Lack of fathers root cause of violence

spudbynight · 10 Aug 2011 at 10:51

colthillary said:
My only issue is that I dont believe in it. It DOES not keep you together. Commitment does. Getting married imo does not show commitment, it shows you want a party. It does not stop your relationship going down the toilet, if it wasnt going to last.

It angers me that I have to justify it to people. Whats the problem? Am I a bad person lol

Meh, you pays your money, you take your chances

A wedding doesn't mean a party. You and your girlfriend can get married at the local registry office without any reception. It most certainly does show commitment and I am genuinely puzzled as to why you have an issue with it.

I am sure you are a wonderful parent and fully committed to your girlfriend. With that in mind I just can't see why you are so unwilling to show it by getting married.

Captain Chaos · 10 Aug 2011 at 10:51

I pitty the fool, i do, i do

spudbynight · 10 Aug 2011 at 10:52

stuartw_b said:
Wow so much ******** in so few words.

Whats marriage got to do with parenting?

Married parents are more likely to stay together - have you not read the thread?

LordSplodge · 10 Aug 2011 at 10:52

Brian8bit said:
And the relevance to the significance of commitment to marriage is?

You've answered a question with a question. I want to know why you have so much anger towards the act of marriage, especially why you assume it must have a religious connotation.

unknownsock · 10 Aug 2011 at 10:53

spudbynight said:
A wedding doesn't mean a party. You and your girlfriend can get married at the local registry office without any reception. It most certainly does show commitment and I am genuinely puzzled as to why you have an issue with it.

I am sure you are a wonderful parent and fully committed to your girlfriend. With that in mind I just can't see why you are so unwilling to show it by getting married.

I don't need marriage to prove I love someone thank you.

Dolph · 10 Aug 2011 at 10:54

Brian8bit said:
Not just Christianity, but every monotheistic abrahamic religion. And every other religion that thinks that pairing up in front of "Gods" it's impossible to prove exist means your committment is any greater than someone who doesn't.

Marriage is a contract between two individuals and the state in the UK, that gives certain rights and responsibilities to all parties, the only involvement religion has is that it has the ability to witness this contract signing.

Perhaps you need to gain some greater knowledge before ranting on?

Captain Chaos · 10 Aug 2011 at 10:54

spudbynight said:
A wedding doesn't mean a party. You and your girlfriend can get married at the local registry office without any reception. It most certainly does show commitment and I am genuinely puzzled as to why you have an issue with it.

I am sure you are a wonderful parent and fully committed to your girlfriend. With that in mind I just can't see why you are so unwilling to show it by getting married.

As explained earlier 99.9% of all the marriages ive seen (inc my parents) ended in a horrible drawn out divorce.

Im not going down that road (not because i think it will end), i dont see the point.

There are no rights, tax breaks etc as there once was to justify it. Im not religious and therefore I cannot see a reason for it.

LordSplodge · 10 Aug 2011 at 10:54

R0B75 said:
I absolutely agree but I don't see why getting married is the answer. A responsible set of parents will put the child first after a split, regardless if they were married or not. My parents were married and split up, we (my brothers and I) were the priority and we turned out ok.
.

Yes but logic and reasoning can go out of the window if a relationship goes sour. At least if the parents were married the child gets more legal protections.

Dolph · 10 Aug 2011 at 10:55

colthillary said:
My only issue is that I dont believe in it. It DOES not keep you together. Commitment does. Getting married imo does not show commitment, it shows you want a party. It does not stop your relationship going down the toilet, if it wasnt going to last.

It angers me that I have to justify it to people. Whats the problem? Am I a bad person lol

Meh, you pays your money, you take your chances

anecdote or statistics, I wonder which is more reliable?

It isn't that you have to justify your life choices, or that people are saying that you lack commitment or anything like that, it is however, clearly visible that, with all confounding variables eliminated, Married parents on average are far less likely to split than unmarried ones. To argue otherwise is to argue an ideology, rather than reality.

R0B75 · 10 Aug 2011 at 10:57

spudbynight said:
A wedding doesn't mean a party. You and your girlfriend can get married at the local registry office without any reception. It most certainly does show commitment and I am genuinely puzzled as to why you have an issue with it.

I am sure you are a wonderful parent and fully committed to your girlfriend. With that in mind I just can't see why you are so unwilling to show it by getting married.

We can see your views on marriage in general and that's fine, others don't agree of course which again is fine. I'm not in favour of either I just don't want to get married and neither does my other half, we love our child and we're still together, there is no benefit to us getting married financially or legally because we've always agreed that no matter what happens our child comes first.

Now, my issue is, you claimed that non married parents are inferior. Why?

V4NT0M · 10 Aug 2011 at 10:58

spudbynight said:
Why? That isn't a reason.

Give a reason TO get married, the default state is unmarried therefore there does not have to be a reason not to get married.

Tefal · 10 Aug 2011 at 10:58

unknownsock said:
I still fail to see a reason to get married.

Tax breaks?

Captain Chaos · 10 Aug 2011 at 10:58

R0B75 said:
We can see your views on marriage in general and that's fine, others don't agree of course which again is fine. I'm not in favour of either I just don't want to get married and neither does my other half, we love our child and we're still together, there is no benefit to us getting married financially or legally because we've always agreed that no matter what happens our child comes first.

Now, my issue is, you claimed that non married parents are inferior. Why?

High Five,

+100000000000000

Exactly the same with myself and my missus!

Dolph · 10 Aug 2011 at 10:58

colthillary said:
There are no rights, tax breaks etc as there once was to justify it. Im not religious and therefore I cannot see a reason for it.

Actually, there are still quite a few legal rights and responsibilities that apply to married couples (or civil partnerships) but not to unwed couples. Rights of support, inheritance, assumed parenthood and so on all come with civil recognition of your relationship.

spudbynight · 10 Aug 2011 at 10:59

R0B75 said:
Now, my issue is, you claimed that non married parents are inferior. Why?

Statistically more likely to separate. I have mentioned that a few times now.

BennyC · 10 Aug 2011 at 10:59

Because of a lack of discipline on females behalf? Nothing stopping single mothers giving their son or daughter a clip around the ear.

The law needs to change to allow parents and teachers the authority to discipline them properly.

Captain Chaos · 10 Aug 2011 at 10:59

Tefal said:
Tax breaks?

No such thing, government done away with it years ago

Dolph · 10 Aug 2011 at 11:00

Skyfall said:
Give a reason TO get married, the default state is unmarried therefore there does not have to be a reason not to get married.

Statistically you're much less likely to fail your kids?

Of course, you say that doesn't apply to you, but so does everyone else, and it can't be true for everyone, otherwise the statistics wouldn't be what they are

spudbynight · 10 Aug 2011 at 11:00

colthillary said:
As explained earlier 99.9% of all the marriages ive seen (inc my parents) ended in a horrible drawn out divorce.

Im not going down that road (not because i think it will end), i dont see the point.

There are no rights, tax breaks etc as there once was to justify it. Im not religious and therefore I cannot see a reason for it.

Plenty of rights to married couples that you don't have at present.

spudbynight · 10 Aug 2011 at 11:01

colthillary said:
No such thing, government done away with it years ago

Do you have any assets? CGT is quite a hefty tax.