Facebook = life = fact

Minxy said:
Thanks guys.....just for info, I'm the she, the ex is the he. :D That saves some confusion.

I like to stay in touch with my ex's too and I only really have one where there is bad blood but that is another story.

I think dealing with a breakup is tough enough as it is yet seeing people make physical changes to their world whether it be the real one or the online one is really difficult to watch as well.

Keep those responses coming...
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Breakups absolutely suck. Not only do you not get to spend anymore time with a person, you have a whole lot of extra time on your hands to think about not being with your ex anymore!

The usual advice is to keep your mind on other things. Nothing brings you crashing back down like seeing a picture of your ex - especially if it was only a recent breakup. A lot of people need time away from their ex to get over them.

Also, if your ex has met someone else, they may feel having lots of pictures of his ex would put them off. Though I agree that anyone should take you as you are, regardless of what is on your Facebook. People shouldn't feel threatened by an ex.
 
Did you say he broke up with you, or you broke up with him?

If he broke up with you then I guess the reasons you want to stay mates with him is because you might think there is a way back in.
 
leaskovski said:
Did you say he broke up with you, or you broke up with him?

If he broke up with you then I guess the reasons you want to stay mates with him is because you might think there is a way back in.
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I think it's highly unlikely but I'd rather have him as a friend than not have him at all.
 
SiriusB said:
Just give him some time then. People do some crazy things when they're getting over someone. Do you still talk to him regularly?
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The last time I spoke to him was about a week ago. I'll give it some time like you have suggested.

Cheers all for the replies. Apologies for another crappy relationship thread. I'll try to refrain from posting anymore on this subject. Hopefully future ones may be of a happier nature :)
 
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How you doin?

I thought I would do that once in my OcUK career. Now I feel dirty :(

More seriously, for you both to remain friends you both have to want it. Sounds obvious but people don't always realise this. If it is something you both want then you will be friends. If one or the other doesn't like the idea, you will just drift apart.

It is not nice. Even when you break up you still want to be a part of their lives. They're hard feelings to shake. Plus being a man he will likely do the best he can to avoid his feelings for a while.
 
Try not to presume what you think is best. The reality of the situation is often obscured by your chemical emotions that over power logic at this time.

Take a deep breath.

Ive learnt the hard way that dealing with a breakup is not about what I/the other party wanted after said breakup.

Often, we are left emotionally exposed, but with some careful self analyses we can use these situations to "improve" ourselves.
We can spot our weaknesses and properly start to work on those, instead of forcing a friendship, feeling down, or dwelling on what our emotions are telling us.

How many people here remember breaking up with someone then thinking few years later "WTF was I doing with that person???"

Feelings towards someone are often if not always after a breakup (and often during a relationship) driven by a selfish desire that takes no responsibility for our own health. Its complete heartbreak of lost love, or wanting to pierce the eyes of the other half with knives and eliminating the possibility of them having children!! No middleground.
This is a crutch.

Only by analysing WHY we feel so helpless, can we then work on those issues we have, bettering our understanding of relationships as a whole. This leads to picking better partners, avoiding/dealing with issues appropriately in accordance to ACTUAL relevance, and being a stronger person in general.

I for one now never want to feel like I "need" another partner in my life.
This leads to trying to change the other person, in frustration of our own sitauation/being.

Chin up Minxy. Im sure you know deep down whats important.
I know its hard, but it will get better if you stay positive
 
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Just because you are still friends with your other ex doesnt mean you will remain friends with this ex or any future ex's.

I dont see why you feel the need to have him around? Just get over it and move on it was only 10 weeks.
 
JoeFX69 said:
Try not to presume what you think is best.
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This has been the cause of a lot of grief for me in the past.

The fact you are talking about it - even with a bunch of OcUKers - can go a long way to helping you deal with it. Surround yourself with friends and/or Internet people, whatever you're most comfortable with :D
 
Deluxe1 said:
Just because you are still friends with your other ex doesnt mean you will remain friends with this ex or any future ex's.

