Never thought I’d be posting one of these threads…

[Mark M]

All I can say is......


Women are strange creatures.

From my limited experiences..... I would say she is just teasing you. The only way to find out what she is really about is to give her some ultimatums or possibly play her at her own games.

Tell her you have an Ex girlfriend who is mad about you and is begging to get back with you (in fact you can even tell her you and your ex sometimes get back together some weekend just for some cuddles and chats - and of course nothing more - yea right baby..... )

Just to see her reaction.

That is terrible advice lol

No point playing games, if you like her then tell her but also stress that you dont want to be the bit on the side so can't get involved until she is single.

 

[Begbie]

Your a hangee!

 

[Judgeneo]

Ultimatum mate, its hard on both sides but its the best thing for it. you don't have to say it harshly either

 

[[FnG]magnolia]

Here's a past experience I've had years ago, heavily summarised as I need to get to work. No hot females there sadly

- Meets a wicked girl who owns her own restaurant. Finnish, of all creatures. Greek restaurant. Go figure. Used to frequent it everyday due to working in the area for three months.

- Texting and flirting ensue. Long long sessions on MSN. Yours truly turns conversation flirty and slightly sexual. *bows*. Next day she's smiling and eating me up with her eyes.

- Our contract finish, I move on elsewhere. Chatting and texting continues. She rings me up instead one day and ask to meet up in her restaurant after closing time. I did offer to do some painting work for her, I assume it was that. It wasn't. Things, behind the counter area, gets taking to a complete new level.

- I start liking her. Some what. She tells me she has a boyfriend, going steady for 9 years. Oh, ok. But she wants to leave him. (sure you do sweety).

- I detach myself emotionally, she starts running after me, wanting to meet almost every day. I kept 'meating' her for weeks and weeks but guilt gets to me after meeting the guy. Really nice fella. I did actually paint the place for her and he came in to help.

- I leave on a work assignment that would only bring me back home every weekend. I 'meet' her one last time, massively and proper, before dropping an ultimatum. Me or him.

- Never heard from her again.

Sound vaguely familiar?

I was being played. Have your fun and make an ultimatum. Anyway, the liberals can now descend upon me, I'm off

Although the story resonates on an alarming level - although she wasn't Finnish - 'Massively and proper' is my new favourite saying of the evening so it's all good

I had a ton of other stuff I was going to say - some of it perhaps of interest, most of it probably not - but regulus' post is the most typical in this situation. You kind of have to go through it to know whether you got it right or not and predictions are hard to make.

OP, decide what YOU want to do. Consider the impact your decision will have on you, her and her other lover, and then work out what you want to do about the whole thing.

 

[nicks3607]

I guess I should have clarified her ‘relationship’ a bit better, I don’t think it’s really a relationship as most would define one, more of a case of friends who live together, but have ‘that’ history.

I don’t consider myself a mug, if it doesn’t work out, I still walk away with some valuable life experiences for the future, but I know it will hurt too.

Sounds like you just need her to clarify what that relationship means, Scort - if anything. Does she act as if she's going behind this other guys' back? As if she seems to have "current history" with him?

I don't subscribe to this "once a cheater..." thing - life isn't black and white, it's fluid, and complicated, and frequently messy. You can only ask her to be as honest with you as you've been with her. Give her time, if that's what she needs, to sort things out. Give her that respect, but ask for some back.

 

[stockhausen]

… Now, I’ve spent my whole adult life telling myself I would never be the person to break up a relationship …

Sound philosophy - don't start now - what goes around, comes around.

 

[Fireskull]

Mate if you give up motorbikes for a female I'm going to come slap you

 

[Gaygle]

How hasn't her current partner realised something is going on?!

 

[wildman]

+

=

What you need to do

 

[kylew]

^ Pasty hammer?

 

[Knubje]

Mate if you give up motorbikes for a female I'm going to come slap you

Well I'm glad someone ****ing said it because I was about too!

Also, lol at regulus "Keep 'meating' her for a few weeks". *Tips hat*


Sounds like you have become very emotionally attached to this girl already, even though she is in a relationship. At the end of the day you could be out on your arse and alone if she decides to "WOMan up" and stay with her fella.

