shuzzbutt, you play quite like me, when i used to play abel (play defensive and pick a spot to attack). here are a few tip for you:
it seems you are too focused in landing the step kick, you should poke with s.lk more and use it like a measuring stick, because is a lot quicker and if it lands it usually means you are close enough to do a step kick. use the meter to get though fireball with ex cod and ex wheel kicks, aside from fadc combo and roll escapes thats the place to use the meter for. remember you can ultra his fireball for huge damage if you see it early.
and you should mix up your offence with some lock down block string when you are close. it is good for building meter and keep them on their toes guessing. you can also frame trap with c.lk or c.lp, close s.mp or close s.hp and confirm it into a combo or super. but beware the first hit of s.hp will whiff on crouching characters. cod is not safe unless you fadc, make sure you have the meter unless you are desperate.
i noticed you are quite timid after a knockdown. sometimes you might want to do that, but when ryu is out of meter you definitely want to make it count. abel can do a roll mix-up after the command throw with forward dash, and then roll after the grab. you can control which side you are on depending on which roll you used, and you can go for a c.lk, s.hp combo (use c.lp, s.mp if you feel you need to be saver, but your opponent can block this high) or overhead (close s.hk), or throw or step kick (hk roll get further away to give it more time to start-up) or c.hp after that. it is important to work on the knockdown game, because if it only takes 2-3 proper combo to take most characters out and this is the best position for abel to set them up.
you can do a similar mix-up after falling sky with back dash, roll.
on the bright side, you are quite good with s.hp anti air, better than me actually. but did you know you can also anti air with c.mk and c.hp? c.mk is the best because it beats most things. c,hp got nerfed so it is hard to anti air, but you get a combo off it so it is worth trying sometime.