Potential life change
Ok bare with me guys as I’m not usually the best at explaining things but I’m going to give this my best shot.
Some of you may or may not know that I have recently got back from a holiday in Japan where I proposed to my long term girlfriend of almost 8 years. While controversial (due to being only 23 and not living together) I feel I have made a brilliant move forward in my life and I’m slowing starting to move towards some of my life goals.
However my living situation (still living with parents) is one main thing that is holding me back with my plans of the future. I pay rent to my parents and have done every month without fail since being in full time employment. However it’s a fair chunk of my pay each month (A third to be exact). Now I have never really complained about this and I understand the importance of being able to manage my money and live within my means. However due to recent life changes (engagement etc) I am now seriously looking into putting as much money away into savings (with my fiancé) as possible in order to save for a house deposit.
Now realistically this is going to be hard to achieve and I know it’s not something that is going to happen overnight. (Please note that renting for us is not an option as we both need to be able to save as much money as possible on our pretty below average salaries, well I say “ours” she is still finishing her PGCSE teaching course of which I will touch upon more in a minute.)
Me saving a decent amount for a house deposit while paying my parents rent each month is just not possible. I pay almost a third of my wages into the household every month leaving me with just about enough money to insure and run my car whilst maintaining a standard of living.
I must note however I am clear of debt and everything i own has been bought outright and i have or pay for nothing on finance.
Now here comes the decision!
Her mum has given us a choice of me moving into her house. With a few conditions, again of which I will get too shortly.
Now this has multiple benefits, being with my fiancé, paying less rent, and gaining a little more independence to mention just a few.
It’s a pretty big house due to an extension her partner built. However her mother’s circumstances have changed as her partner cheated on her over the Christmas period and has since moved out (long story). This has left a rather large house, which is expensive to run on a monthly basis and them having little income to support it. She has a brother who helps pay monthly but he is planning to move out to rented accommodation shortly after Christmas this year with his GF, again leaving a small financial gap in the house hold.
She has offered me living space at a third of what I’m paying into my parents house at the moment in order to help save up for a house deposit, knowing that what I pay at home would make saving for one almost impossible. But also on the other side of the coin, to help them out with the financial side of running the house too.
Now I know most of you are probably thinking “Why don’t they just downsize, it’s not your responsibility to jump in and help?” To be honest I would tend to agree to some extent. However the area we live in is expensive for properly regardless of size, and the legalities of who owns how much of the property is still under discussion between her and her ex partner (as he was the main salary earner and mortgage payer – even though the mortgage is under her mother’s name, confusing i know ...)
Now on to the living arrangements, my fiancé occupies the downstairs part of the extension which includes its own bathroom and shower, study and large bedroom. Her mother has the top part of the extension which includes a bathroom of her own and again a very large bedroom. The rest of the house is a decent size living room, kitchen, dining room, 2 other bedrooms (one occupied by her younger sister of 10 years of age, and the other one by her brother who is 22) 1 bathroom shared by the other siblings, another study and a hallway.
My GF would keep the downstairs part of the extension and I would get the study converted into my “own” space, for things that I currently keep in my room. I would like to think of it as my “man room” (PC/Consoles/TV/Surround Sound) general man stuff. We would share the bedroom, have our own bathroom and use of the rest of the communal parts of the house (lounge/kitchen/Dining Room etc)
We would become independent in the respect of having to do our own cooking, cleaning and usual household things that we would do if we had our own place. Things of which (shameful to admit) I still get done for me at home with my parents.
Now while I’m all for moving out, I’m worried on how my parents will react or see the situation. My brother moved out into his GF’s house before getting enough money together to get his own half rent half buy property. And while they supported him in the latter, they were not keen on him paying into someone else’s household. Also being close to my own parents I just know they will be upset to have to let me go.
Now this is not a long term option. As mentioned before my fiancé is finishing her PGCSE course (teaching) and once this is complete she can start earning better money doing a job she enjoys. She will be giving priority housing on new builds etc due to her profession which again will help with the house buying situation. If this does not go to plan, she is already a qualified midwife at 23 and can revert back to that profession, even though she did not enjoy the stressful work and LONG hours at such a young age. (And again being an NHS profession priority housing will again be available.)
WOW Sorry for the wall of text, and it’s probably very difficult to understand, but I’m just after people’s opinions on what you would do in my situation?
Ive probably missed some key points but even im reluctant to re-read it all ...
