True, and hey, thats just a fault of mine that I have to work on. But as you can see I have my reasons for it. Hey, Im not one that stays up waiting for her to get in and gives her **** when she does come in. I just prefer that she doesn't go to clubs. Its up to her if she wants to go or not but she just knows that I dont like her going to those places. As much as she doesn't like me going out with my mates too much.
Le relationship thread (keeping it short)
- Thread starter regulus
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True, and hey, thats just a fault of mine that I have to work on. But as you can see I have my reasons for it. Hey, Im not one that stays up waiting for her to get in and gives her **** when she does come in. I just prefer that she doesn't go to clubs. Its up to her if she wants to go or not but she just knows that I dont like her going to those places. As much as she doesn't like me going out with my mates too much.
Thats a load of rubbish. A hand wave response if ever i saw one.
Since when did 'love' come into it. Why else do people have affairs when they have a perfectly good woman/man at home.
I'm inclined to side with Rhaos on this one, since he actually appears to know what he's talking about -as opposed to what looks like a lot of keyboard warriors going on like they know it all ..... yet are usually the same kind of people who turn into teary messes being talked down off tall bridges by the police when their 'perfect' relationships turn sour.
I think the whole 'not letting' your girlfriend go a club is span a little out of proportion a bit. I very much doubt he's physically preventing her from going out - But its more a case of understanding what HIS rules and standards are. Now let me ask you, is that so much of a bad thing?
So many men have spent their lives being brow beaten by a generation of women that they have done something 'wrong' for hundreds of years, that they are afraid to actually have a few ground rules that women have no problem about laying down. Why else would you have men whingeing about the whole 'she was in a photo with a man and hit the roof when i said something, but when i was seen in a picture with another woman she went ballistic' type things.
When did love come in to it? We're talking about relationships aren't we?
People have affairs because they are not happy with the situation at home, they don't "just happen". I don't really get what you are trying to say?
Also, women are not there to be controlled, so yes, it is a bad thing imo.
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I guess Im coming across like that in the posts, however I'm not really. Theres a differnece between my not wanting her to do something and me forcing her not to do something. I don't force her into do anything. Just becaiuse I dont like her going to clubs that doesn;t stop her from going. She just knows that I prefer her that she didnt go to clubs and because of that I guess she tends not to go. I don;t make her not go. But because we have a healthy relationship and I do things for her and she does things for me I guess she respects that and knows it a pet hate for me. Likewise, there are one or two thingsthat ***S her of that I did in the past that I no longer do. Its give and take.
Soldato
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Love can have nothing to with it, people are animals and have animal instincts, you have been socially conditioned to believe that.
Exactly. If I want to go out with my friends, I do. If she wants to go out with hers, she does.
It doesn't bother me if she goes to clubs or whatever without me, why should it?
We're in a secure and trusting relationship afterall.
Basically my point. Thanks for explaining it better than I could.
I think he's getting at the fact that it does bother you, and it really shouldn't if you trust her.
You are deluded if you think its as simple as that.
The OP is a classic tale of what looks on paper to be a GOOD relationship - So why is his girlfriend unhappy then?
Love and attraction are two different things, otherwise you would be in the front pages of the papers with your mum being banged up for being a paedo.
No doubt she LOVES him, which is why its series of ON/OFF tears and joy, but why does she find herself going out with her single friend and enjoying being on the circuit again.
In all this - there are some lessons to be learned about what makes the other sex tick. This pathetic idea that we all become experts overnight from conversations in the pub with other blokes, and cornball TV shows and movies ..... is what gets people in these situations in the first place.
The OP is a classic tale of what looks on paper to be a GOOD relationship - So why is his girlfriend unhappy then?
Love and attraction are two different things, otherwise you would be in the front pages of the papers with your mum being banged up for being a paedo.
No doubt she LOVES him, which is why its series of ON/OFF tears and joy, but why does she find herself going out with her single friend and enjoying being on the circuit again.
