I think my estranged wife may be selling my belongings on Ebay
- Thread starter sxndy
- Start date
Buy one of your things back and ask to collect to save postage. Video it and save all correspondence. Evidence
nice thinking
Hi sxndy i'm in a very similar position to you. Its not nice when things get nasty. I would say contact a solicitor as seems to be the general say on OcUK.
What i'd recommend doing (if you can't afford a solicitor (i can't)) is just call your local courts, explain the situation and what you want to do. The court clerks won't be able to advise you on what to do, but they can tell you what forms you would need and give information on what needs to be included (but not how to write it). These can be found from on the HM Court Service website.
The next step in this is to gather your evidence, receipts, pictures (if you have them) ebay auctions showing your stuff being sold, by whom and when. It has to be rock solid. Once you've got that evidence then you need to call solicitors and ask if possible for some free advice over the phone. I've called way more than 30 local to me, most won't give advice and will insist on a meeting. However i've managed to get tidbits from most of them and its proved very useful.
For example i've raised a contact order on my own, and am currently progressing through the courts to sue my wife. Its very difficult on your own and may take a month or two longer than a solicitor but the cost saving it does it phenominal.
I'd also definately consider starting to work/move towards a clean break agreement (Deed of Separation) this will allow you to have a more firm standing with the situation and should help back you up for future instances.
With regards to your children, are you paying maintenance through the CSA or do you have an agreement with your wife to pay mortgage in lieu of maintenance. If its the latter i'd be very very careful. In my opinion if you are paying maintenance through the CSA then you will need to ensure that she pays half the mortgage. This can be done on a semi-annual basis. The smartest thing i've been told by a court clerk is "saying i don't have money to pay is no excuse for paying a liability".
Good luck if you don't get back!
Associate
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- 19 Jan 2011
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- 250
Good luck OP. Sounds like a crap situation to be in.
Thanks for the great advice. I pay child maintenace through the CSA, she demanded this through a letter to my lawyer and the CSA contacted me soon after. Good thing is that I pay her a lot less because of this than when I was sending her house keeping cheques every week. (I sent her money every week of my own back because I wanted to make sure the morgage was getting paid and the kids had food, never missed a payment)
I pay the morgage of my own back now because of the reasons given earlier (mostly because there is a bit of money tied up in the house and if the banks sold it the return would be crap). She has no job although she is fully trained in a decent profession. She could get a job easily if she wanted to but won't due to what imo is non-existent medical reasons. She also has a built in babysitter as I had built a granny flat onto our house a few years back for her mother to live in.
I have been staying away from my lawyer because I don't really have money to pay him and £2k later I am no-where.
Anyone got any razorblades?
In all truth, I think I am happier now than I was when living with her.
I just want my stuffs not to be sold and to get them back.
Consider how much you have paid in mortgage payments and interest in the last two years versus how much you would lose if the bank auctioned it off. Sounds like she is living very comfortably off of your hardwork. Maintenance payments, mortgage paid for and possibly selling some of your belongings on top....
If it were me i'd rather take the hit and get some cash back. What is the use of having equity in a house if you can't do anything with it? Outlook for house prices is not the most positive so there is no guarantee that it will be any higher this time next year.
If it were me i'd rather take the hit and get some cash back. What is the use of having equity in a house if you can't do anything with it? Outlook for house prices is not the most positive so there is no guarantee that it will be any higher this time next year.
Soldato
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- 26 Dec 2005
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- Paisley
Thanks for the great advice. I pay child maintenace through the CSA, she demanded this through a letter to my lawyer and the CSA contacted me soon after. Good thing is that I pay her a lot less because of this than when I was sending her house keeping cheques every week. (I sent her money every week of my own back because I wanted to make sure the morgage was getting paid and the kids had food, never missed a payment)
I pay the morgage of my own back now because of the reasons given earlier (mostly because there is a bit of money tied up in the house and if the banks sold it the return would be crap). She has no job although she is fully trained in a decent profession. She could get a job easily if she wanted to but won't due to what imo is non-existent medical reasons. She also has a built in babysitter as I had built a granny flat onto our house a few years back for her mother to live in.
I have been staying away from my lawyer because I don't really have money to pay him and £2k later I am no-where.
Anyone got any razorblades?
In all truth, I think I am happier now than I was when living with her.
I just want my stuffs not to be sold and to get them back.
Have you told the CSA that you are paying the mortgage on the house she is living in? This can be used to reduce the payments you are making in case you didnt realise this, they will take into account when calculating but only if the person informs them.
Soldato
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- 26 Dec 2005
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- Paisley
I have about 35k equity in my house, we did try and sell it but were unable to (no interest) so I ended up giving my wife the house which has saved a lot of hassle, its maybe an option for you depending on how much equity you have (by the time we split the house, fees, and early redemption we would have got about £6k each, when i looked at it that way, her paying the mortgage for 6 months was about the same as id end up with and could take years to get there).
Thanks for the info,
I did tell them at the time. They told me it made no difference!
I called my mum and told her about the advice I have been given here (the need for a clean break agreement and such) Before I finished telling her she told me to go ahead and get it all done and she will pay (she hates my wife).
Thanks for all this, it has motivated me to get off my ass and do something about it.
Soldato
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- 26 Dec 2005
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- Paisley
Maybe its to do with arrears, my girlfriends ex got his arrears reduced when he challenged what the CSA said he owed, as she moved out the ongoing payments he is supposed to be making were changed anyway but as he doesnt pay anything anyway its a moot point.
Why is she living in the house whilst you're paying the mortgage? You're getting financial contributions from her, right?I have nothing of hers. I am still paying the morgage for what was our home and is where she is living, as I know if I don't it will end up getting autioned by the bank and I will end up loosing out.
My Lawyer told me that when the divorce gets sorted, she will most likely get to stay in the house anyway, until the kids have finished their full time education. Which makes sense but kinda messes things for me.
If I had evidense that she is selling my stuff, or any stuff that was bought when we lived together for that matter, i'm sure my lawyer would be able to do something about it.
Could I make money from selling the rights to this story?
I get nothing from her; haven't even spoken to her for over 2 years.
I have called a lawyer and will start getting it sorted out next week.
Fingers crossed it won't take too long to get fixed.
Soldato
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- Paisley
These things arent always easy to do, its easy to say what you would do, but what if you couldnt get your house sold? What if you needed the money out of your house to move on with your life and couldnt afford to reduce it or worse still, you had no equity in your house?
What would you do then?
I have asked for my stuff through my kids, but sadly there is always an excuse why I can't get them (locks broken on shed doors and such). In theory I could go and take them, but that would only hurt the kids as they wouldn't understand what is going on. I have to be careful because it is them that tend to suffer as she uses them as tools to get her own way and justify her actions.
I have tried, but I feel i'm wasting my time and she gets pleasure out me not getting what I want.
I did get my pc out, which was great and the kids have their own pc and laptop that I got them which is a good thing as I feel they are not missing out.
Main thing is my stuff has prolly been sold.
Soldato
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- 22 Feb 2008
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Sweet Jesus. How the hell have you allowed yourself to get into that position? Is your name Matt? 'Cause you're being walked all over like one!
You're paying the mortgage where SHE lives? For TWO YEARS? Are the deeds in your joint names? If so, get the mortgage statements, get in touch with the bank, get her off the deeds and kick her ass out.
Hey presto, your stuff's still there when you move back in!