Punching yourself in the face

I was sitting in my boxer shorts one morning eating toast. Some crumbs fell on to my lap so I went to flick them off but actually flicked my nut really hard, that really hurt. :(
 
I once got analy raped by the bottom of a seat on a plane (felt like it anyway (not that id know what it felt like;))) when the idiot pilot landd really really really hard. Stupid air india
 
Having a barny with the girl friend once, lost the plot and head butted the wall in her house that hard i saw a white flash and nearly knocked myself out :) never tried that trick again :)
 
Epic tales of self-harm!

For my part, I'm managed to fall into a stationary car whilst sober (shattering my front teeth), and failed to hurdle a pile of black bin-bags in Greece whilst racing a car down a dusty gravel road (I'm a former 100m sprinter, the medics insisted I'd come off a scooter)
 
I once was in and out of sleep on my bed with my leg dangling off the side - and my phone was on loud just a few feet away... It went off and scared the crap out of me and I instantly jolted forward to get it by bringing my knee up to give me some "rocking" like momentum at the same time as moving my head forward... BANG

Kneed myself straight in the head and awoke about 5 hours later with a headache... hahaha
 
My self inflicted injuries usually happen whilst asleep, Recent one was coming out of my bedroom during the night & turning left instead of right which I've done for over 15 years. There is a step down into my back bedroom, I woke up fighting all the junk I had fell in to at 3am. :D
Prior to that I was being attacked in a dream by loads of Nazis out of COD, I kicked out & woke when my leg made contact with the wall. :eek: + :p
 
I read this thread this morning and laughed, and then later on while zipping up my jacket, my hand slipped and I punched myself in the nose...It was in a room full of people but nobody saw luckily, although I do feel like an idiot for laughing at others when they do it :p
 
My brothers former employer was a carpenter and he put a nail straight through his palm :eek:
He was wobbling a post to get it out and he hit a tree with his hand which was gripped over a nail on the post and bam, straight through. :eek:
He waited about half an hour for an ambulance and didn't even stop working
My friend also, when trying to hurdle for the first time, kicked himself in the face so hard he did a back flip :D
 
This thread is hilarious.

When at secondary school we had to play rounders in doors due to the weather, girls versus boys naturally, young girl bowls the ball to me which I hit full what only for the ball to hit her in the forehead and knocked her out.

I laughed so hard i got sent home.
 
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Oh man, I've laughed so many times at this thread in the last day or two - it was bound to catch up with me. I was just getting changed when I dropped my trousers and in my haste to grab them before they fell on the floor, I accidentally clouted myself in the plums. Damn you, karma. Damn you :(
 
My mother put a pitchfork into her foot when she was gardening years ago.

She was stood talking with the pitchfork on her welly, cant have felt it being there as they were heavy duty things. After the brief chat got straight back to work turning the potatoes over, proceeding to drive the pitchfork down into what she though was soil. As you can imagine much lols were had by all, fortunately she wasn't strong enough to drive it right through!

The silly bint.

My dad has also ran into a glass door, thinking it was an open space. Sadly I wasn't alive when that gem happened :(
 
i once was doing keepy uppy with a football and kneed my self in the mouth trying to squat and catch it on my neck :)
 
I gave my Dad a nosebleed by accident once. We were in the garden having a BBQ and my aunty and uncle had brought their dog round, he was a bit snappy and seemed to go for my hand so I pulled away from it really fast but my Dad was sitting behind me and I managed to clock him a treat in the snotbox.
 
i was trying to to the old tiger golf trick when i was younger of scooping the ball into the air with the club the baseball hitting it, let me tell you now dont ever do it with a 7 iron it come straght back and hit me in the eye, i can laugh at it now
 
Ah what an awesome thread!

I have on several occasions slid off a bar stool in a manner that left me sitting with my full weight on my sack, unable to slide further but my short legs dangling short of any purchase to push myself back up.

Recently at work I was rearranging microwave and while lifting a heavy one to the top shelf I managed to press the door release with my palm. Door swung down into my face and I dropped the lot on my head. Hurt like hell but even then I had to laugh
 
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