Karl Pilkington - An Idiot Abroad

Of course it does.
When I say scripted I mean they have sat down and decided which ideas to run with and which ones to make more unbelievable rather in a Derek & Clive way.
eg hey Karl, do you know when you were talking nonsense about Chameleons, expand on it and get something in about x & y.

Duh, because people keep replying and you don't need proof it's 'scripted' or worked out - you can hear it.
Some of it is way too outlandish and goes too far.

WOHOO! It's dmpool posting his 'its all scripted' lines again. I actually do get highly entertained by it so please don't think I'm annoyed. He's a funny chap.

See now with your definition of "scripted" I can't help but think you're using the wrong verb. Even if we discard the misuse of that word and use the description alone, I still disagree. Someone else just retorted perfectly, they aired the show while writing The Office and Extras and there's no way in a million years they put any time into planing those cheap and meaningless XFM radio shows.

So mate, let's have a little fun; I hereby challenge you, dmpool, to give me your best example of a 'scripted' XFM Ricky Gervais Show conversation.

I know you're a very big fan of the XFM show so go ahead and show us what you got. I'm excluding the podcasts since they literally are asking Karl to repeat the stories for new audiences.

You've said this so many times that it's time you stepped up and truly showed us. All you have to do is:
1. give us a summary of the conversation
2. tell us the show details (date of air, season, episode length, time at which the conversation occurs, etc)

Give it your best shot mate.
 
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Enjoyed the previous show. It felt a bit pointless Merch being there though. Don't get me wrong he's great on the podcasts/xfm shows but he seemed camera shy there.
 
I like Karl Pilkington, what I don't like is that every time he says something Ricky Gervais has to laugh like it is the funniest thing he has heard ev0r.

He's like the fat kid at school that's scared of getting beat up so he laughs at everything no matter how crap.

When I saw the advert for it I thought "lol id like to watch this"

A little part of my brain went "i bet someone on ocuk is moaning about ricky laughing at karl all the time"

And there it is, thanks for fufilling my dreams :D
 
WOHOO! It's dmpool posting his 'its all scripted' lines again. I actually do get highly entertained by it so please don't think I'm annoyed. He's a funny chap.
Give it your best shot mate.

A monkey joins the Fire Brigade and climbs up ladders to rescue adult males and then goes home to bonk his colleagues wife and she doesn't even know it's a monkey.
I might have got the Fireman and Zoo Keeper mixed up but hey ho.

I only have to point at all Monkey News stories to show the brilliance of what they have worked out.
Pilkington comes out with the most ridiculous stuff while Gervais abuses him and Merchant pretends to let it carry on while Pilkington is then thinking (or already worked out) what even more ridiculous rubbish he can say while Gervais abuses him more and Merchant pretends to let it carry on ..........

I can't believe that you really think Pilkington believes his Monkey News stories.
Oh well - get out of that one.
Go on mate, give it your best shot.
 
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I saw some cartoon thing with Gervais, Merchant and I think this Karl Pilkington guy.

I could see through it pretty much from the get go. Pilkington is just good at telling stories with a straight face which comes across to some as truth.
 
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I saw some cartoon thing with Gervais, Merchant and I think this Karl Pilkington guy.

I could see through it pretty much immediately. The Pilkington guy is just good at telling stories with a straight face which comes across to some as truth.

So? Why does it need to be 100% real anyway?
 
The monkey stories are obviously scripted. Like the one I've just listened to: A couple buy a baby from the internet £3k then notice its getting hairier and it turns out they had bought a monkey and not a human baby :rolleyes:.

But the rest of the show is great. The banter between them is really funny.

BTW, does anyone know why they always have a go at Chris Moyles? I've been listening to the shows for a few weeks now and must have heard his name every other episode.
 
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Good lord!

Just watched the preview clip, and Gervais makes me want to smash his face in every time he panto-cackles after Karl says something!
 
No no wait, I literally drove back from work and Karl was reading this very same Monkey News (well one of them since you jumbled up two there).

So I'll focus on story where the zoo keeper brings home the monkey which bonks his wife.



Tell Us About This Monkey, Karl

Source
Ricky: Suede, "Animal Nitrate". That's d- d- really got a Johnny Marr influence at the end, that guitar, innit?

Steve: Brilliant.

Ricky: They still- yeah.

Steve: Still brilliant.

Ricky: XFM 104.9. Ricky Gervais, Steve Merchant, Karl Pilkington. Tell us about this monkey, Karl.

Karl: You're gonna love this one, Steve, right.

