Need someone to draft a killer complaint email for me

Buchanan0204 said:
Maybe he's just not the greatest with words and wants someone with excellent english skills to right him a "killer" letter that management will take seriously.

Am I right OP?
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Then at least make the effort by having a go and let people correct it.....
 
Christ.

I think I went faster on my under 17's track day in a Ferrari 308 convertible!

What an absolute piece of ****.

Anyway, for the complaints letter, keep it short and to the point.

Dear ....

I am writing to complain that the track day I was given as a gift was nowhere near as described. I am therefore unfortunately going to ask for a refund. I will be able to provide video evidence of how, even though the company is branded as "6th gear", that I barely got out of 4th.

Regards, ....

How's that?
 
Shayper said:
Christ.

I think I went faster on my under 17's track day in a Ferrari 308 convertible!

What an absolute piece of ****.

Anyway, for the complaints letter, keep it short and to the point.

Dear ....

I am writing to complain that the track day I was given as a gift was nowhere near as described. I am therefore unfortunately going to ask for a refund. I will be able to provide video evidence of how, even though the company is branded as "6th gear", that I barely got out of 4th.

Regards, ....

How's that?
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Rubbish.

Why isn't it as advertised? What didn't you enjoy about it? Why are you asking for a refund? What does the video evidence show? Etc etc etc...

You can't just write a short sentence or two and ask for a refund without stating why!
 
I think you just need to express your disappointment and show that you were not alone in your views, then link them to this thread, or the motors one.
 
I can tell that none of you know how to complain.

Your complaint should politely walk towards a crossroads - one way is a complete refund and apology, the other is the destruction of their business.
 
What incentive is there for me to help you with the complaint? I'd normally offer my services for free, but I'm busy this week so want something in return.

I have a pretty good track record with these things.
 
PMKeates said:
I can tell that none of you know how to complain.

Your complaint should politely walk towards a crossroads - one way is a complete refund and apology, the other is the destruction of their business.
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Indeed, and you'd have to be an idiot to take the latter road ...
 
Dear MAN I PAID A LOT OF MONEY TO,

I regret paying you all of that money and in hindsight, I made a ****-bustingly colossal mistake. But let's not focus on my inability to do something properly, let's focus on yours!

Can I please, pretty pretty pretty please, have some of my money back? I have no real reason to ask this of you but I'd be able to buy some sweet stuff if you said yes and whilst this would not teach me any life lessons it might, I don't know, help ... people ... in Africa, or something?

Yours,

USELESS MANCHILD ~2875 GD#

love and kisses xxxxxx
 
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