sister. At this point I have to visit her house in a regular basis to see my son, as I'm not allowed him on my own. I have to see her rubbing my face in that shes with another person, going out and me staying at her mums house looking after my son and putting him to bed.
Roll forward 2 months from this and they moved in together and started renting a house. just weeks before they were moving in she found out she fell pregnant with my child, from when we last slept together. Her intentions were that we make a go at things, i agree because i still loved her and wished she never got with another guy in the first place. then all of a sudden she tells me shes getting rid of it, starting a new life for her and our son. her new fella is a good guy, and he cares for my son??
so 3 weeks after they move in, comes the time shes gonig to abort, but she found out shes misscarried anyways.
This is the point where im getting jealous and left out of my son lifes, shes having some other guy drop my son off on his own at my house while I'm not even allowed him in my car. posting photos on facebook, refering to him as hubby and how she loves her 'boys'. I kick up an argument how its not fair another man is carting my son about yet im not allowed, she gets ****y, drops the bombshell shes moving away from here so that im out of my sons life so i cannot destroy it, and that im not to see him. that im a waste of space, ive never providedfor my son(even though ive gave her £30 a week since hes been born, and bought all sorts from push chairs to high chairs costing hundreds of pounds). All this stemmed because I only gave her £50 towards jacks room for her new home, because I felt why should I be decorating another mans house? All this gets on top of me and when she finally says shes taking my son away from me, It got to a point my life felt worthless, and i ended up on a cliff top prepared to jump.
I broke down, had couseling and ended up on anti depressants, all because for 3 months i tired to fight for her, and 3 times she said she loved me, missed me and wanted me, only to blow me out and say shes not prepared to leave her new fella. I pick myself up from a breakdown, meet a really nice lass whos 17. I start spending a lot of time with her and my ex turns round and tells me shes made a mistake, love and misses me and wants me back. I tell her i;m with someone else now and she tells me that this person is never to see my son, because shes only 17. not only that but I'm choosing someone else over my family, even though shes living with someone else. She told me everyone makes mistakes and I was the bad person for not taking her back, which i beleived.
It got to the point where I felt wow, she really does want me and ended my little flng with the new girl to try again with her. We spend a few days together, kissing at times and just being a family going out places with our son, I get to her house to pick up my son the other day, and shes sat there grinning saying she had sex with her new fella on the morning. I break down yet again and leave. How can she do this to me? She didnt want me, she just didnt want anyone else to. She stiched me up so that I finished with the new lass, and now shes happy again with him whilst im left with nothing.
Shes put herself in a win win situation, she said she was prepared to leave him, but I'm not prepared to go back to someone when shes now slept with them. It was bad enough she lives with someone else, blew me out many a time for this person. She even says she loves him, she wont lie yet hes not me. How can she be trying to get back with me, yet ****ing someone else. I cant get the image of them two having sex out on my head, and her enjoying it. But why should she? She loves him?
Point being, I'm now sat with nothing, while she has her cake and eats it. Becuase I wont go back to her because of the actions shes done, shes still happily living it up with her new fella. If I got back with her she'd get what she wants, so would still be winning. Why should she be able to be in a win qin situation when shes been so horrible, and its her thats caused all of this?
She's destroyed me yet again, an left me again with nothing. She made me through guilt leave a lass who made me the happiest ive been in a very long time, only to **** me over and have sex with him.
The point of this story is this. Should I tell her fella whats been going on? That shes been trying to get back with me, even seeing me at one point, pregnant with my child when they moved in together and all the rest of it, or just walk away and let her get on with it and think of it as a good thing that it never happened? Should she get away with this cheating, the mind ****s and hurting me so much?
Theres so much more to this story, I tried to keep it as brief as possible but still ended up writting an essay. I need feelback on if im doing the right thing in telling him, giving her what she desrves, I've told her im prepred to do it, and shes guilt tripping me that her new fella doesnt deserve it, and neither does my son.
Basically, from the beggining, I've known this lass and we've been on and off for over 6 years, we really hit it off about 3 years ago, and 10 months ago came my wonderful son. Half way through her pregnancy, I found out she'd been sleepnig with another guy just before she concieved. I doubted that the child was mine throughout the pregnancy, and I got the blame for ruinening her pregnancy. I finally got confirmed it was months before she concieved, and I gave her the benefit of the doubt.