Where does that leave you? Feeling like pap with no one.

Where does it leave her? Stuck in the same relationship that "is going no where", yet she chose to stick with it over you?????

I think you need to calm it down, back off a bit, reality check and have a chat with her. Tell her you like her a lot, be honest. Don't give an ultimatum but make it clear in no uncertain terms that she will not be withdrawing any more currency from the bank of pork sword until she sorts her game out.

Don't get played fella, unfortunately from reading your post I fear the worst in your situation.

 

[Will Gill]

you sound like you are setting yourself up for a fall

get rid of the other guy, its not fair on him or you

end of

 

[BennyC]

I was in a similar situation to yourself year before last. Friend of a friend at uni I got on with like a house on fire. Lot's of physical attraction not so much in common but never an akward moment.

She had a boyfriend, irreelevant of that we had explored eachothers face cavities twice in the space of 6 months. I knew she wasn't happy with him and was staying with him because she didn't want to be alone.

I decide enough is enough and to tell her how I feel and that I want to be with her. Not in the hope of breaking them up but purely to let her know how I feel. I was expecting her to ask for some space etc not drag me into bed. Regardless of this I was uncomfortable doing anything as like you I didn't want cheating to be the cause of their break up. I stay the night and over the course of the next week we text and meet up lots etc. Nights out we were all over each other, quite literally millimeters away from giving her twins when I said that I still couldn't do anything while she was still with her bloke.

A week later I give in and smash some pasty for the next 3 weeks, she tells me she's going to leave him but can't do it on the weekend coming (valentines) bla bla bla.

Long and short of it is that I got played, she stayed with her boyfriend because she 'loved him' even though she knew it was going nowhere and just couldn't hurt him, but at the same time (ironically) couldn't hurt me either He knew we'd spent the night together. Pritty sure she told him nothing had happened and even told me she'd lie to him again if he persisted in asking and that 'I've done it before' ( in previous relationships, never been faithful, ever! Blinded by physical attraction/desire/lust as I'd usually run a mile if I heard that)

Looking back I dodged a massive bullet as she was no good for me anyway. Total flirt, loved attention and had pulled 8 other guys in the course of her 6 month relationship with this other bloke.

Basically, stop smashing it unless it's yours to smash!

Tell her you're uncomfortable about her already being in a relationship and you will not go any further with this fling.

Let her make the next move.

This too.

 

[Infam0us]

OP -

 

[Darkst4r]

If she's willing to cheat on her partner and behave innapropiately with you how can you ever trust her not to do the same to you ?

 

[psd99]

S H P!

 

[wozza2k]

She cleary has doubts about both of you, otherwise she wouldn't be messing around with both of you. Girls are idealistic and hope a person can change, and if they put time into what used to be a good relationship they aren't going to leave that easily.

The ball is in her court, you can push things by giving her a ultimatum which will either decide things or worse she lies to both of you...

Good Luck!

 

[wildman]

/snip

Basically, stop smashing it unless it's yours to smash!

/snip

This too.

Wrong logic......

stop smashing it if you get too attached and think it will go on to a relationship which will never happen which will result in feelings of being head French Connection UK'ed

carry on smashing it if you are only it in for the lusty sex nights and physical pleasure and full y know its not going anywhere other than in between the sheets for some illicit bump and grind sessions

 

[cHk4]

Put your cards on the table now before you fall in love with this women and set your self up for a big fall.

 

[BennyC]

Wrong logic......

stop smashing it if you get too attached and think it will go on to a relationship which will never happen which will result in feelings of being head French Connection UK'ed

carry on smashing it if you are only it in for the lusty sex nights and physical pleasure and full y know its not going anywhere other than in between the sheets for some illicit bump and grind sessions

V.True however I think it's safe to assume the OP is already pritty attatched and hoping that this will go somewhere. Just like I was.

Though at the end of the day if you can smash a pasty that technically belongs to another bloke and get away with it Scott free, even having him shake your hand at the end of it, then you'd be silly not to!