Dilema

PapaLazaru · 28 Jan 2011 at 14:05

I once knew that a friend of mine's girlfriend was playing away. A few of us knew, but nobody ever told him.

He found out eventually. He asked me in tears why the hell nobody told him. I said I did not know. He drifted away from us all soon after that, probably as he felt he could not trust his friends to be honest with him.
Never again. You have to tell him. Tell him tonight.

Pestilence · 28 Jan 2011 at 14:08

PapaLazaru said:
I once knew that a friend of mine's girlfriend was playing away. A few of us knew, but nobody ever told him.

He found out eventually. He asked me in tears why the hell nobody told him. I said I did not know. He drifted away from us all soon after that, probably as he felt he could not trust his friends to be honest with him.
Never again. You have to tell him. Tell him tonight.

... and there's my experience from the other side of fence. Almost exactly.

You did the right thing Dan Dan.

aln · 28 Jan 2011 at 14:14

Good job on telling him.

Virdi · 28 Jan 2011 at 14:19

Before you tell him - are you 110% sure she was unfaithful??

rG-tom · 28 Jan 2011 at 14:31

Do as the film said.

platinum87 · 28 Jan 2011 at 14:32

Dan Dan said:
They are both friends and I dont want to be the reason they split up or upset any of them.

I'd recommend to leave it alone if the above is true.

If i was in her situation and you told on me, i would never speak to you again under any circumstances. So the way i see it, you pick his side, or ignore it and pretend it never happened.

Dan Dan · 28 Jan 2011 at 14:39

platinum87 said:
I'd recommend to leave it alone if the above is true.

If i was in her situation and you told on me, i would never speak to you again under any circumstances. So the way i see it, you pick his side, or ignore it and pretend it never happened.

But if you were the 1 being cheated on and your friend didnt tell you, you would be upset.

Dan Dan · 28 Jan 2011 at 14:42

Virdi said:
Before you tell him - are you 110% sure she was unfaithful??

As said above it was her best friends husband who let it slip. He was scared that I was going to tell him and even bought me a beer cos I said I wouldnt say anything.

When I told him though I said I dont know whether it is true but I have heard...

He just rang me saying I know she hasnt done anything its just people stirring ect.

platinum87 · 28 Jan 2011 at 14:57

Dan Dan said:
But if you were the 1 being cheated on and your friend didnt tell you, you would be upset.

Yes, but i dont know that my friend didnt tell me

boxman2000 · 28 Jan 2011 at 15:11

I'd want to know but not sure what I'd do if I was in the OP's position.

Twentyone · 28 Jan 2011 at 15:31

Dan Dan said:
He just rang me saying I know she hasnt done anything its just people stirring ect.

Well, either way someone is spreading nasty rumours about her OR she is cheating. Maybe the whole group of friends could do with a 'clean up'

:/

If I was in your position I would have told as well. If my friends didn't I would completely ditch them.

contracteur · 28 Jan 2011 at 16:30

Yeah you don't have hard evidence that she is, just heresay. What if you told him she was doing the dirty whilst in reality she wasn't, you'd lose both as friends.

Edit: Missed the post where you said you told him. Ah well

Bes · 28 Jan 2011 at 17:25

Milkybk said:
How is this even a question you need to ask? Tell your mate, if you don't you're an even worse friend than you're coming off as now.

Bit harsh it's not as easy as you make out.

He should do, but it's by no means a decision to be taken lightly