Unfortunately many are like this and love the attention. Silly but thats girls.
Woman advice
- Thread starter anksta
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Unfortunately many are like this and love the attention. Silly but thats girls.
Caporegime
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I would give her a call, or ask her face to face. If she says yes, you are in. If she says no, you can say "Cool, Friends?" and move on.
Either way, NO REGRETS.
At least respect for telling her your feelings though, hats off for that, it can't be easy.
Either way, NO REGRETS.
At least respect for telling her your feelings though, hats off for that, it can't be easy.
Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants. Try chatting up another girl on the course when she can see you. You might just make her realise what she wants
there is another girl on the course I'm proper friendly with, been speaking to her for ages about this. She lives in liverpool though and needs a place to stay after this party so I said she can stay at mine if she needs (in a spare room) so I was wondering what this might do to the first one as them 2 havent really spoken much.
Double edged sword though, in fact more than that because one I wanted this other girl to start making better friends with the first one so she can talk me up, which she's happy to do so if all of a sudden it looks like I might smash her instead, it sort of negates all that and would just make it look like she was sayin nice things about me because she likes me, rather than she wants us 2 to hook up.
Plus, say it went awesome and I got off with the first one, not like I can bring them both back is it, because no matter what anyone tells you, no one anywhere has ever had a 3some that didn't involve a camera and some money.
This - txts fail.
Is this a good idea though? I thought about that but does it not just boil down to an ultimatum?
To be honest though, after this party there is nothing to say I'll ever see her again so maybe I will.
I appreciate your respect but one I did it in a txt which is just about the worst possible way of doing it and two I only did it because I would have put my left leg on her returning the sentiment.
Caporegime
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What's the last paragraph about?
I am telling you that is NOT true.
Why would even say that?
I've convinced myself it is and that's how it's gonna stay, I'm having enough trouble getting one woman to reply to my texts, let alone getting 2 in my bed.
Caporegime
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LOL, why are you trying to get 2 in your bed....?
Concentrate on the first one, keep the other one mutual, which it is. Who cares if she is sleeping in the spare room? If she makes a move then think about it then.
the 3some thing is just a joke, let's move past it.
This other one is quite feisty and has just broken up with her boyfriend, some other guy on this course is proper into her, and she is/was at least a little into a different one so I've heard all about that and how she is definitely "on the rebound now" so I am genuinely a little concerned about bringing her back to mine after this night out if both of us have just spent the night talking me up to this other one.
This is so complicated, if I'd just done this in person in the first place, or not at all and just gone out with her, none of this would have ever happened.
Loads of it is pretty funny in that pathetic kind of way and I don't mind laughing about it but it seriously is beginning to get me down, I haven't exactly been celibate for the past couple of years but I haven't gotten anywhere with a girl I really wanted for a while (just check my old threads there aren't many) and I genuinely thought this was gonna be the one that got over the line. I'm not even talkin about just bangin her either, I'd be happy to take her out and just spend time with her way before we got near anything like that.
And now it just feels like this one has slipped away and all and its just an absolute nightmare. Help me OCUK you're my only hope.
Caporegime
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Acting like that is not attractive to her. I would say tell her all this but MOST girls would think that's just sad and not appealing. You need to play it like it is nothing, they like confidence, move on, or ACT like it even if you are not on the inside.
So be confident, say it to her face "Hey, you and me, lunch, I'll buy" Then ask her out to dinner, tell her its only dinner, etc etc. If she want to be friends, then be friends. You can't force her into something she doesn't want and talk about other girls with her, MOVE into the Friend Zone lol But then what choice do you have if you can't date her and don't want to cut her off?
na I'm not gona say that to her and she does think I'm proper confident as I sort of come out of my shell in these classroom type situations so she probably thinks I'm quite gobby actually.
I've done that before and told birds that I'm useless and whatnot, never works unless they're already proper in love with you or got some sort of saving complex.
The thing is though I can't say to her you and me tomorrow lunch or anything like that because I have to do it over a txt and she'll just ignore it. If I ring her she'll just think something is up or its weird, its convention now you can't ring until you're basically in.
I wish I knew what the guy who genuinely does have a pair of balls would do, I don't have a problem with doing all the first move, asking out etc. stuff it's that I dont think it will work.
This party is next week, it's in town and doesn't start til 7, the other girl says I should just leave it until then now and see what happens. The thing I'm really worried about though is just going in general, it's gonna be like -15 degrees and 25 miles away, it just sounds like it's gonna be a nightmare for a few different reasons, if this girl wasn't going I doubt I'd even consider it, I'm not a big one for going out to clubs and stuff.
that is true and even though I have no right to expect her not to just pull another guy right in front of me I'd be absolutely devastated.
EDIT: how do you go about getting improper?
![[FnG]magnolia](/styles/overclockers/avatars/9.png){kind=avatar}
Caporegime
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Jesus Christ, this, a thousand times this! Stop texting her, don't even think about facebook, pick up the phone and talk to the woman! WTF is wrong with so many of the posters on GD who can't understand why relationships don't always blossom even though they "texted and facebooked and EVERYTHING?!"
Here's what you do.
1. You dial her number on a telephone (ask a grown-up if you're not familiar with 'calling')
2. "Hi, OP here. Are you keen to go to the party on {date} which we're all going to?"
3. Her : "Yeah, sounds good."
You : "Great. Want to get the [transport] over together? Oh listen, sorry for those texts earlier, I was really busy and should have called you."
OR
3. Her : "No, I'm busy washing my hair/other obvious get-out excuse."
You : "Oh ok, no problem. Enjoy [thing that she's doing]! Oh listen, sorry for those texts earlier, I was really busy and should have called you."
4. Insert [awesome thing that you're off to do that evening/next evening].
5. Ask what she's got planned.
6. End conversation on good, non-creepy terms.
7. ???
8. Profit!
edit :
OP said:
GODDAMMIT YOU MANCHILD! STOP TEXTING HER AND SPEAK TO HER!
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I think you're over analysing things way too much. Would you consider speaking to her in person about what happened? Get her on her own and say "you've seemed a bit less chatty since I sent the text telling you I liked you. I hope it wasn't too forward but I think we get on really well and was looking forward to doing a bit of shopping at the Christmas market with you"
Mentioning drinks or a meal might sound too much like a date. Shopping sounds harmless. Don't end what you're saying with a question because she might just give a yes/no or cop out answer. Leave it open ended and let her say what's on her mind.
Mentioning drinks or a meal might sound too much like a date. Shopping sounds harmless. Don't end what you're saying with a question because she might just give a yes/no or cop out answer. Leave it open ended and let her say what's on her mind.
[FnG]magnolia;17961376 said:
yeah I think I'm gonna do these, when put like that it does sound a lot simpler.
I wasn't defending the txt thing by the way, I'm just stating fact.
My phone is knackered though and she knows it now as I sent her one the other day she said she got 6 times so I'll ring her and just say my phone is broken and wont even say send anymore so i'm ringing, that way at least I can get round that.
Then I'll do what you say and see how it goes at the party.
cheers ocuk, anyone else got anythin?
You just have to get any doubt out of your mind (just kid yourself it's not there, you'll never 'get rid of it' entirely). Then just make a move. Direct action is best. Always works for me.