I'm potentially screwed...

I think it's best just to go and find your girlfriend and tell her that 'It's not you, it's me.'

Then run.

It's drastic, but should distract the family for a bit and get you out of a sticky situation, of which there is simply no hope of salvation. :D
 
I just have to ask, if the kitchen is pathetically weak, or you are strangely aggresive when it comes to washing up?

Jcb33.
 
Say you trip and fall a lot. Then look at your gf with a scared look on your face.

Note: You may need to punch yourself in the eye to make this seem more realistic.
 
Its simple enough, first of all you need to find a baseball bat or something which could pass as a weapon. A gun would be even better (might wanna talk to Asim about that)
Next you stand by the cabinet door and open it as hard as you can onto your face, try and make the edge hit you in the eye to achieve the black eye. This adds to the realism.
Next go to the back door and smash the window of it with the baseball bat as it would show how this burglar managed to get in to the house.
Now you simply make a lot of noise and stagger out of the kitchen and say that someone broke in and you fought them off gaining control of the baseball bat and then they just ran for it.
 
Reginald said:
It's not a door....it's on the side of one of the bloody cabinets :(
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Nip into the dining room, do a dump on the table, dirty protest right around the kitchen, then smash a window (from the outside inwards) and phone the police, claim the phantom crapper of ye olde london towne has returned.
 
Ahhh ****, I've just posted all of the above from my GF's account. I'm the guilty one here :rolleyes:


jcb33 said:
I just have to ask, if the kitchen is pathetically weak, or you are strangely aggresive when it comes to washing up?

Jcb33.
Click to expand...

If I'm doing a woman's job then it needs to be done with maximum manliness and efficiency. If a cupboard directly next to the sink gets in the way, then its clearly going to take my wrath.:p
 
When they get home leave the house and let them spot the dent. While out, get hold of some mercury and return to the house.

Pour the mercury through the letterbox shouting 'John Connor???'. They will be too terrified to care about the dent.
 
Reginald said:
My girlfriends parents have just had an expensive new kitchen fitted, White veneer cabinets, slate tiles etc. etc.

However, I stupidly broke the cardinal rule of letting the woman out the kitchen and did some washing up myself. 10 minutes later and I've just taken a chunk off the edge of one of the veener cabinets with a bloody saucepan. Its only a small mark, but her mum will spot it instantly. :eek:

Here's where you guys come in. What the hell can I use or buy to fix it?!
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Well played mate :).

Now you will never be allowed to do anything in the kitchen ever again, many men would pay for this sort outcome.....every cloud has a silver lining and all that ;):p.
 
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