Steve: Go on.

Karl: Uhh, yeah, so last week we were talkin' about how, like, a lad left his family cuz there was problems at home and that. He went and lived in the wood, he got hairy, right?

Ricky: N- no!

Steve: Leave it there, Rick.

Ricky: Awwww.

Steve: We haven't got time to go into it.

Karl: Right, so--

Steve: That's what happened.

Karl: And that's what happened: he lived with the monkeys, he went hairy--

Steve: That's fine.

Karl: Anyway--

Ricky: N--

Steve: That's what happened!

Karl: Looked into, uhh, some other stuff about, like, hairy kids and all that.

Ricky Laughs

Steve: Yeah. Yeah.

Karl: Came across this story about a bloke, right, who worked in a zoo...

Steve: Ohh, dear.

Karl: Right? So, uhh--

Steve: Trouble's brewing.

Karl: L- lovin' his job and that. But, t- it's quite a lonely sort of job because you don't see many people, you're just dealing with animals all the time, right.

Steve: Mmm.

Karl: So, anyway--

Ricky: Well--

Karl: He get's a bit pally with a monkey cuz it's the closest thing to- to a human.

Ricky: Well, an ape is.

Steve: Right.

Karl: Yeah, but you can't really go that close to apes.

Ricky: Well--

Karl: Cuz they're dangerous.

Ricky: What do you mean? What type was it? Do you mean a chimp--

Steve: Just let him tell the story.

Ricky: Was it a chimpanzee?

Karl: I reckon it was a chimp, yeah.

Ricky: Oh, so you don't even know, so it was an ape.

Karl: It was a chimp. It was a chimp.

Ricky: Okay.

Karl: Yeah, but it doesn't matter, does it? It's a story.

Steve: So he get's pally with him...

Karl: So he gets pally with him and it's--

Steve: What, do they go on holiday together?

Karl: Nah, I mean, it starts off--

Steve: On the pull together?

Karl: It starts off just checking each other out and, uhh, you know, probably sharing lunch and that together.

Steve: Yeah.

Karl: Right? Anyway, this goes on for a while, he's, uhh- you know, they- they're gettin' on well and that. And then after a while, right, the monkey starts, sort of, imitatin' him a bit more and, sort of, walkin' upright.

Ricky: Ohh God.

Steve: Yeah. Yeah.

Karl: Right? So he thinks, "Aw, that's a bit weird". Anyway, they get on really better and what have you so he thinks, "He could- he could live at home with me, this."

Steve: Yeah.

Karl: Cuz we're gettin' on a storm--

Steve: Yeah.

Karl: Right. So he takes him home and before you know it--

Ricky: Is this the beginning of "Beneath the Planet of the Apes"?

Steve Laughs

Ricky: I think it is. I think you've seen this on video.

Karl: Well--

Steve: I- I'm worried- I- cuz he's already imitating him and they're moving in together- I'm thinking it's maybe a bit like "Single White Female".

Ricky Explodes With Laughter

Steve Chuckles

Steve: "Single White Zookeeper".

Ricky: (Laughing) AHHHHHH. Brilliant!

Karl: Right--

Ricky: Go on.

Karl: So anyway... So, he's movin' in, and it's getting used to, sort of, the- the normal human life. He's havin' a cup of tea in the morning--

Steve: Yeah.

Karl: Uhh--

Steve: PG tips.

Karl: Has a--

Ricky Cackles With Laughter

Karl: Has a, uhh- he finishes the day off with a-

Ricky: Ahhhh! Oh dear.

Karl: With a--

Steve Chuckles

Karl: Finishes--

Steve: Finishes the day off with what?

Karl: With a--

Ricky: He does- he doesn't happen to be at the piano at one point, does he?

Karl: A little brandy.

Steve: (Laughing) He finishes the day off with a little brandy?!

Karl: Yeah.

Ricky Laughs

Steve: (Laughing) What- he pours himself a- is he wearing a smoking jacket?

Ricky: You- I'll tell you what, Karl, you're- you're a maniac, mate.

Karl: Listen, listen. No- this is what attracted me, it's amazing, right.

Ricky: Right.

Steve Laughs Slightly

Karl: So, he's having his brandy and that, he's loving his life, umm--

Ricky and Steve Laugh Slightly

Karl: Next thing you know, he, sort of, umm... I don't know if he loses it or he gets shaved but the top half of his body is hairless.

Steve: Gets hairless.

Karl: Right? Apart from his head. Right, so he's got a nice little--

Ricky: So it's the opposite of the kid--

Karl: Well...

