What advice would you give?

stockhausen said:
Picture the scene - young couple in happy, loving, long-term, stable relationship sitting on sofa in front of nice warm fire after supper and savouring a rather fine cognac - nothing on telly - no unread books lying about - "lass", feeling somewhat bored, pipes up "Apropos of nothing in particular, when I was on holiday in Magaluf without you last August, I had a wild passionate affair with a waiter; is that OK?"
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lol good sir! Just lol :D :D :D
 
Tell him to simply ask her. If they have been together for 4 years there should be a level of trust that enables them to have a civil conversation regarding his concerns.

He needn't mention any snooping about, just ask her if she met anyone, and if that is the reason she is returning.

If she tells the truth, she will mention the fella and explain he is a friend nothing more, or she will lie and say there is no-one.

It is then up to your friend to suggest he comes with her, to gauge her reaction.

If her reaction is negative then he needs to make a decision, stay and accept it, tell her in no uncertain terms it's not on, or find another shagbag.

Simple.
 
pirate said:
I am surprised too at his sudden display of courage even though it's in the form of advice because in another thread he was very worried about two people who knocked at his door twice and didn't have the courage to respond. I am glad he is still alive and kicking though.
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who? Me? :confused:
 
Depending how sure, I'd just come out with it.
They try act all mad that you broke their trust and forget they were cheating, but in the end you're still one up for not being a fool and getting two timed on.
Nobody deserves that.


You could always fake an FB account and try get in contact with him some how and see if he makes a mistake.
 
Castiel said:
Tell him to simply ask her. If they have been together for 4 years there should be a level of trust that enables them to have a civil conversation regarding his concerns.

He needn't mention any snooping about, just ask her if she met anyone, and if that is the reason she is returning.

If she tells the truth, she will mention the fella and explain he is a friend nothing more, or she will lie and say there is no-one.

It is then up to your friend to suggest he comes with her, to gauge her reaction.

If her reaction is negative then he needs to make a decision, stay and accept it, tell her in no uncertain terms it's not on, or find another shagbag.

Simple.
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I've got to say that you rarely give anything other than good advice!

I'm with Castiel - have your friend talk to her civilly, and find out why she wishes to return to the same place. If they can't be honest with each other after 4 years, maybe it's not the best relationship anyway.
 
[FnG]magnolia;17484860 said:
There is no trust and therefore no lasting relationship. He should probably find someone else who he doesn't have to sneakily check on and harbour doubts about.
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Yeah, because it's *that* easy to find a women who doesn't lie or cheat. :rolleyes:
 
OzyOly said:
Yeah, because it's *that* easy to find a women who doesn't lie or cheat. :rolleyes:
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Trust is a mutual thing. One cannot trust if the other is suspicious all the time. One partner simply ends up undermining the other.

From your comment I would assume that you have had experiences which have led you to distrust any partner, this will undermine any trust they feel toward you and lead to a break down in the relationship, either by them straying or not being comfortable being open with you.

I am not being critical, just making an observation based entirely on your remark. :)
 
Ask him to ask her if he can go with her, if she really insists on no, then tell him to let her go, and tell him to tell her then he'll pick her up from the airport when she comes back, then tell your mate, to not turn up, and that be the end of it.
 
Bebo up her myspace and on her facebook then show her the door.

No trust, no point being with her. It works both ways though - he had no right checking her facebook, as bad as each other.
 
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