It's nearly the weekend, here is a joke.

Two Rastafarians are walking down a street and see that there's a party kicking off at a club. They approach door and the bouncer stops them and says "sorry gents, but it's fancy dress and the theme is 'emotions'. I can't let you in without a costume".

The dejected gents wonder off only to return 20 minutes later both naked, but one has his penis in a trifle and the other in a bowl of fruit. "what the hell are you supposed to be!?" the doorman asks. "Well I'm deep in dis pear and he's ****ing dis custard".

/coat (again)
 
OzyOly said:
Am I the only one who doesn't get this? :confused:
Click to expand...
Humour comes from the fact that people will assume that the barman is directing his question to the person of ethnic origin. Fun can also be had in the surprise that in this caper, Eagles can communicate in a method understandable by humans.
 
Spunkey said:
Humour comes from the fact that people will assume that the barman is directing his question to the person of ethnic origin. Fun can also be had in the surprise that in this caper, Eagles can communicate in a method understandable by humans.
Click to expand...

Oh, I thought it was a play on a movie scene or something, if that's all there is to it, I fail to see how it warrants a lol. :p
 
I'll try to redeem myself...


Jesus is hanging there on the cross and he spots Judas in the crowd.

"Judas... Judas... come closer!" he calls.

Judas makes his way to the front of the crowd and says "Yes, my Lord?"

Jesus says "Come closer..."

Judas walks up to the foot of the cross...

"Come closer..."

Judas shins up the cross to Jesus' feet...

"Come closer"

Judas clambers up to eye level with Jesus...

"What is it, my Lord?" he asks.

Jesus headbutts him and says "You *******!"
 
Englishman Scotsman and Irishman are talking about how they named their kids.

Englishman says "My son was born on St. George's Day so we called him George". Scotsman says "Oh that's a coincidence, our son was born on St. Andrew's Day so we called him Andrew". Irishman says "Bugger hell I don't believe this! Wait till I tell our pancake!"
 
Yesturday, i was horrified to find out that ive got pakistani blood. Luckily, its only a little bit on the front bumper. the rest is under the wheel arches
 
Little boy kills a butterfly, Dad-no butter for you, Boy kills a honeybee Dad-no honey for you! Mum kills a cockroach, boy turns to Dad and says now what
 
Q: Why can't foreigners play football for England?

A: Because every time they'd get a corner, they'd open up a shop
 
Last edited:
An englishman, scotsman and an irishman are on a plane together when it begins to divebomb, sending them to certain death. In order to escape, the plane has to loose lots of weight quickly to allow it to continue to fly. They decide that each man has to throw out a possesion.
'I'll throw out a rose, 'cos theres lots of them in my country' says the Englishman.
'I'll throw out a thistle, 'cos there's lots of them in my country' says the Scotsman.
'I'll throw out bomb, 'cos' theres lots of them in my country' says the Irishman.
Luckily, their plan works and they survive, and they each go home to their families.
As the Englishman comes home he sees his dad weeping and says 'Dad! Dad! Why are you crying!?' to which his dad replies 'a rose fell out the sky and the thorns slit your mothers throat!'
As the Scotsman comes home he sees his dad weeping and says 'Dad! Dad! Why are you crying!?' to which his dad replies 'A thistle fell from the sky and the prickles blinded your mother!'

As the Irishman comes home he sees his dad laughing and says 'Dad! Dad! why are you laughing?!' to which his dad replies:

'I farted and next doors house blew up'
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom