I need to steal my own bike...

Tute · 9 Feb 2011 at 23:10

5UB said:
No problem at all, I am glad I saved that trouble.

The RoSPA would be so proud.

mattjd · 9 Feb 2011 at 23:15

Ask a local chav to have a go at it and give him a tenner for it?

Beren · 10 Feb 2011 at 00:15

Garry1990 said:
p.s
tie bull to lock
wear red
run infront of said bull
????
profit

Genuine lols - Cheers.

Serious note... same as the others a car jack would be the easiest way. If you dont have one that will fit would be tempted to get a diamond tipped drill bit and drill the lock.

Margaret · 10 Feb 2011 at 03:20

Show the lock this thread.

jak731 · 10 Feb 2011 at 03:36

http://www.toolstation.com/shop/p37203

36" ought to do it.

ThePirateHulk · 10 Feb 2011 at 06:03

Get chuck norris to lick it. His saliva will be through it in seconds.

dbov22 · 10 Feb 2011 at 08:37

just walk down to your local "bad area" with nothing but 5quid and crap shoe laces and pay some little ****bag 5 quic to come and do it for you, or just hire an angle grinder, or handcuff yourself to the bike, call fire service ask them to come and cut off the cuffs and "oh lads...while you're on, can you just snip that lock off?"

Cosimo · 10 Feb 2011 at 08:56

qqg3 said:
Or do I need to find someone with an angle grinder or something?

Have you manged to sort it out?

Chicken #16 · 10 Feb 2011 at 15:30

Post it on ebay as buyer collects - Lock included

A.N.Other · 10 Feb 2011 at 15:49

Garry1990 said:
Worst "i saw a nice bike with a dlock on it and want to steal said bike" post ever

p.s
tie bull to lock
wear red
run infront of said bull
????
profit

Cattle can't actually 'see' red - they're red/green colour blind. That's just a popular myth resulting from bull-fighters' penchant for a spectacle.

infernox · 10 Feb 2011 at 16:46

A.N.Other said:
Cattle can't actually 'see' red - they're red/green colour blind. That's just a popular myth resulting from bull-fighters' penchant for a spectacle.

there more inclined to attack you if your wearing purple.

dbov22 · 10 Feb 2011 at 17:56

bulls go for the movement and not the colour, you could be wearing a white frilly dress and wave it in air, it'd still work!

Hamoodii · 10 Feb 2011 at 17:59

Same thing happened to some guy, fire brigade sorted him out

Le_Petit_Lapin · 10 Feb 2011 at 18:00

Hire Chuck Norris and have him rub his beard on it, better than any angle grinder.

clv101 · 10 Feb 2011 at 18:06

5UB said:
...or even being arrested for stealing your own bike.

So you're sat there hacksawing your way through your own lock, to get your own bike back, and a policeman walks up. He asks what you're doing and you tell him. He doesn't believe you and instead suspects you of stealing the bike.

What happens next?

Le_Petit_Lapin · 10 Feb 2011 at 18:07

clv101 said:
So you're sat there hacksawing your way through your own lock, to get your own bike back, and a policeman walks up. He asks what you're doing and you tell him. He doesn't believe you and instead suspects you of stealing the bike.

What happens next?

You end up with a couple of wasted hours at a Police Station?

Djdom56 · 10 Feb 2011 at 18:07

As has been mentioned a few times:
Car jack
Bolt cutters (worked for me in similar issue)
Last resort is angle grinder imo

clv101 · 10 Feb 2011 at 18:40

Le_Petit_Lapin said:
You end up with a couple of wasted hours at a Police Station?

I've got no proof my bike is mine, lost the receipt years ago. Say the policeman had literally been sat in his car watching me cut through the lock and start to ride away - how would I prove my innocence? I could phone my girlfriend or many one or two mates who would recognise the bike as mine - but then the policeman could say we were collaborating to steal the bike.

Or if I really was a bike thief, how do I convince the policeman to let me off scot-free!

OzyOly · 10 Feb 2011 at 19:09

clv101 said:
I've got no proof my bike is mine, lost the receipt years ago. Say the policeman had literally been sat in his car watching me cut through the lock and start to ride away - how would I prove my innocence? I could phone my girlfriend or many one or two mates who would recognise the bike as mine - but then the policeman could say we were collaborating to steal the bike.

Or if I really was a bike thief, how do I convince the policeman to let me off scot-free!

How do they prove it's not your bike?

Le_Petit_Lapin · 10 Feb 2011 at 19:45

clv101 said:
Or if I really was a bike thief, how do I convince the policeman to let me off scot-free!

Well they'll take your name and address, and a description of the bike they suspect you of stealing, and should anyone report a bike being stolen matching the description of your bike, they'll know where to find you.

They arent doing to do you for stealing your own bike!