Exes who are friends?

STOP STALKING YOUR EX :eek:

Only joking :D

Better to ask someone IRL I'd reckon who both knows you and the fella your on about ;)
 
LocalNative said:
Just friends :o
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Okay. Wasn't trying to be nosey, it's just if you were to answer yes to that question then it'd be obvious he was using you and should be dropped in an instant.

He still sounds like an ass though and it's really entirely up to you whether you cut contact or not. Being friends with an ex can work but I find it takes time and certainly a lot longer than it's been for you.
 
It's not a great situation, but when he says "We'll stay mates" it means "Guy Mates".

Basically us guys treat friends differently. So yes he won't call, won't make the effort, but that's what guys do. It's not going to be an intimate friendship that you had as a couple at all. He means, chat and on the odd occaision hang out.

Both of my major ex girlfriends completely cut contact with me. We didn't end in the worst terms they just decided they didn't want to stay friends. Maybe it's hard to stay friends once you've been closer and it's easier just to break away and forget about it all.
 
Do what most other people have said- cut off all contact. One thing I find helps is having male friends around. Getting a male perspective on what's going on really helps a lot. They can give you that harsh reality check that you sometimes need and don't really get from your girl mates. It also makes it easier to not contact him, as you do get that hit of male company that you will really be missing after a 4 year relationship, and if your mates are anything like mine they will be fine with you calling them to stop yourself calling him, just to get you through that initial period where you crave contact with him. Good luck =)
 
kaffe said:
I'm still finding it hard to not think about my ex all the time and I don't think I'll ever be totally over him, but he appears to be well over it, which is pretty lame. Life goes on though!
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Its natural to feel that way but in time you will be sorted out just fine. This guy is now out of your circle. Remove him from this pedestal you have put him on and get on with your life. Each day you spend miserable and thinking of him is ANOTHER day you will never get back - and you wasted it on someone who has moved on!!

You deserve better, you KNOW you deserve better. Theres billions of us on this small rock Im sure you'll bump into someone nice one day. In the meantime dont let your ex see or hear you miserable. Always be smiling and happy - even when you happen to meet him and have to PRETEND to be happy. Never let the ex see you down.
 
geeklight said:
Do what most other people have said- cut off all contact. One thing I find helps is having male friends around. Getting a male perspective on what's going on really helps a lot. They can give you that harsh reality check that you sometimes need and don't really get from your girl mates. It also makes it easier to not contact him, as you do get that hit of male company that you will really be missing after a 4 year relationship, and if your mates are anything like mine they will be fine with you calling them to stop yourself calling him, just to get you through that initial period where you crave contact with him. Good luck =)
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Same to you... Mail in trust *thumbs up*
 
The Funktopus said:
A mate of mine recently ditched his missus, as he caught her setting herself up to meet with another bloke (who was also married, and a father to boot) via the internet. Oddly however, he's decided to remain friends with her, but was telling me the other day that she's been moaning to him about his aunt and sister deleting her from their Facebook friends list. Then she starts chatting to me on Facebook, and I'm at a loss as to how I should play it. Part of me wants to tell her to go and fornicate herself with a rusty iron stake for what she did to my mate. Another argues that I should stay civil as he wants to remain friends with her, and she'll only give him grief if I do tell her where to go.

I honestly don't know how he can do it, I'd be furious and absolutely hate her if she'd done that to me. He's adamant he won't take her back though as she's already begged him to give her another chance on several occasions apparently. Offered him no strings pasty as well, which he's turned down.

So yeah, first world problems yo.
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Fairly similar to how my break up went!

After 5 years found out she was getting it elsewhere so we split up, how or why I didnt flip I dont know, guess its just not me, but we stayed in touch for a bit until eventually it just died out.

She went very quickly into another relationship (everyone knows this doesn't work) while I stayed single, bought loads of motorbike bits, went on a 2 week holiday on the bike around France, Austria etc on my own (for the record, that was possibly the best thing I could've done and helped me in so many ways, had a great time) and just generally focused my spare time on boys toys. No alcohol or women.

Fast forward and she's had 2-3 short relationships, came crying to me at the end of them and practically begged me to go back, I had time for her because I know im probably the only one she'll open up to and she needs that. Also it gives me great plessure to see that she knows damn well she let a good thing go!

I guess in short, things will go there own way but certainly dont make an effort to keep in touch, if its ment to happen it will.

Good luck
:)
 
Danm54 said:
Fairly similar to how my break up went!

=
She went very quickly into another relationship (everyone knows this doesn't work) while I stayed single, bought loads of motorbike bits, went on a 2 week holiday on the bike around France, Austria etc on my own (for the record, that was possibly the best thing I could've done and helped me in so many ways, had a great time) and just generally focused my spare time on boys toys. No alcohol or women.
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Love that you did that. Planning a trip this Summer to France and Italy. Really just can't wait to get my mind off of things.
 
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