Ok bare with me guys as I’m not usually the best at explaining things but I’m going to give this my best shot.
Some of you may or may not know that I have recently got back from a holiday in Japan where I proposed to my long term girlfriend of almost 8 years. While controversial (due to being only 23 and not living together) I feel I have made a brilliant move forward in my life and I’m slowing starting to move towards some of my life goals.
However my living situation (still living with parents) is one main thing that is holding me back with my plans of the future. I pay rent to my parents and have done every month without fail since being in full time employment. However it’s a fair chunk of my pay each month (A third to be exact). Now I have never really complained about this and I understand the importance of being able to manage my money and live within my means. However due to recent life changes (engagement etc) I am now seriously looking into putting as much money away into savings (with my fiancé) as possible in order to save for a house deposit.
Now realistically this is going to be hard to achieve and I know it’s not something that is going to happen overnight. (Please note that renting for us is not an option as we both need to be able to save as much money as possible on our pretty below average salaries, well I say “ours” she is still finishing her PGCSE teaching course of which I will touch upon more in a minute.)
Me saving a decent amount for a house deposit while paying my parents rent each month is just not possible. I pay almost a third of my wages into the household every month leaving me with just about enough money to insure and run my car whilst maintaining a standard of living.
I must note however I am clear of debt and everything i own has been bought outright and i have or pay for nothing on finance.
Now here comes the decision!
Her mum has given us a choice of me moving into her house. With a few conditions, again of which I will get too shortly.
Now this has multiple benefits, being with my fiancé, paying less rent, and gaining a little more independence to mention just a few.
It’s a pretty big house due to an extension her partner built. However her mother’s circumstances have changed as her partner cheated on her over the Christmas period and has since moved out (long story). This has left a rather large house, which is expensive to run on a monthly basis and them having little income to support it. She has a brother who helps pay monthly but he is planning to move out to rented accommodation shortly after Christmas this year with his GF, again leaving a small financial gap in the house hold.
She has offered me living space at a third of what I’m paying into my parents house at the moment in order to help save up for a house deposit, knowing that what I pay at home would make saving for one almost impossible. But also on the other side of the coin, to help them out with the financial side of running the house too.
Now I know most of you are probably thinking “Why don’t they just downsize, it’s not your responsibility to jump in and help?” To be honest I would tend to agree to some extent. However the area we live in is expensive for properly regardless of size, and the legalities of who owns how much of the property is still under discussion between her and her ex partner (as he was the main salary earner and mortgage payer – even though the mortgage is under her mother’s name, confusing i know ...)
Now on to the living arrangements, my fiancé occupies the downstairs part of the extension which includes its own bathroom and shower, study and large bedroom. Her mother has the top part of the extension which includes a bathroom of her own and again a very large bedroom. The rest of the house is a decent size living room, kitchen, dining room, 2 other bedrooms (one occupied by her younger sister of 10 years of age, and the other one by her brother who is 22) 1 bathroom shared by the other siblings, another study and a hallway.
My GF would keep the downstairs part of the extension and I would get the study converted into my “own” space, for things that I currently keep in my room. I would like to think of it as my “man room” (PC/Consoles/TV/Surround Sound) general man stuff. We would share the bedroom, have our own bathroom and use of the rest of the communal parts of the house (lounge/kitchen/Dining Room etc)
We would become independent in the respect of having to do our own cooking, cleaning and usual household things that we would do if we had our own place. Things of which (shameful to admit) I still get done for me at home with my parents.
Now while I’m all for moving out, I’m worried on how my parents will react or see the situation. My brother moved out into his GF’s house before getting enough money together to get his own half rent half buy property. And while they supported him in the latter, they were not keen on him paying into someone else’s household. Also being close to my own parents I just know they will be upset to have to let me go.
Now this is not a long term option. As mentioned before my fiancé is finishing her PGCSE course (teaching) and once this is complete she can start earning better money doing a job she enjoys. She will be giving priority housing on new builds etc due to her profession which again will help with the house buying situation. If this does not go to plan, she is already a qualified midwife at 23 and can revert back to that profession, even though she did not enjoy the stressful work and LONG hours at such a young age. (And again being an NHS profession priority housing will again be available.)
WOW Sorry for the wall of text, and it’s probably very difficult to understand, but I’m just after people’s opinions on what you would do in my situation?
Ive probably missed some key points but even im reluctant to re-read it all ...
