Park van outside
Go inside to drink beer while burning car rolls into your van
???
Profit
Lighted wing mirror and front headlight but no paint damage as far as can see!!!!
Boo. I was expecting this thread to be the result of the op experimenting with toasters and knives.
/Salsa

I had trouble reading your op, Op...!!!
Also:

got to hand it to the firemen. I definatly wouldn't go anywhere near a burning car!
Worst "Big Firemen rescued me xD" thread ever.
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I'll call the fire brigade.