Children And How They Are Brought Up.

snapdragon said:
I can relate to the op's post, my old fella was of a similar mindset, me and my 3 older brothers all respected him and feared him equally, he could out drink out fight and out **** the 4 of us combined lol or so he told us

sadly it cost him his marriage to a truly wonderful woman.


None of us ever swore in the house, sure ma and pa knew that once we were out and about we'd be at it like troopers, yes we had run ins with the police now and then for relatively minor things usually under the influence and acting dumb rather than flaunting the law or being disrespectful.

We always respected the police, it was never personal, never them and us, we knew the rules and we also knew if we broke them then chances are there was a price to pay, these days prejudice towards the police seems to be bred in from day one :(

It's not just the "chavs" although they are the worst offenders, I'm seeing a great girl, she's worked hard all her life with no more than a week out of work since leaving school ( excluding maternity leave ) she has 14 yr old son who's bright and funny, works hard at school and get's good grades, he wants for nothing and considering she's been a single parent for over ten years they've both bucked the trend and are the antithesis of the single parent model.

However, I sit there night after night grinding my teeth as common little things happen, he'll call his mum a douche bag, then in the same breath his grandmother, they laugh it off at first but after 5 mins of it they'll pull him and say enough, last night was a good example, he'd been on BO on the ps3 since 3pm and at 7pm I said to his mum I think he ought to take a break, sure enough she called him down and we all ate together, he woofed his grub down in 3 mins and went back to playing.

"half an hour more and that's it" she said, two hours later he's still on it. I think a lot of parents have become lazy these days, it's easier to merely allow a status quo to continue rather than expend any energy in correcting "minor" behavioural problems.

She's talked about me moving in at some point, and whilst our relationship is great I feel this yawning chasm between what we both find acceptable in a young person / child. I've got two options either keep my opinions to myself and hope it doesn't drive a wedge between us or voice them and wait for the barrage of defensive comments about parenting.
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I can totally understand your point of view in that situation having been in exactly the same scenario. The younger boy (12 years old) used to call his mum a slang term for ladies front parts regularly. The older one when he wasnt in a dope addled haze also called her the same when they argued.

Never in my life have I been arrested or seen the inside of a police station but I can safely say I have now many times as we were constantly down the local nick bailing out the older one.

The odd thing was the kids never used the old you are not my dad trump card on me but my partner did.

We had discussed living together too but I realised that the situation was never going to change and in the end I was sick and tired of having to put up and shut up.

As much as I loved her I had to walk away as she was never going to draw a line in the sand and actually do anything to change the way they behaved no matter how I tried to reason with her.

I saw her the other day and things are still exactly the same...
 
simulatorman said:
The majority do their best, it's the minority who fail or just don't bother to bring them up.
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The majority's best isn't good enough, in my opinion. I think the main thing that is 'broken' in Britain is the lack of parenting skills and too many mothers having babies too early on without any means of supporting themselves, let along the family they're building.
 
Crawley has the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe :p

I think that they have a legal right to raise their children in the way that they want. However, I think that they have a moral obligation to raise their children in a way that won't cause uneccesary friction with the rest of society. It does disgust me in a way that people are behaving like this.
 
Von Smallhausen said:
Someone I know works for the NHS as a nurse in a children's ward.

I was told an interesting story when a young female child was admitted with an ailment and had her parents with her, described as ' chavs ' who did not work, seemingly had no intention of working and looked the part complete with with formerly desirable sportswear.

Anyway, the person I know saw the father with his daughter in the ward room and a police car was heard nearby with the sirens wailing.

The father asked the child what that noise was ad the child, about 3 years old, said ' Nee nar pigs. ' Basically the sound heard and who was in the car. This was met with laughter and praise from the father.

To add a flip side, my dad was a bit of a ' lad ' when he was younger although he died 6 years ago. He was beer and fight man during his younger days who was no fan of the police yet he was a good man at the same time and brought me and my siblings up well and wouldn't stand for any disrespect shown to others. His dislike of the police was never passed onto me by him. He also didn't blink when I said I was applying for the cops and indeed was very supportive, even paying 2 grand for me to get short sightedness corrected as my vision beforehand did not meet the requirements needed.

It seems to me that the ' chav ' is priming his kid to follow in her footsteps as one of societies takers and not a contributor although I hope I am wrong.

I would be interested in peoples' thoughts on this. Is it right that someone should effectively brainwash a child at such a young age to dislike the police or the authorities ?
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That parent is bringing up their child as they deem fit. Why should you care about that? You can't influence it.
 
Is what I find hard to come to grips with is I know a lot of people who 'dislike the police' I mean I am not a great fan either, but they have a job to do and its to catch criminals so why people dislike them for that is beyond me.
 
jaybee said:
That parent is bringing up it's child as they deem fit. Why should you care about that? You can't influence it.
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Of course he should care about it. The parents are bringing up the child to disrespect a police officer. The OP is a police officer, this means that this particular child could clash with the OP in the future.

