Do we all aspire to marriage/kids?

Maximum Triceratops said:
£10000 per year? no where near that for me, that means I would be spending 20k a year on my 2 kids.
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Nowhere near that for me either. I reckon whoever did that maths had an agenda ..


As in

'Oh they're going to need an extra bedroom per kid and an extra playroom and by the time the kid is 12 they're going to need an en-suite bathroom so they don't have to share .. and the kid will need a brand new car when he passes his test theres £120K for a start ....'
 
Lysander said:
I've always said never to kids. Seeing as I'm 31 I doubt this will change without a brain transplant.
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My aunty was around that age and said she never wanted kids... Cue finding the right person and now has a 4 year old and a 2 year old (shes 42)

I'm 26 and at the moment marrage and kids seem a million miles away, however as a few of my friends have found out, kids are not a million miles away at all
 
You're right Britboy. I tried not to say never in my opening post because I know for a fact, 5,6,7 years down the line I could change my mind on both matters.

I'll be the first to admit it probably stems from insecurities. I wasn't brought up in the nicest of environments, filled with abuse, divorce, abandonment and whatnot. I won't state any of my guesses from my GFs side.

In terms of marriage, I'd need to know with 100% certainty that she was the person I was going to be with for the rest of my life. However, there's so many variables that I couldn't possibly ever know that. Which in a sense, makes me insecure about the prospect.
 
don't have a paternal bone in my body, & pretty damned indifferent to marriage as well, & seeing as how i'm 46 now i reckon i'll stay that way as well :p
 
To answer the OP's question: No!

While marriage might remain an outside possibility, kids are much more remote! I have enough trouble looking after myself to contemplate bringing into the world a new life entirely dependent on me (and my partner of course!) and can't help but despair of those that do without a second thought... (those 'baby factories' in the Sun etc..)

I would honestly say my 'aspiration' now is to enjoy life as best I can and make the most of every experience...
 
JonnyT said:
I would honestly say my 'aspiration' now is to enjoy life as best I can and make the most of every experience...
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Exactly identical to my aspirations until the age of about 30/31.

Then, through no desire or need or requirement or plan, my aspirations changed. I wanted the missus and the family more than I wanted to see the pyramids all of a sudden!! Believe me - if old people wanted to go clubbing and get out of their faces and have 1 night stands they would! But your brain changes as you get older .. its almost bizarre .. I think the older you get the more you just kinda chill...!
 
This idea of what's "normal" drives me absolutely spastic.

I don't want to get married. It's not taken seriously these days anyway. Blame celebrity culture for that. No one marries for life anymore.

Also, I do not want kids. Period. However, I constantly get the line of, "you'll change your mind" etc etc... No! I do not want to spend all my spare time changing nappies, feeding a screaming kid in the wee hours and so on! I don't want the 18+ year commitment of looking after the fruit of my loins. I don't believe in reincarnation/heaven/hell, so I want to have as much fun as possible in my lifetime, see the world, experience different things without being tied down. I also don't want to ruin any child(ren)'s life/lives when I get old and get to the stage where they feel guilt tripped into looking after me.

FTR: I absolutely adore my 10 year old niece and 9 year old nephew and spend a lot of time with them. I'm grateful for the opportunity to do this without the responsibilities! :)

Why does everyone else try to convince you that you are a freak when you say you don't want a "normal" lifestyle? :(

EDIT: As for the post above: I've hit 30 now. Since I was 12, I've always known my own mind and aspirations (had to grow up quickly). When I'm set on something, I know it's what I want. :)
 
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Lysander said:
But I'll also say that if you don't want to marry the person you're with, you don't love them enough.
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I don't agree with that at all. Some people think marriage is a meaningless waste of time and money. I'm sure there is a lot of unmarried couples who are more in love than married couples.
 
Can I also ask where all you guys are finding the women that don't want kids, because I've split with 2 girlfriends now after the "children" conversation... Every single one I meet wants to multiply rapidly. :(
 
britboy4321 said:
Nowhere near that for me either. I reckon whoever did that maths had an agenda ..


As in

'Oh they're going to need an extra bedroom per kid and an extra playroom and by the time the kid is 12 they're going to need an en-suite bathroom so they don't have to share .. and the kid will need a brand new car when he passes his test theres £120K for a start ....'
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Maximum Triceratops said:
£10000 per year? no where near that for me, that means I would be spending 20k a year on my 2 kids.
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That's what the Guardian says: http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2011/feb/24/cost-of-raising-child
 
Marriage, i have no interest in, if i might the right girl and she wants to then fine, or for tax reasons etc. But its just a piece of paper imo. Kids, dont want and wouldnt be fair having a family with me picking up more and more dangerous hobbies and dont have a particularly safe job in mind. Toss in the fact I hate being in the same place too long and kids are a silly idea.

If i break my self sufficiently so that i have to give up my hobbies then maybe my mind will change who knows. Got plenty of time im only 21, put far far too much though into this tbh
 
Tombstone said:
I've married for life.
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Good for you, great sentiment. :) (honestly, I'm not being condescending).

However, what I was getting at was the "For richer, for poorer. For better, for worse."

People don't seem to work at fixing things anymore and just see divorce as trivial and an easy way out. I've seen it so many times that I wonder what the point is. :confused:
 
PianoBasher said:
Good for you, great sentiment. :) (honestly, I'm not being condescending).

However, what I was getting at was the "For richer, for poorer. For better, for worse."

People don't seem to work at fixing things anymore and just see divorce as trivial and an easy way out. I've seen it so many times that I wonder what the point is. :confused:
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Yep, done (and still am doing) the richer , poorer, better , worse. Fixed all the inevitable bumps we've encountered and soon to celebrate our silver wedding anniversary and still going strong.
 
Jambo said:
I don't agree with that at all. Some people think marriage is a meaningless waste of time and money. I'm sure there is a lot of unmarried couples who are more in love than married couples.
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Of course you disagree, because you haven't found the right person. And those people haven't either.
 
I'm with Jambo on that one. I'm happier than I've ever been and never felt this connected with a single person. It's been perfect for years, I don't need a piece of paper and a ring to declare my love, everyone can see it.
 
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