Autism, Aspergers, Dyspraxia etc

arknor said:
im sure in your world im capable of beeing a male escort aswell or a holiday tour rep, maybe ill try my hand at motivational speaking.

look into autism FFS especially the bit about emotions and taking everything literally
Click to expand...

My nephew doesn't take anything any way at all....he is generally emotionally closed off from the world entirely. On the very rare occassion one of my brothers can engage him to some extent, but even that is rare.

The strange thing is that he seems happy enough as long as he is not put into new situations too quickly and is not surrounded by more than a few people at a time.
 
Dj_Jestar said:
Indeed it is/was. :) I take interest in topics about human behaviour, but often these threads deteriorate into an almost Victorian "suck it up and sort ya life out" vs overly-sympathetic "there there, it's not anyone's responsibility, we're all special but all equal" debate when the reality is somewhere in the middle. :)
Click to expand...

Yes, that is my view. I believe this comes from another Victorian view of seeing things of the mind as distinctly different from the body when in fact they are one and the same and should be treated as such.

Diagnosis of such a condition does not mean that's it life is over. Diagnosis means that you need to try harder to get what you want in some cases and society has a moral duty (in my eyes) to facilitate that for you whether that be direct medical/social/educational input, reducing prejudice, etc. This is why I try and chip in on these threads and strike a middle ground.
 
Nitefly said:
I think you missed his point. He hasn't implied such people can do 'everything' - in fact your attitude is sort of backing him up!
Click to expand...

Absolutely that.

His refusal to read what I wrote rather than what he thinks I wrote is frustrating but kinda makes my point for me.
 
Dj_Jestar said:
Indeed it is/was. :) I take interest in topics about human behaviour, but often these threads deteriorate into an almost Victorian "suck it up and sort ya life out" vs overly-sympathetic "there there, it's not anyone's responsibility, we're all special but all equal" debate when the reality is somewhere in the middle. :)
Click to expand...

100% spot on. You can either use it as a crutch and suck up the sympathy or you can use your understanding of what's wrong to steer towards the middle ground.
 
Nitefly said:
I think you missed his point. He hasn't implied such people can do 'everything' - in fact your attitude is sort of backing him up!
Click to expand...

because i tried clubbing twice when i was around 18 he assumes im capable of entering social situations and handling them fine.

they were the most uncomfortable moments in my life i dont remember speaking to anybody apart from the odd word with the people i went with , i didnt dance as i hate drawing attention to myself and the people who didnt know me probably though i was wierd.

beeing drunk doesnt bring me out of my shell either im exactly the same....

beeing "labeled" has made my try harder if anything, i get out the house more now than i did before i had a diagnosis but i can never be normal.
ive been to house gatherings with my wife where i havent spoken to anyone all for the whole time.

its not as simple as pushing myself into a situation and then getting on as a normal person would chatting away and having fun , yet he believes im wrong and if someone pushs me into a social situation its for my own good :rolleyes:

he has no clue about beeing autistic and thinks everyne is making it up, i will never have a normal social life or many friends no matter what he thinks.


btw my marriage broke up because i am autistic and my wife broke down in tears when she took me to see my GP about it., you can have her number if u want so you can tell her its all utter **** and im perfectly capable of leading a normal life
 
Last edited:
As someone who's professionally diagnosed with several autistic spectrum disorders I get sick of people using it as an excuse for their behaviour and lifestyle, there are so many things you can do to help yourself that there is no reason to bleat on about how you'll never have many friends and no social life. Join support groups, find like minded people, accept that people will occasionally find you a bit odd or irritating and realise that those particular opinions really don't matter.
 
I think it will be very hard for my niece to lead a 'normal' life, she knows she isn't like others and yes gets bullied because of it at school but she will totally freak out if things aren't her way, put in a difficult situation and if for example she is bored, she will just say it straight away to the whole room. Anything that puts her under pressure or stress will make her just panic, even things like food taking slightly longer to arrive or staying at an event longer than she had wanted to, this of course is tied to how tired she is too.

Aside from the bullying she doesn't have many friends or they have deserted her or been upset by her actions, a lot of it is because she is such hard work. She is not really in control or socially comfortable enough to seek her own help or try to conquer things, she is 15 now and is obviously not progressing onto things that 15 year old girls like to do, make up, dressing all girly up etc.

There is the issue though and I think my mother is a good example of it, that she still gets treated like a child, she is definitely more childish than most girls her age but she is treated like she is 10 or 11 still to the maximum, she has told me this frustrates her.
 
Last edited:
Cuchulain said:
As someone who's professionally diagnosed with several autistic spectrum disorders I get sick of people using it as an excuse for their behaviour and lifestyle, there are so many things you can do to help yourself that there is no reason to bleat on about how you'll never have many friends and no social life. Join support groups, find like minded people, accept that people will occasionally find you a bit odd or irritating and realise that those particular opinions really don't matter.
Click to expand...

serval autistic disorders such as what? and you must be aware there are many different levels to each disorder.

some autistic people sit in a room rocking back and forth with no interaction with other people at all no matter how you attempt to stimulate them.

others cant stand to be touched etc, for some people its not an "excuse"
 
arknor said:
serval autistic disorders such as what? and you must be aware there are many different levels to each disorder.

some autistic people sit in a room rocking back and forth with no interaction with other people at all no matter how you attempt to stimulate them.

others cant stand to be touched etc, for some people its not an "excuse"
Click to expand...