I also think that your posts highlights a facet of today's society that is becoming increasingly problematic: isolationism. Everyone is only concerned about themselves, and keeps themselves to themselves. It's all about "Don't talk to strangers" and all that. Admittedly, one should exercise caution when dealing with the public. However, in the south there are so many people mixed together yet they don't interact. When I've been up north, where the population density is generally lower than down south, people are much more friendly to one another.
 
TheCenturion said:
Of course he should care about it. The parents are bringing up the child to disrespect a police officer. The OP is a police officer, this means that this particular child could clash with the OP in the future.

I also think that your posts highlights a facet of today's society that is becoming increasingly problematic: isolationism. Everyone is only concerned about themselves, and keeps themselves to themselves. It's all about "Don't talk to strangers" and all that. Admittedly, one should exercise caution when dealing with the public. However, in the south there are so many people mixed together yet they don't interact. When I've been up north, where the population density is generally lower than down south, people are much more friendly to one another.
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Well maybe it's a joke between the parent and child and harmless? Nah it must be that they will bring the child up to murder a police officer...what to do...I know...off to OCUK.
 
Bought up? No the vast majority are dragged up nowadays.

No such thing as common courtesy, or respect for your fellow person.

Sure there are still good folk about, but the numbers are dwindling.
 
I've always thought that contempt for the police of this sort is dangerous, because it represents contempt for not just the cops, but also law and order, justice, and the functioning of the state as a whole.
 
jaybee said:
Well maybe it's a joke between the parent and child and harmless? Nah it must be that they will bring the child up to murder a police officer...what to do...I know...off to OCUK.
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Maybe it is, then again maybe it isn't.

I think that the fact that they were chavs perhaps influences our perceptions of what they meant about calling police officers 'pigs'

Also, the fact that the father praised the daughter for saying that suggests that it's more than a joke: it's indoctrination
 
jaybee said:
That parent is bringing up their child as they deem fit. Why should you care about that? You can't influence it.
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I find it quite wrong that a child may be effectively knackered socially before the age of 5 and happy to fall it the same rut that the parents have no intention of getting out of.

Perhaps that child has a talent that will never become apparent because of the way she is brought up.

I also care for two reasons. Firstly I am a decent guy with a sense of morals and I am also paid to care in a professional capacity when it comes to the welfare of others, especially children.
 
My daughter is 7years old and I'm a single mother, unfortunatly Im not earning at this moment in time as I was made redundant. So im a single, young mum who is currently unemployed... I dont class myself as a chav and my daughter is such a beautiful, intelligent little girl. She knows to respect the police, and every other soul she comes into contact with. no one is an exception until they lose the respect they had :) I think its such a shame that there are people (too many people) who 'enjoy' teaching their children that its cool to swear, to be rude, to disrespect.

To the guy whos girlfriend lets her son play on the console all night, I feel for you as she is not showing you enough respect and working as a team when parenting, and her son will pick up on that and start to think if his mummy doesnt respect you why should he. Perhaps if you have time you could take him out to play football, or to a martial arts class to get him off the console and to bond with him and you will both earn each others respect :) After all if you are raising him as your own, its natural for fathers/sons to do activities together, and also he will come home pooped and be more inclined to sleep. Good luck with it anyway
 
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Laylah said:
My daughter is 7years old and I'm a single mother, unfortunatly Im not earning at this moment in time as I was made redundant. So im a single, young mum who is currently unemployed... I dont class myself as a chav and my daughter is such a beautiful, intelligent little girl. She knows to respect the police, and every other soul she comes into contact with. no one is an exception until they lose the respect they had :) I think its such a shame that there are people (too many people) who 'enjoy' teaching their children that its cool to swear, to be rude, to disrespect.
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I certainly don't judge you being a single mother and in the circumstances you have and I have to question the ignorance of anyone that does.

Some of the most decent people I know don't have two pound coins to rub together.
 
Von Smallhausen said:
I find it quite wrong that a child may be effectively knackered socially before the age of 5 and happy to fall it the same rut that the parents have no intention of getting out of.

Perhaps that child has a talent that will never become apparent because of the way she is brought up.

I also care for two reasons. Firstly I am a decent guy with a sense of morals and I am also paid to care in a professional capacity when it comes to the welfare of others, especially children.
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I'm simply saying you can't change what goes on behind closed doors so why worry about it.
 
doofer said:
Is it right that young children are brainwashed to believe in a Religion? Both are the same thing, adults imprinting their views (Right or wrong..) on impressionable children.
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try watching cbeebies its chock'a'block full of religious segments hindu/Islamic or what not festivals and dressing in saris or what not. yet to see any Christian or british festivals on there.
 
Laylah, I agree with what you're saying.

I've seen a lot of ignorance (not too much on this forum thankfully) of people automatically associating single mums with chavs and awful kids. It's simply not true, as you've proved.

However, very often chavs are lazy, ignorant, rude etc. They end up being teenage parents and that is a different situation where they end up being a single mother for completely different reasons. The child often doesn't get the care and environment that it needs to flourish, and the cycle just repeats itself.
 
Von Smallhausen said:
I would be interested in peoples' thoughts on this. Is it right that someone should effectively brainwash a child at such a young age to dislike the police or the authorities ?
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Going by a lot of the 'Police' threads we have on here,it looks like a lot of our own posters have been brainwashed in this way.
 
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