Ricky: Yeahh.

Karl: This is what I'm saying.

Ricky: Well, that- that would happen.

Karl: Right--

Steve: Well, hold on. So you don't know if he was shaved or if it fell out.

Ricky: How did it say- "Uh, then the- the hairless--"

Karl: I'll bring--

Ricky: What?

Karl: I'll bring it in for ya - the story - and then you can see if I've gone wrong.

Steve: All right. Well, keep going. Keep going. Keep going.

Karl: So anyway- so, umm--

Ricky: Well--

Karl: So this is going on and it- it- he's having a great life. Then the zookeeper starts getting a bit annoyed because... he's having a better life than the zookeeper. The zookeeper's in the zoo--

Ricky: This is such shh- rubbish.

Steve: So, the zookeeper's still got to do a day's work. The monkey's at home, he's partyin', he's got his other chimp mates around.

Karl: Well, it gets to a point when he says, "There's no point in ya comin' in to the zoo because the whole reason of you being there was because you're being kept there."

Steve: Right.

Karl: And he didn't want to bring the memories back so he said, "You stay home." So the--

Ricky: You are j- y- talking such boll--

Steve: Just let him finish!

Ricky: God! I don't know if I can sit here and listen to this drivel!

Steve: Let me- I'm- I'm fascinated. It sounds--

Karl: It's nearly- it's nearly over anyway, right.

Steve: It sounds extraordinary, Karl.

Karl: So, he's walkin' upright, he's havin' a tea in the morning, finishing the day off with brandy--

Ricky Wheezes With Laughter

Karl: Gets a bit out of hand... only tries it on with the zookeeper's wife.

Ricky and Steve Laugh

Ricky: (Laughing) Make him go away, Steve.

Steve: How does he do that?

Karl: Well, because he's around humans a lot, he becomes a bit of a charmer and uhh--

Ricky Wheezes With Laughter

Steve: But what- what is it that he can do to seduce her? Pick fleas out of her?!

Ricky: W--

Karl: It didn't say but--

Ricky: He's built. He was built.

Steve: (Laughing) Yeah. He was well hung.

Ricky Makes Guttural Sounds

Karl: So, what about- what about that?

Ricky: Well it- what do you mean, "what about it", Karl? It's obviously not true! (Pounding the Desk) It's obviously not true.

Karl: This- this wasn't on the internet, this was in a book. So, it's not a quick joke and just, "Aww, put it on a website." This is in a book.

Steve: I don't understand how the monkey--

Ricky: I love the fact that he becomes a charmer. He's got better tasting brandy.

Steve: (Laughing) Exactly.

Ricky: And he- aww. That is...

Steve: What is it he was doing that seduced her?

Karl: I don't know. I th- maybe because he was at home more than the zookeeper was.

Ricky Laughs

Steve: But what would he be doing, Karl?!

Ricky: I love the fact that--

Steve: It's not gonna be talking with her. They're not going to be playing, like, Trivial Pursuit.

Karl: Maybe- maybe she liked the silent type.

Ricky and Steve Laugh Slightly

Karl: I do- I d- it didn't go into that, it just said it- that's when the trouble started.

Ricky: (Laughing) Karl, play a record.

Karl: All right.

Oasis - "Song Bird" Begins To Play

Steve: Is that what Suzanne did when she brought you home?

Ricky Cackles

Song: Oasis - Song Bird


And from the Pilkipedia you can legally download this particular episode from here:

 
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No no wait, I literally drove back from work and Karl was reading this very same Monkey News (well one of them since you jumbled up two there).

So I'll focus on story where the zoo keeper brings home the monkey which bonks his wife.

And what saddens me is that you actually believe that Karl believes this is true.
Please say you don't otherwise it puts you in the same category as Magick.

Here's a bit of Karl brilliance -

Karl: Maybe- maybe she liked the silent type.
Karl: So, he's walkin' upright, he's havin' a tea in the morning, finishing the day off with brandy--
Karl: Well, because he's around humans a lot, he becomes a bit of a charmer and uhh--

Surely Trentlad this must be having some impact on you.
 
What saddens me is that you can't just let other people enjoy it and take every opportunity to ruin the fun and drive home your particular point of view.

And what saddens me is that you think it's OK for people to ridicule me without me saying something back?
Get off your high horse, I am allowed my opinion.
 
Oh come on let's not start any flaming here, it's just fun banter. I keep running out of time to comment about Karl's monkey news so I'll be back. Keep it friendly!
 
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