Aspergers, adult ADD and dyspraxia. People who're sitting in a room rocking back and forth aren't the ones whinging unneccessarily on a forum about their life.
 
I think people may be getting a little too reactive to what Fox is saying.

He isn't dismissing anyones genuine diagnosis, neither is he saying 'suck it up'. He is saying that some people use self diagnosis to explain why they are socially inept, when in reality they are just shy or a bit weird compared to the accepted norm in any given group and instead of learning to deal with it objectively they ascribe it to a syndrome and exact sympathy or use it as an excuse.

He is not dismissing Arknor or any other persons genuine diagnosis.
 
arknor said:
because i tried clubbing twice when i was around 18 he assumes im capable of entering social situations and handling them fine.

they were the most uncomfortable moments in my life i dont remember speaking to anybody apart from the odd word with the people i went with , i didnt dance as i hate drawing attention to myself and the people who didnt know me probably though i was wierd.

beeing drunk doesnt bring me out of my shell either im exactly the same....

beeing "labeled" has made my try harder if anything, i get out the house more now than i did before i had a diagnosis but i can never be normal.
ive been to house gatherings with my wife where i havent spoken to anyone all for the whole time.

its not as simple as pushing myself into a situation and then getting on as a normal person would chatting away and having fun , yet he believes im wrong and if someone pushs me into a social situation its for my own good :rolleyes:

he has no clue about beeing autistic and thinks everyne is making it up, i will never have a normal social life or many friends no matter what he thinks.


btw my marriage broke up because i am autistic and my wife broke down in tears when she took me to see my GP about it., you can have her number if u want so you can tell her its all utter **** and im perfectly capable of leading a normal life
Click to expand...

The fact that you're aware of your social exclusion, and are able to eloquently explain it would go against a diagnosis of autism. You seem to have it in your head that you have ASD. People with ASD often feel that their behaviour is normal, whereas you are clearly aware that it's not. Just something to think about for you.

Plenty of people with autism are married, have kids, lead a normal life and so on. The fact that you're attributing the marriage break-up to autism is something that an autistic person would probably not do. Jus' sayin.

P.s. everybody is autistic to some degree. What will a label help you with?
 
Arknor you are getting you wires crossed, so I'm going to sum up what people are saying.

Everyone is acknowledging that autism and the other (for a lack of a better word) disorders are real things that cause many people to suffer. No one has said otherwise.

Some people believe that people self-diagnose that they have these disorders because they are merely socially awkward - being socially awkward is pretty common and it's something that can be overcome to large extents with most people, and to SOME extents people with various levels of autism.

Therefore we are sympathising with those that suffer, but wish that it wasn't a card played by certain individuals when their behaviour is somewhat irrational but perfectly common.

Heck, you should see the some of hissy fits I get into when I lose my keys!! :eek: :D
 
Cuchulain said:
As someone who's professionally diagnosed with several autistic spectrum disorders I get sick of people using it as an excuse for their behaviour and lifestyle, there are so many things you can do to help yourself that there is no reason to bleat on about how you'll never have many friends and no social life. Join support groups, find like minded people, accept that people will occasionally find you a bit odd or irritating and realise that those particular opinions really don't matter.
Click to expand...

Professionally diagnosed with several autistic spectrum disorders? I didn't think that was possible.
 
fus said:
Professionally diagnosed with several autistic spectrum disorders? I didn't think that was possible.
Click to expand...

Professionally = by a consultant psychiatrist and ASD service psychologist and several = more than one, the same way you can have a chest AND ear infection, it's not just "an infection".
 
fus said:
What will a label help you with?
Click to expand...

Whilst I agree with the general sentiment - or at least I hope it comes across that way. I would reiterate for when it comes to children then that label is very very important - it can mean the difference between exclusion from school and the opportunity and support to not "assume a sickrole" and become the best you can become. Which in my eyes is one of the things that life is all about.
 
Cuchulain said:
Professionally = by a consultant psychiatrist and ASD service psychologist and several = more than one, the same way you can have a chest AND ear infection, it's not just "an infection".
Click to expand...

Autism is a spectrum. Aspergers and Autism occupy different spaces along that spectrum. As far as I'm aware you can't have a diagnosis of both.
 
Xordium said:
Whilst I agree with the general sentiment - or at least I hope it comes across that way. I would reiterate for when it comes to children then that label is very very important - it can mean the difference between exclusion from school and the opportunity and support to not "assume a sickrole" and become the best you can become. Which in my eyes is one of the things that life is all about.
Click to expand...

Any school should be inclusive of a young person, irrespective of their difficulties. However, if the autism is profound then yes, of course, a label and subsequent support and statement is going to be helpful (not least to secure a place in specialist provision).
 
fus said:
Autism is a spectrum. Aspergers and Autism occupy different spaces along that spectrum. As far as I'm aware you can't have a diagnosis of both.
Click to expand...

If one was "classically" Aspergers then they would receive that diagnosis. However, if they exhibited traits above and beyond that then they may well get a dual diagnosis.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom