Is it shallow to like a girl based on her appearance?

I just have far too much time on my hands.

The beauty of looking from the outside in, really.

I won't take credit for that entirely either. I'm mostly repeating my own understanding of a book I recently read.
 
Me and a friend have a saying.

"All women are mental, it just finding the one that annoys you the least".

It true, they all have very odd behavior, but sometimes you'll find one that you don't find weird or annoying, and you'll think that shes not worthy because maybe she not perfectly pretty. Then you'll get with one that is prettier, but a lot more annoying and is weird, and she will test you like you cant imagine. I'm on the receiving end of a prettier one now, I'm just holding out for one that doesn't annoy me and is pretty. :) I hope she exists.
 
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Nix said:
Love is inherently utilitarian in my opinion. Therefore, it is by consequence, inherently selfish. The question is then, is this selfishness good or bad? To answer this we must ask ourselves if we can really hold matters of the heart to account when we have no true control. Love is basically amoral, not immoral. I think 'moral love' ('moral' being something done for an objective good as opposed to receiving anything in return) is something we have to teach ourselves and learn over time. It's a love we aspire to, but don't really achieve.

Simply put, morality and love are not bedfellows. However, I do not think this is a bye to allow individuals to act irresponsibly and recklessly to one another, as I am of the firm opinion that recklessness - even in matters of the heart - is immoral. It simply means that you cannot ever truly hold someone to account for choosing not to love you, or trying to coerce them into doing so. Love is - stepping neatly around all the sentimental smiles, sonnets and screenplays it creates - nothing more than a glorified pair-bonding process. It is from an objective point of view, nothing more than a biological process to which we have no true conscious control. We can consciously narrow down who we ideally wish to fall in love with, but we cannot ever control to whom and when that process will eventually happen.

In trying to narrow down your search, you are perhaps being a little immoral/bad, but I wouldn't lose any sleep on it, as it's just an inevitable consequence of being a mammal. That said, it could also be seen as a psychological form of hedging your bets and chasing an ideal, which from a utilitarian perspective is infact moral. An individual on either extreme (all looks, no personality; all personality, no looks) is unfortunately, undesirable. But then, that does depend on your ideal in the first place.

Personally, I need the whole package; looks and personality. Indeed, I'm selfish enough to admit it too.
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That's a really excellent post Nix.

As for myself, I have very little experience of real love so there isn't much I can share. :( However I'll keep an eye on this thread with interest after that post, thanks Nix.
 
apeZ said:
Don't you think that could work the other way round too? Enticed by personality, but then put off by appearances?
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Absoluitely. For more information, see... err most of your female friends. You know, those really great people you get on well with, enjoy being with yet are not attracted to.
 
looks don't last forever, you might want to factor this into the probability of meeting someone you might want to spend the rest of your life with
 
As most of the people here have said... I currently have a very health relationship atm... and I find her crazy hot and the most lovely personality I've ever witnessed from a human being... maybe that is why It is working out so well :p

so both looks and personality are definitely important for a healthy relationship imo.
 
I find the way you perceive a person's appearence can change upon getting to know them (as in after you find out what their personality is like).
 
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