…but what the hell, reading some people’s opinions could be helpful, maybe.
Ok, so a little over a month ago, I was out on a ‘works doo’ and got chatting to a woman from work – not having drunk for years, I was pretty merry after 3-4 bottles of bud, anyway we hit it off straight away, I literally felt like I had know her for years and didn’t struggle once for something to say; the conversation between us was flowing – to this day I still think it was more than the booze.
Anyway, long story short, I ended the night kissing her (just a peck goodbye) and saying I was looking forward to seeing her again, but…… I found out during the night (****ed up by that time – so it didn’t really register) that she was seeing someone already
I later heard from my sober friends, who had commented to her that we were getting on well that night, that she had said it was only a bit of fun that night – this comment hit me quite hard a few days later and I got really down.
Anyway, after this doo we got chatting more at work, on MSN and on Facebook, it became quite clear that her relationship wasn’t all that good, she was really unhappy and from the things she was saying, it didn’t seem like her heart was in it at all. But the more we spoke, the more it became clear we had a fair amount in common; probably why the conversation together always flowed, she also (without prompting too!) mentioned that she felt she had known me for years too…
Anyway, she leaves our place (was temping) and I attend her leaving doo, we spent the afternoon together as mostly everyone filtered away, and I ended up giving her a lift home – outside her place it was clear what we both wanted to do, but I decided against it, and we just had a very long hug – I commented that I had better leave before we did anything we’d regret.
As soon as I’m home we’re both texting each other, and much like the emails and messages before the leaving doo, they are heavily laced, on both sides, with the desire to take things further. This continues over the weekend and to the middle of the following week – at which point she mentions that she’s feeling down, so I [being out and about in the car] offer to pop over to cheer her up…. I arrive at her place and we sit down and chat, a bit of touching here and there (though not sexual), and an hour or so later I get up to leave and we hug again. We’re standing there face to face…. I just said “***** it” and kissed her, and she responds back. And that’s where it starts.
Now, I’ve spent my whole adult life telling myself I would never be the person to break up a relationship, I wouldn’t want it to happen to me and I would hate it to happen to anyone else – but with this woman, I dunno, it just didn’t enter into my mind I would be breaking this promise and hurting someone else….. I think everything I learnt from speaking to her made it seem like it wasn’t a serious relationship; but maybe I’m just searching for grounds for my actions
Since this kiss we’ve met a number of times in the evenings and spent those walking around local ‘beauty spots’, we’ve spent a couple of weekend days together, and have taken ‘things’ to the next level. But the more time I spend with her, the more I want to be with her, I’ve learnt so much about her and we do share a great deal in common; so-much-so we even share odd habits, which we both laugh about
We’re always texting each other and she calls me in the mornings and afternoons on the way to and from work, she’s always on my mind, and I have even lost a great deal of interest in riding my motorcycle now, as I don’t want to do anything that might stop me seeing her… although she said she wont make me give it up 
Now I have an issue – I want to be with her, she tells me that she wants to be with me, and from our time together, I truly believe her, but, I don’t know what she plans to do [if anything] about her ‘partner’ – and it’s killing me
I managed to **** something up once before, I jumped head first into a new relationship and it backfired big time, so I have been desperately trying not to do that, which is one of the reasons I’ve not sat her down yet and asked “him or me” – I don’t feel I have the right to do that. But as friends of mine point out, both male and female, it’s my feelings in this as much as hers and I should have a right to know where I stand…. is this just fun for her, or does she see a future in it?
I know I’ll reach the answer one way or another…
Ok, so a little over a month ago, I was out on a ‘works doo’ and got chatting to a woman from work – not having drunk for years, I was pretty merry after 3-4 bottles of bud, anyway we hit it off straight away, I literally felt like I had know her for years and didn’t struggle once for something to say; the conversation between us was flowing – to this day I still think it was more than the booze.
Anyway, long story short, I ended the night kissing her (just a peck goodbye) and saying I was looking forward to seeing her again, but…… I found out during the night (****ed up by that time – so it didn’t really register) that she was seeing someone already
I later heard from my sober friends, who had commented to her that we were getting on well that night, that she had said it was only a bit of fun that night – this comment hit me quite hard a few days later and I got really down.Anyway, after this doo we got chatting more at work, on MSN and on Facebook, it became quite clear that her relationship wasn’t all that good, she was really unhappy and from the things she was saying, it didn’t seem like her heart was in it at all. But the more we spoke, the more it became clear we had a fair amount in common; probably why the conversation together always flowed, she also (without prompting too!) mentioned that she felt she had known me for years too…
Anyway, she leaves our place (was temping) and I attend her leaving doo, we spent the afternoon together as mostly everyone filtered away, and I ended up giving her a lift home – outside her place it was clear what we both wanted to do, but I decided against it, and we just had a very long hug – I commented that I had better leave before we did anything we’d regret.
As soon as I’m home we’re both texting each other, and much like the emails and messages before the leaving doo, they are heavily laced, on both sides, with the desire to take things further. This continues over the weekend and to the middle of the following week – at which point she mentions that she’s feeling down, so I [being out and about in the car] offer to pop over to cheer her up…. I arrive at her place and we sit down and chat, a bit of touching here and there (though not sexual), and an hour or so later I get up to leave and we hug again. We’re standing there face to face…. I just said “***** it” and kissed her, and she responds back. And that’s where it starts.
Now, I’ve spent my whole adult life telling myself I would never be the person to break up a relationship, I wouldn’t want it to happen to me and I would hate it to happen to anyone else – but with this woman, I dunno, it just didn’t enter into my mind I would be breaking this promise and hurting someone else….. I think everything I learnt from speaking to her made it seem like it wasn’t a serious relationship; but maybe I’m just searching for grounds for my actions
Since this kiss we’ve met a number of times in the evenings and spent those walking around local ‘beauty spots’, we’ve spent a couple of weekend days together, and have taken ‘things’ to the next level. But the more time I spend with her, the more I want to be with her, I’ve learnt so much about her and we do share a great deal in common; so-much-so we even share odd habits, which we both laugh about
We’re always texting each other and she calls me in the mornings and afternoons on the way to and from work, she’s always on my mind, and I have even lost a great deal of interest in riding my motorcycle now, as I don’t want to do anything that might stop me seeing her… although she said she wont make me give it up Now I have an issue – I want to be with her, she tells me that she wants to be with me, and from our time together, I truly believe her, but, I don’t know what she plans to do [if anything] about her ‘partner’ – and it’s killing me
I managed to **** something up once before, I jumped head first into a new relationship and it backfired big time, so I have been desperately trying not to do that, which is one of the reasons I’ve not sat her down yet and asked “him or me” – I don’t feel I have the right to do that. But as friends of mine point out, both male and female, it’s my feelings in this as much as hers and I should have a right to know where I stand…. is this just fun for her, or does she see a future in it?
I know I’ll reach the answer one way or another…
![[FnG]magnolia](/styles/overclockers/avatars/9.png){kind=avatar}