I dont see why you feel the need to have him around? Just get over it and move on it was only 10 weeks.
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Again...I don't need to have him around, it's a want not a need. Two entirely different things.

Thanks Sirius, you're very sweet and to Joe and everyone else who has posted helpful replies.
 
JoeFX69 said:
Try not to presume what you think is best. The reality of the situation is often obscured by your chemical emotions that over power logic at this time.

Take a deep breath.

Ive learnt the hard way that dealing with a breakup is not about what I/the other party wanted after said breakup.

Often, we are left emotionally exposed, but with some careful self analyses we can use these situations to "improve" ourselves.
We can spot our weaknesses and properly start to work on those, instead of forcing a friendship, feeling down, or dwelling on what our emotions are telling us.

How many people here remember breaking up with someone then thinking few years later "WTF was I doing with that person???"

Feelings towards someone are often if not always after a breakup (and often during a relationship) driven by a selfish desire that takes no responsibility for our own health. Its complete heartbreak of lost love, or wanting to pierce the eyes of the other half with knives and eliminating the possibility of them having children!! No middleground.
This is a crutch.

Only by analysing WHY we feel so helpless, can we then work on those issues we have, bettering our understanding of relationships as a whole. This leads to picking better partners, avoiding/dealing with issues appropriately in accordance to ACTUAL relevance, and being a stronger person in general.

I for one now never want to feel like I "need" another partner in my life.
This leads to trying to change the other person, in frustration of our own sitauation/being.

Chin up Minxy. Im sure you know deep down whats important.
I know its hard, but it will get better if you stay positive
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Wowsers, do you do this for a living? I'm fine and that still cheered me up! :)
 
Facebook should be deleted. It's an evil evil thing that only brings bad things.

It has ruined millions of peoples lives.
 
Tefal said:
probably got a new lass and doesnt want the "omg why have you got so many pics of your ex do you still have feelings for her" speech or has recently received it and is deleting them in hopes of peace.
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Probably this. Girls need to get a grip.
 
Minxy said:
Thanks guys.....just for info, I'm the she, the ex is the he. :D That saves some confusion.

I like to stay in touch with my ex's too and I only really have one where there is bad blood but that is another story.

I think dealing with a breakup is tough enough as it is yet seeing people make physical changes to their world whether it be the real one or the online one is really difficult to watch as well.

Keep those responses coming...
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Its not the act of removing the photos that upsets you

Its the thought of what was going through his head when it happened. Would you be equally as upset if facebook lost some of its servers by accident or something and the photos were deleted from FB ?

No

So its not the removing of the photos that upsets you. Its his emotions towards you and the sentiments it represents that does.

No shame in feeling how you do about it.
 
Worthy said:
Wowsers, do you do this for a living? I'm fine and that still cheered me up! :)
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And your comment in turn cheered me up. :) I truly appreciate it.
Im seriously thinking of becoming a counsellor/psychiatrist/something to do with Mental Health.

Nearly four years ago I had a mental breakdown triggered by a seriously volatile relationship, and witnessing Mental Health Professionals first hand at their work was truly inspiring and enlightening for me. They are heroes of mine.

Bit dramatic, but you get the idea!

Anytime Minxy.

Just keep talking about what you feel.

Someone here has a good sig.

It says something like "Know one is better than you and you are better than know one."

Helluva lot of truth in that one.
 
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Talbs13 said:
Facebook should be deleted. It's an evil evil thing that only brings bad things.

It has ruined millions of peoples lives.
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It only ruins peoples lives if they have no self control. I cannot understand why some people are literally addicted to the site, e.g. some people in my class :(

I hardly ever use Bookface and if people want to contact me, they can phone, text, e-mail or use MSN.


"Facebook = life = fact"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hspNaoxzNbs

/agrees with fozzybear
 
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