We split up and have been on and off since the child has been born. Her making and doing threats for me not to be able to see my son, or make it 10x difficult. I've never been allowed my son overnight, and its only recently I've been allowed him on my own, as not to travel to her home every day.
4 months ago we decided we'd give it a go, I wanted to take it slow as to not rush into things as I idnt want to get hurt again, and she said she wasnt waiting about. We slept together, then 1 week later she ****ed off abroad with a new fella and my son. Ths in turn destroyed me. She got back, even bringing him to my sons christening she aranged without me at her place and date, to which the only people from my side who were invited were my mum, dad and sister. At this point I have to visit her house in a regular basis to see my son, as I'm not allowed him on my own. I have to see her rubbing my face in that shes with another person, going out and me staying at her mums house looking after my son and putting him to bed.
Roll forward 2 months from this and they moved in together and started renting a house. just weeks before they were moving in she found out she fell pregnant with my child, from when we last slept together. Her intentions were that we make a go at things, i agree because i still loved her and wished she never got with another guy in the first place. then all of a sudden she tells me shes getting rid of it, starting a new life for her and our son. her new fella is a good guy, and he cares for my son??
so 3 weeks after they move in, comes the time shes gonig to abort, but she found out shes misscarried anyways.
This is the point where im getting jealous and left out of my son lifes, shes having some other guy drop my son off on his own at my house while I'm not even allowed him in my car. posting photos on facebook, refering to him as hubby and how she loves her 'boys'. I kick up an argument how its not fair another man is carting my son about yet im not allowed, she gets ****y, drops the bombshell shes moving away from here so that im out of my sons life so i cannot destroy it, and that im not to see him. that im a waste of space, ive never providedfor my son(even though ive gave her £30 a week since hes been born, and bought all sorts from push chairs to high chairs costing hundreds of pounds). All this stemmed because I only gave her £50 towards jacks room for her new home, because I felt why should I be decorating another mans house? All this gets on top of me and when she finally says shes taking my son away from me, It got to a point my life felt worthless, and i ended up on a cliff top prepared to jump.
I broke down, had couseling and ended up on anti depressants, all because for 3 months i tired to fight for her, and 3 times she said she loved me, missed me and wanted me, only to blow me out and say shes not prepared to leave her new fella. I pick myself up from a breakdown, meet a really nice lass whos 17. I start spending a lot of time with her and my ex turns round and tells me shes made a mistake, love and misses me and wants me back. I tell her i;m with someone else now and she tells me that this person is never to see my son, because shes only 17. not only that but I'm choosing someone else over my family, even though shes living with someone else. She told me everyone makes mistakes and I was the bad person for not taking her back, which i beleived.
It got to the point where I felt wow, she really does want me and ended my little flng with the new girl to try again with her. We spend a few days together, kissing at times and just being a family going out places with our son, I get to her house to pick up my son the other day, and shes sat there grinning saying she had sex with her new fella on the morning. I break down yet again and leave. How can she do this to me? She didnt want me, she just didnt want anyone else to. She stiched me up so that I finished with the new lass, and now shes happy again with him whilst im left with nothing.
Shes put herself in a win win situation, she said she was prepared to leave him, but I'm not prepared to go back to someone when shes now slept with them. It was bad enough she lives with someone else, blew me out many a time for this person. She even says she loves him, she wont lie yet hes not me. How can she be trying to get back with me, yet ****ing someone else. I cant get the image of them two having sex out on my head, and her enjoying it. But why should she? She loves him?
Point being, I'm now sat with nothing, while she has her cake and eats it. Becuase I wont go back to her because of the actions shes done, shes still happily living it up with her new fella. If I got back with her she'd get what she wants, so would still be winning. Why should she be able to be in a win qin situation when shes been so horrible, and its her thats caused all of this?
She's destroyed me yet again, an left me again with nothing. She made me through guilt leave a lass who made me the happiest ive been in a very long time, only to **** me over and have sex with him.
The point of this story is this. Should I tell her fella whats been going on? That shes been trying to get back with me, even seeing me at one point, pregnant with my child when they moved in together and all the rest of it, or just walk away and let her get on with it and think of it as a good thing that it never happened? Should she get away with this cheating, the mind ****s and hurting me so much?
Theres so much more to this story, I tried to keep it as brief as possible but still ended up writting an essay. I need feelback on if im doing the right thing in telling him, giving her what she desrves, I've told her im prepred to do it, and shes guilt tripping me that her new fella doesnt deserve it, and neither does my son.
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