yes. i've said we'll sort something out
and you see having a partner like someone moving away is something i can never see where you're coming from with
the friend who has now split up with his gf
- Thread starter cm1179
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yes. i've said we'll sort something out
and you see having a partner like someone moving away is something i can never see where you're coming from with
It's life changing, a proper relationship marks a change in direction for most people. Friends need to accept the changes or move on tbh.
Real friends would be accepting and make things happen when they can.
Depends on the situation and the person really, I've had people who would just completely disappear and make any excuse under the sun not to bother getting in touch. Then as soon as relationship goes you the first person they ring and sob about it, only for the whole cycle to start again once they meet someone else. As far as I'm concerned those people can go **** themselves but if it's a real friend with real reasons for not keeping in touch then you can and should pick it up where you left off.
It's one of the best examples of highlighting what a fairweather friend is.
LOL, even when this guy can see how daft fairweather friends are, props for once twoblacklines
No its not. Typical muppets just looking for a fight on a night out by the sounds of it.
.... So what your saying is that
#1 You are being beaten up by a group of guys through no fault of your own, and a test of a good friend is not whether or not they rush in to help you. You would be quite happy with someone you considered a true friend standing back and watching it happen.
#2 You are judging me and my friends based on... nothing but what has been said on the internet and what it "sounds like".
Wow, no wonder you put up with fair weather friends, with arrogant judgemental and presumptuousness like that in real life, I would guess no real friends would want to be your friend so fairweather idiots are all you have left for a social life!
First up I wouldn't be in the position of being beaten up by a bunch of people for no fault of my own. Secondly I wouldn't be happy with anyone just stood by watching let alone a friend.
You have a habit of going on about people standing and banging, makes it seem like you need to do it often!
What else am I meant to judge you on if I only have you wanting to stand and bang all the time is that I notice from you?!
You have a habit of going on about people standing and banging, makes it seem like you need to do it often!
What else am I meant to judge you on if I only have you wanting to stand and bang all the time is that I notice from you?!
You never have full control of what's going on in life, there is nothing stopping you getting your ass handed to you in the middle of a club/rave or being targeted with a blow to the back of the head from no where while your walking down the street holding the hand of a pretty girl.
I wouldn't be happy with people standing by either, I don't blame them in most instances though as often getting involved would just end up with them getting it just as bad or making it worse for the victim.
Why judge an argument based on joking things a poster has previously said, instead of on the merits of the conversation itself?! You are a strange one, I do like the slogan in your sig though "Eat like a horse, train like a demon, sleep like a baby".
No not at all as long as they attempt to keep contact! I'll only be blown out so many times though.
Exactly, and in this world of increased communication ability it's not hard to stay in contact
+1
I dont have as much contact with my mates as I did when I was single but this is only natural. I keep up touch when I can but when we see each other because we are good friends, even if its been months this is no issue at all. Quick chat to see how each others lives have been getting on when he havent spoke and hey presto! things are back to normal again.
All this clingy, needy stuff is sad. Why MUST they keep in touch just for your own sake? If you dont feel comfortable enough in your own friendships without having to reaffirm them every day with a pint or a chat or whatever thats fine. Not everyone is so insecure.
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Soldato
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It's not about being insecure, it's about having respect for your friendship with people, when you live in the same town/city and you ignore your friends just because you have a partner that isn't acceptable imo, there are people out there that value their friendships, regardless of whether they are single or not, it's not hard to meet up once a month or so with old friends or still include them in your social life, tbh this thread stinks of people that are in relationships and are neglecting past friendships so are taking some of what people on here saying personally due to this, stop with the excuses.
Truth is a lot of people are selfish when it comes to fulfilling themselves, a partner gives you more fulfilment than your relationships with your friends so you **** them off because you're your getting your kicks elsewhere and you think that they should accept that, sadly a lot of people do because they would do the same themselves, but that doesn't make it right, not everyone treats friendships as frivolously.
And also on another level I think it's more healthy for a relationship if you have your own friends and hobbies and spend some time away from your partner once in a while, rather than being a hypocrite and calling people 'needy', when in actual fact many people slowly ruin their relationships because they themselves are so needy and insecure with their own partners creating a claustrophobic environment because they have no diversity to their lives any more, they find someone they love and often suck the love out of the relationship because they are addicted to their partners affections, I've seen it happen so many times.
EDIT -
*That last paragraph doesn't necessarily refer to you personally, I was mainly generalising.
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Well my 2 pence.
I split up with my GF last night. It's been waiting to happen for a while for many reasons really, I couldn't take it any longer.
I want to start seeing my friends again, but thanks to my GF....I have become a bad friend and alienated from them. One of the reasons I hated my relationship was because I wasn't with my friends. I know trying to get back in touch will be tough at first, as I too have always complained about friends neglecting each other due to gf's.
I'll let you know how I get along, but I think it's a slow process for a return to normality.
I split up with my GF last night. It's been waiting to happen for a while for many reasons really, I couldn't take it any longer.
I want to start seeing my friends again, but thanks to my GF....I have become a bad friend and alienated from them. One of the reasons I hated my relationship was because I wasn't with my friends. I know trying to get back in touch will be tough at first, as I too have always complained about friends neglecting each other due to gf's.
I'll let you know how I get along, but I think it's a slow process for a return to normality.
Because I was in love, as stupid as it sounds...I actually got the stage of where I thought I had found everything I need with her, her family and her friends as a substitute. There were other contributing factors to my decision to end it, but when most of my close friends were warning me that I'm changing to that extent....best to leave things be and go our opposite directions.
Soldato
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Isn't this what the OP's mate is doing? Saying he's busy all the time? It seems obvious his mate doesn't want to be friends any more (except when it suits him), but you expect the op to accept him back
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Isn't this what the OP's mate is doing? Saying he's busy all the time? It seems obvious his mate doesn't want to be friends any more (except when it suits him), but you expect the op to accept him back
saw him this afternoon. it's not that he doesn't want to be friends, missus or not, it's that he didn't realise that his actions have taken him out of the loop and he made no attempt to get back into whilst he was in a relationship. contact was minimal but now he wants to get 'back in with the lads'. i know what'll happen, he'll get back with her or meet another girl and it will repeat or he might realise maybe he needs a bit of no commitment fun as he's got years ahead of him to be tied down!
i would never do this to a friend, i think a lot of people don't realise they are doing it because they are so caught up in things.
I agree with this. Completely agree.
Personal perspective is that I don't "neglect" my friendships when I am in a relationship with I have been in for a looooong time now but I don't spend as much time with my mates as I used to. I will catch up at least once a month just to make sure that I stay in touch, preference is with a pint but at least by a call/few texts but I wouldn't go madly out of my way to make sure I was keeping in touch either.
With my group of friends we've been mates for a long time and none of us (at least as far as i'm aware) feel the need to constantly keep in touch. We see each other as often as possible and keep in touch as best we can the times in between.
If I dont hear from someone for a few month then get a call asking to catch up I don't take it as a personal insult for the time elapsed when they haven't been in contact, I am instead happy at th ethought that we will soon be catching up and having a good night out.
Perhaps the group of people I am mates with are more chilled out than others, I just don't really understand that people can get narked with a friend over something like this.