Mum is on her last legs

sorry to hear about your mum mate
keep strong and enjoy every min with your mum, even through the bad days
even though the bad days where not nice, i always enjoyed helping my dad ( who died to cancer ) do the simplest of things, walking him to the bathroom, helping him brush his teeth

its **** mate it really is, love your mum ! and be super strong
sorry to hear this
 
neodude said:
Yet another Cancer thread.

My mum had breast cancer 6 years ago which she managed to overcome and was fine for 5 years, then she was told that the cancer had come back in her bones. The secondary bone cancer was uncurable but was manageable and we were hoping that she would be around for a good few years to come. Over the last few months she has became very tired and dizzy, she went into hospital a couple of weeks ago to try and find the source of the dizziness. Last week we had the terrible news that the cancer had spread to the lining of her brain and that she only has months left to live. The speed at which she has went downhill is scary, only a month ago she was out shopping with us and feeling fine, this week she can barely get out of her hospital bed and is frequently very confused and very tired.

I have come to terms with it over the past couple of days but still occasionally have to fight back the tears. Overall feeling of numbness is the best way to describe it.

This couldn't have come at a worst possible time, for the past 2 years I've been training towards validation as an Air Traffic Controller at Aberdeen Airport, living 130 miles away from my mum. I applied for a compassionate transfer last year when my mum was diagnosed with the bone cancer but it was refused. In March this year I failed my validation training at Aberdeen. A few weeks ago I had an interview with HR to discuss my future options, they agreed that there had been some major issues with my training at Aberdeen and that worrying about my mother probably hadn't helped so I've been given another shot at Edinburgh.

It was hoped that my mother was going to be able to come home with a care package set up at home, but I'm not so sure now. She has good days and bad days and is still getting used to the steroids that they are giving her. I'm hoping that she is going to get better before she gets worse. Her one wish was to see me settled in a job and house with my wife and 3 kids. It's not looking like she is going to see it tbh. I start at Edinburgh Airport in 3 weeks and part of me is excited as it is where I always wanted to be but part of me is worried that I won't be able to concentrate on the training through worry.

Sorry to be all doom and gloom, just needed to get it off my chest.
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To be honest mate you need to face up to the reality that it's not going to get any better.

If you want to persue false hope, then by all means do it.

If however you'd like to know what's really going to happen, feel free to drop me a PM.

My mother was diagnosed with a brain tumour 3 years ago. They removed as much of the tumour as possible and followed this up with chemotherapy and radiotherapy but ultimately its very difficult to totally eradicate brain tumours due to their location.

She lasted about 13 months unfortunately and its a horribe horrible thing to have to go through.

Your experience sounds very very similar to mine except we were unaware of the cancer at the start. She started off feeling weak, tired, and had worrying dizzy spells. Finally she had one at work and fell over and knocked her head and was rushed to hospital. It was there that they discovered the tumour and made the diagnosis.

If they have given her months to live they too know they cannot possibly remove all traces of the tumour and just hope to prolong her life as much as possible.
 
Sounds like a terrible situation to be in. All the best to you. My father is going in to have very invasive surgery to remove a tumour on his oseophagus next week and I just started a new job so unfortunately I can relate to work distractions.

Stay strong!
 
I can't even imagine.. I get so wound up about minor things and when people post something like this I realise how insignificant my troubles are.
 
Sagalout said:
So sorry to hear this. My mum had breast cancer 4 years ago and every year I'm nervous as hell when she'd goes for her checkup. Its a terrible disease anyway, and being your mum just makes it even worse.
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That worry never disappears. My Mum survived breast cancer in 1989 when we were told there was a good chance we would lose her. 26 years later I'm still nervous when she goes back to be checked.

I am so sorry to hear about your neodude but go out and make her proud if that's what she wants.
 
Pretty much reduces me to a wreck reading these threads so often now (only just over 12months since seeing my dad get destroyed in a few weeks by cancer)

Thoughts are with you neodude and theres quite abit of great advice in this thread!
 
Update...

My mum passed away on 10th August :(

There was no pain and she went in her sleep, best we could've hoped for tbh.

Life sucks sometimes.
 
May she rest in peace Neodude, I'm very sorry for your loss. I know that you are in a horrible place now, but you must focus on your wife and children, they will get you through this.
Also concentrate on your work and complete the ATC exams, it is what your mother would have wanted you to do. Complete it in her memory, and may she always be at your shoulder to help and guide you in the future.
Best of luck to you and your family, my deepest sympathy to you all.

SM.
 
It's very sad, but at least now she is at rest and no longer in pain. To live with cancer in that stage is an awful existence, it isn't living.

Hope you're OK though.
 
Wow Neo,

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. There's little that I or anyone else could say that would make things any better. It's a horrible thing to go through, but don't be afraid to ask for help or advice from those who can give it.

Take care mate,
 
Sorry to hear all this mate.

I sincerely hope things get better for for you and your family. Sending you all my luck and best wishes mate.

Im sure were ever she is, its a much better and brighter place for having her their.

Be strong mate and take care.
 
Condolences to you and your family, my family recently had the same situation except it was cancer of the gall bladder, diagnosis to passing away all happened in less than a month. Sometimes life is not fair but remember the good times and laughs you had with her, it won't change anything but will help you through. My thoughts are with you, it isn't an easy time, my gran's funeral is this friday coming, love and sympathy x
 
So sorry to hear this, I can only imagine how devastated you are a the moment. I've nursed an uncle through the end stages of terminal cancer (brain) but nothing could compare to losing your mum.

As others have said, take solace in the fact she's no longer suffering and remember her as she was in life not as she was towards the end. Live in honour of her memory and don't try to shoulder all this alone. My email's in Trust if you need to unload. Take care of each other.
 
Sorry to hear about your mum, mine passed in January so know what you are going through :(

I see you wrote you where fighting back the tears, don't bother holding them back, just let it all out. I still break down now when thinking of me mum, just one of them things when thinking about a loved one :)
 
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