In all this - there are some lessons to be learned about what makes the other sex tick. This pathetic idea that we all become experts overnight from conversations in the pub with other blokes, and cornball TV shows and movies ..... is what gets people in these situations in the first place.
If she knows you don't want her to do it and she has a conscience then what's the difference?
Soldato
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That's still something you should work on, so that it doesnt bother you.
Everyone is in agreement that things were not ideal.. hence how regulus has now promised to do more with his girlfriend. I can't see anything else more obvious in this thread, other than your scorn from a previous relationship gone sour and Rhaos' inability to talk to women until he read a book by some wannabe pimp.
It was the best thing that ever happened to me. No scorn here 
From personal experience it showed me WHY i knew i didnt have to 'do more with my girlfriend' which you hear quite a lot of these days.
Ironically, this is being discussed on a forum where the classic stereotype (if you want to stick in stereotype mode, as you are) is of freakish men, hiding behind computer monitors pretending to be winners in a 'virtual world'. If there ever was a sub culture more suited to this kind of information sharing - this is it!
Its a good thing you entered into this world knowing everything there is to know. How about you take your Yoda like wisdom and spread some around for the betterment of humanity, as opposed to doing the old 'sarcastic condensed summary' which nobody has seen about a zillion billion quadrillion times on the internet on forums.....
From personal experience it showed me WHY i knew i didnt have to 'do more with my girlfriend' which you hear quite a lot of these days.Ironically, this is being discussed on a forum where the classic stereotype (if you want to stick in stereotype mode, as you are) is of freakish men, hiding behind computer monitors pretending to be winners in a 'virtual world'. If there ever was a sub culture more suited to this kind of information sharing - this is it!
Its a good thing you entered into this world knowing everything there is to know. How about you take your Yoda like wisdom and spread some around for the betterment of humanity, as opposed to doing the old 'sarcastic condensed summary' which nobody has seen about a zillion billion quadrillion times on the internet on forums.....
Soldato
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The phrase i like is, "the man who thinks he knows everything, knows nothing".
You should never be afraid to ask, to share or to learn. Talking about pick up on internet forums inevitably has people pouring scorn on you, but maybe someone reading this thread has decided to look into it and it will better their life as result, it has improved a lot of people's lives.
You should never be afraid to ask, to share or to learn. Talking about pick up on internet forums inevitably has people pouring scorn on you, but maybe someone reading this thread has decided to look into it and it will better their life as result, it has improved a lot of people's lives.
Soldato
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I love all these keyboard psychologists. Brilliant.
Soldato
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If you mock people who offer advise on the internet, why then would you ask for advise on the internet?
So true, Im aware that but I dont loose sleep over it, its probably got a lot to do with the fact that Ive now got a really pretty GF and she gets a lot of attention, even more so than any of my past GFs. But I dont admit anywhere that Im perfect and that I know everything. You yourself even come across as if you know a little on the topic of pick up. Hell Id even be prepared to sit down with you and chat about it and get your thoughts on it.
DJ-Jestar, chill dude, not sure what your issue is with me but go sue me for trying to improve my life and make myself a better person than I was. It worked for me and Im reaping the rewards from it and have done for a number of years now. I'm a lot happier now and a lot more confident. And the people I have met through it all will tell you the exact same thing. That can't be bad can it?
If anything, and like I explained in the previous post, apologies for not being able to put my point across in a manner that had all the information in it that you required in order for you to understand what I was trying to get at.
BTW reading the book was the start, there a lot more to it than that, a lot of time and effort has been put into it not to mention money for workshops/classes. If you want to change you need to put the effort into it.
Associate
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Most people who are spouting PUA stuff in this thread are correct to a degree, i used to think the same thing (yes i know quite a bit in this) but trust me when i say this guys, you will NEVER EVER understand love untill you have been in it, true love not puppy dog rubbish, and yes LOVE overides all animal instincts, thats why people will die for their love etc as its stronger than the strongest of all animal instincts and that is survival.